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Okay. There is no other way I'd rather be spending my Sunday than asking Michelle Wolf 73 questions.
好，这个周日我要问米歇尔·沃尔夫73个问题。
Oh good! Alright! Let's do this. How do you feel about me arranging this interview on a Sunday?
哦好吧！好！我们开始吧。你感觉我把采访安排在周日怎么样？
Well I was gonna have to work on my new show anyway. So, might as well do this too.
嗯，不管怎样我都要准备我的新节目，顺便做了采访也行。
And that's why we're here, at this nondescript building in Hell's Kitchen. Let's check it out.
这就是我们来这里的原因，这里是位于地狱厨房的一座不显眼建筑。我们来看看吧。
So Michelle, besides this interview what is the best part about your day today? I mean, these sneakers are pretty great.
米歇尔，除了这次采访，你今天最美好的时刻是什么呢？这双运动鞋真的很棒。
And can you give your fans a taste of what the show's about?
你可以和粉丝说说这档节目的内容吗？
It's called The Break and it's on Netflix and it's gonna be lots and lots of fun.
节目的名字叫The Break，你们可以在网飞上观看，特别搞笑。
Okay. Now how's it different than all those other shows? I would say more jokes, less commercials.
好，这档节目和其他节目有什么不同吗？我会讲更多的笑话，广告也少。
Fair enough. Now, what's the secret to comedy? Honesty, originality and punchlines.
很好，喜剧的秘诀是什么？坦诚、原创和包袱。
Love it. John, I'm gonna show these guys the studio. Absolutely, just give me two minutes. Thanks.
我很喜欢。约翰，我要给这些人展示一下工作室。当然可以，给我2分钟。谢谢。
What's your best quality, Michelle? Probably that I'm never satisfied.
你最棒的优点是什么，米歇尔？可能是我从不满足。
What's your worst trait? Probably that I'm never satisfied.
你最致命的缺点是什么？可能是我从不满足。
I heard a rumor that you're shy? Is this true? What me?
据说你很害羞？真的吗？我？怎么可能？
What would you be doing if you weren't doing comedy? Well, when I was five, I wanted to be a bulldozer lady, so whatever that is.
如果你没有做喜剧演员的话，你会从事什么工作呢？嗯，我5岁时想整天欺负别人，不管啦。
What's the hardest thing that you've ever done? Wilson.
你做过最艰难的事情是什么？威尔逊。
What's Wilson? Oh sorry I did a who's the hardest thing you've ever done? Michelle, Michelle -- keep it clean. Please keep it clean.
威尔逊是什么？哦抱歉，我以为你问的是谁是最难整的人。米歇尔，米歇尔——别说脏话，请别说脏话。
So this is my workout for the day... did I hear that you ran an ultra marathon recently? I did, 50 miles. Impressive.
这就是我今日份的锻炼……我听到你最近跑了一场超级马拉松是吗？嗯，50英里。厉害。
What's the most interesting thing about running a 50 mile ultra marathon?
跑一场50英里的超级马拉松期间，你遇到最有意思的事情是什么？
Probably that you don't understand it unless you do one. But also, there's a ton of bananas, and that is not a sexual innuendo.
你做了就会明白吧，可能是这样。还有，那里有许多香蕉，不是性暗示哦。
What's the most interesting thing about how life changes when you're famous?
你出名后生活一定发生了改变，最有趣的一点是什么呢？
Way more sunglasses, even when it rains. Here are the drafts you asked for. Thanks Aliza. Alright.
我经常戴墨镜了，即使是雨天。这是你要的初稿。谢谢你，艾丽莎。好。
What are those drafts? Oh, new jokes for this week. Oh. So cool.
那些初稿是啥？哦，是这周的新笑话。哦，真不错。
Welcome to my office. You can tell it's mine because there's a sign on the door that says so.
欢迎来到我的办公室，你可以看出这是我的办公室，因为门上有标识。
And this is a really, nice office. Looking good. It's great. It's been a lot of people's, John Stewart, Stephen Colbert, come on.
这间办公室真不错，看起来不错。许多名人曾经在这里办公：约翰·斯图尔特、斯蒂芬·科尔伯特，拜托。
So can you describe for me your creative process when you have to write a bunch of episodes?
你可以给我描述一下你必须写许多期稿子的创作过程吗？
Well you write as many drafts as you can and then you try to beat those jokes.
嗯，你能写多少初稿就写多少，然后你努力写出比这些更棒的笑话。
And what makes a perfect joke? I think something you didn't know you wanted to hear.
怎样才能写出一个完美的笑话？连你自己都不知道你想听到的那些笑话就是完美的笑话。
Mmmm. When'd you first start telling jokes?
嗯。你第一次开始讲笑话是什么时候？
I don't know, probably when I was little trying to impress my brothers and then it didn't and they punched me or something.
我不知道，可能是我小时候试图给我几个哥哥留下深刻印象的时候吧，但那次失败了，他们打了我还是怎么的。
Now what do you hate about comedy, right at this moment? Claptor and pandering.
此时此刻，你讨厌喜剧的一点是什么？拍手和迎合。
What's the coolest thing on your desk? Well, clearly I take a lot of beverages.
你桌上最棒的一件东西是什么？嗯，很明显，我有许多瓶饮料。
But these two are my favorite. My nephews painted them.
但这2个是我最喜欢的，这是我侄子涂的。
Wow. Artistic. Yeah, until you realize their both 39.
哇，真有艺术气息。嗯，他们都39岁了，你知道这个就不会这么想了。
Alright, now it has been 22 days since the White House Correspondents' Dinner. I'm sure you're very familiar with it.
好吧，白宫记者晚宴已经过去22天了，你肯定对这次活动非常熟悉。
How does this experience feel in hindsight? Great. I was maybe too nice.
事后你感觉这次经历怎么样？很棒，我可能还是太善良了。
And what was your favorite joke? I liked all of them but my favorites were the ones that I actually cut. And now they're in a vault.
你最喜欢的笑话是什么？所有我都喜欢，但我最喜欢的是我剪掉的一个笑话，现在存在我的保险箱里。
Wow can I see those? Someday. Alright, I'll wait.
我能看看吗？有机会吧。好吧，我会等的。
What was your first reaction when you learned the president would not be in attendance? What a pussy.
当你听到总统先生不会到场的时候，你第一个反应是什么？真怂。
How do you describe telling jokes to people's faces like that?
描述一下你给这样脸色的人讲笑话有什么感受？
So much more fun, you can feel them be mad.
很有趣，你可以感受到他们生气了。
Michelle would you ever do that experience ever again? Will anyone ever do it again?
米歇尔，你还会这样做吗？别人还会这么做吗？
Good question. Studio's ready. Ah, great!
好问题。工作室一切就绪。啊，太棒啦！
Okay, so, what are you completely done talking about now? The Correspondents' Dinner. Yes you are.
好，那你什么时候谈论完当今问题？白宫记者晚宴时就说完了。是的。
If your life were a hashtag, what would it be?
如果你的生活是个标签的话，会是什么呢？
#TheBreakNetflix. Okay, Michelle can you have your assistant here ask a question?
#TheBreakNetflix。好，米歇尔，你能让你的助理问你个问题吗？
Aliza can you please ask me a question? Would you like some coffee? Always.
艾丽莎，请问我一个问题。你想要点咖啡吗？一直都想。
Michelle, how would you describe yourself in three nouns? Bad at grammar.
米歇尔，你会用哪三个名词描述自己？我语法不好。
How would your peers describe you in three adjectives? Loud, loud, oh my, for the love of God, you're so loud.
你的同龄人会用哪三个形容词描述你呢？吵，吵，哦我的天哪，你太吵了。
What's -- Do you want a snack? Yes please, thank you. What's the funniest thing in the world to you?
什么——你想要零食吗？嗯，谢谢。对你来说，最好笑的事情是什么？
I love those cats who wear like pirate costumes and it makes it look like they're walking on their legs with their arms flailing.
我喜欢那些穿着海盗装的猫咪，我觉得它们看起来像是胳膊挥舞着，腿在走路。
What, what's your best accent? Whatever this weird Central Pennsylvania twang I have is.
你说的最棒的口音是什么？宾夕法尼亚州中部地区的奇怪鼻音。
