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Hey I'm learning a lot now. This is wonderful. This is fun.
我学到了很多 这真有意思
Because with one, it's"a fixed mindset", in Dweck's words.
因为 一个是“既定思维模式” 如徳韦克所说
it's the malleable, changing, ongoing, developing mindset.
是种可拓展的 时刻改变和发展的思维模式
One-there is fear of failure, cause I want to be smart.
一个是 畏惧失败 因为我想聪明
It's fun being called smart and intelligent. I don't want to threaten the schema.
被人称赞聪明很有意思 我不想威胁到这个基模
Versus working hard, focusing on the process, when the excellence schema becomes the dominant modus operandi.
相对的是努力的、重视过程的 当追求卓越的基模成为惯常做法
OK. So how do we overcome perfectionism? What do we do about it if we have it?
那么我们如何克服完美主义呢？如果我们确实有这个问题怎么办？
And again, remember there's no perfect perfectionist. There is no perfect person committed to excellence.
要记住 根本就没有完美的完美主义者 也没有完美的追求卓越者
You need to choose in your life where you are happy, and where you think you can be happier.
你们必须选择你能快乐的生活方式 选择你认为能够更加快乐的生活方式
This may not even speak to you. This for you may be just interesting academically, or it may be deeply personal.
不会有现成的答案摆在你面前 对你而言可能只是有趣的学术理论或者是非常个人化的原因
So how do we become more and more of the excellence schema?
那么我们该怎么更多地采用卓越的基模呢
First, it is about self-awareness. It's about understanding.
首先 是自我认知 在于自我了解
For me, a big breakthrough was understanding "hey I'm actually defensive and I don't want to be defensive."
对我来说 明白“我太过于有自卫性了我不想再这样了”是一个大突破
Because I know that it hurts intimacy and relationships and that's when I started the real work on it.
因为我知道这会伤害亲密的人际关系 并且从那时候我开始在这上面努力
And that has improved, and continues to improve my relationships.
并且有所进步 并且在将来仍将继续提升我的人际关系
Or"look at my reaction to failure. Look how afraid I am of hearing a no.
或者 “看看我有多么畏惧失败、我有多么害怕听到个不字、
Look how afraid I am of being rejected. Look how afraid I am of coping and trying."
看看我有多么害怕被拒绝、看看我有多害怕应对与尝试。”
So being aware of it. I mean, if you want to improve your forehand in tennis,
就应该意识到它 如果你想让你的网球技术进步
you first need to be aware of what it is that you want to improve.
你必须首先明白你想要进步的是什么
So that's the first step. And that's easier said than done.
这就是第一步 说起来容易做起来难
