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看动漫学心理学 爱和迷恋

来源:可可英语 编辑:Ceciliya   VIP免费外教试听课 |  可可官方微信:ikekenet

Psych2go fans and welcome back to another Psych2go video.

各位观众,欢迎回到我们的栏目。
In the beginning, obsession and love look a lot alike but as your relationship grows,
首先,迷恋和爱看似相似,但随着关系的发展,
obsession may rear its ugly head and tear your relationship apart.
迷恋可能会抬起它丑陋的头,撕裂你们的关系。
So how can you tell with your partner or someone you're interested in is truly in love or just obsessed with you.
所以如何辨别你的伴侣或你喜欢的某个人是真的喜欢你还是迷恋你呢?
Here are seven signs someone is obsessed with you and it's not love.
以下是对方迷恋你,而不是爱你的7种迹象。
1. They hate unanswered messages.
1. 他们讨厌未回复的信息。
Whether you call text or video chat, it's normal for couples to communicate on a regular basis.
不论是发短信还是视频通话,情侣间定期交流是很正常的。
However, obsessive people want to monitor their partners 24/7.
但迷恋的人想要一些24小时监控他们的伴侣。
For example, if a phone call goes to voicemail, an obsessive partner would immediately assume something is wrong.
例如,如果电话没打通,迷恋伴侣会立刻认为出了什么问题。
If you don't respond within minutes, they'll get angry or accuse you of breaking their trust.
如果你没有马上给他们回复,他们会生气,或指责你辜负了他们的信任。
In a loving relationship, your partner should respect your time and trust you when they're not around.
在一段充满爱意的关系中,你的伴侣应该尊重你的时间,给你信任。
On the other hand, when a relationship becomes obsessive, your partner is only after one thing--control.
另一方面,当一段关系变成迷恋,你的伴侣所追求的只有一件事——控制你。
2. They're emotionally immature.
2. 他们在情感上不成熟。
Is your partner emotionally mature?
你的伴侣在情感上成熟吗?
According to a 2013 study by Ahmadi and others, obsession goes by another name: immature love.
根据Ahmadi等人2013年的一项研究,迷恋有着另一个名字:不成熟的爱。
Immature love is egocentric, unforgiving and irresponsible.
不成熟的爱是以自我为中心、不宽容和不负责任的。
It stems from deep-rooted insecurities, which signify a general lack of trust.
它源于深深的不安全感,这意味着普遍缺乏信任。
Since love and emotional maturity are tightly woven together, many young relationships tow the line between love and obsession.
因为爱和情感成熟紧密交织在一起,许多年轻的关系在爱和痴迷之间徘徊。
3. They take without giving.
3. 他们只索取而不给予。

爱和迷恋

What are the core components of a loving relationship? In a 1983 study, Curtis explains that there are four pieces of a healthy romantic relationship.

恋爱关系的核心成分有哪些?在1983年的一项研究中,柯蒂斯解释了一段健康浪漫关系有四个组成部分。
Two of those pieces are giving and needing. In other words, loving partners should give as much as they take and take as much as they give.
其中两个是给予和需要。换句话说,相爱的两人所给予的和索取的是均等的。
When either of these pieces falls out of place, love can quickly turn into an obsession. That's why obsessive partners favor one or the other.
当这两件事中的任一件不协调时,爱就会马上变成迷恋。所以迷恋的伴侣会偏向其中一个。
Some partners give constantly, controlling you with pity and guilt, others take everything from you almost like they own you.
一些伴侣不断给予,用怜悯和内疚控制你;另一些则不断向你索取,把你当成自己的所有物。
Whether your partner is impossibly giving or incredibly demanding, your partner isn't loving you in a healthy way.
无论你的伴侣是给予过度还是索取过多,他都没有以健康的方式爱你。
Love should be a balance and should impact you and your partner equally.
爱应该是一种平衡,对你和你的伴侣产生同等的影响。
4. They romanticized the relationship.
4. 他们把这段关系浪漫化了。
Does your partner exaggerate your relationship? Many obsessive partners crave a love that doesn't exist.
你的伴侣会夸大你们的关系吗?很多迷恋的伴侣渴望一种不存在的爱情。
They want the kind of romance that exists in stories and fantasies, so they romanticized their own relationships.
他们想要的这种浪漫只存在于故事和幻想之中,所以他们会将自己的爱情浪漫化。
An obsessive partner may talk about marriage in the first month or call you their soulmate after the first date.
迷恋的伴侣可能在你们相爱的第一个月就谈论结婚,或是第一次约会后就称你是他们的灵魂伴侣。
If your partner doesn't see a relationship for what it really is, they may be more obsessive than loving.
如果你的伴侣没有看清一段关系的本质,他们可能是痴迷,而不是爱。
5. They control you with guilt.
5. 他们用内疚来控制你。
Does your partner use guilt as a weapon? Do they make you feel bad about spending time with friends or family?
你的伴侣会把内疚当做武器吗?他们是否会让你因花时间陪朋友或家人而感到内疚?
Some partners take over your life. They're only satisfied when they're the center of your attention.
一些伴侣想要掌管你的生活。他们要成为你的关注中心才满足。
But that isn't love, love is giving your partner their space to live their own lives not restricting their choices.
但是这不是爱,爱是给你的伴侣过自己生活的空间,而不是限制他们的选择。
If your partner controls you with guilt, you're not dealing with love, you're dealing with obsession.
如果你的伴侣用内疚控制你,那么你遇到的不是爱,而是迷恋。
6. They're obsessed with status.
6. 他们痴迷于地位。
Is your partner obsessed with your reputation or status? Sometimes, people fall in love with wealth, authority or social power.
你的伴侣痴迷于你的名誉或地位吗?有时,人们会爱上财富、权威或社会权力。
According to a 2006 study by Jordan and others, this condition is called erotomania.
根据Jordan等人2006年的一项研究,这种病症被称为被爱妄想症。
Erotomania creates a delusion that someone of higher status is in love with you.
被爱妄想症会让你产生一种错觉,以为某个地位更高的人爱上了你。
This false belief begins an obsessive usually one-sided relationship, which may last for years even decades.
这种错误的信念开始了一种迷恋的、通常是单方面的关系,这种关系可能会持续几年甚至几十年。
If your partner only cares about your status, they're not in love with you, they're obsessed.
如果你的伴侣只关心你的地位,那么他们不是爱你而是迷恋你。
And 7. They make false promises.
7. 他们做出虚假的承诺。
How often does your partner break their promises? Does your partner swear they're gonna change but never do?
你的伴侣经常失信于你吗?你的伴侣发誓说他们会改变,但从来不会改变吗?
If so, your partner may not be in love with you. When you love someone, you make promises because you intend to keep them.
如果是这样,那么你的伴侣可能不是爱你。当你爱上一个人的时候,你会做出承诺,因为你想要留住他们。
You're willing to sacrifice your time and effort to improve your partnership.
你愿意牺牲自己的时间和努力改善你们的关系。
On the other hand, if your partner is obsessive, they don't want to improve anything, they're only making promises to gain more control.
另一方面,如果你的伴侣是迷恋,那么他们并不像改善任何事情,他们做出承诺只为获得更多控制权。

重点单词   查看全部解释    
obsession [əb'seʃən]

想一想再看

n. 困扰,沉迷,着魔,妄想

联想记忆
tear [tiə]

想一想再看

n. 眼泪,(撕破的)洞或裂缝,撕扯
vt.

联想记忆
guilt [gilt]

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n. 罪行,内疚

 
demanding [di'mændiŋ]

想一想再看

adj. 要求多的,吃力的

 
core [kɔ:]

想一想再看

n. 果心,核心,要点
vt. 挖去果核

 
constantly ['kɔnstəntli]

想一想再看

adv. 不断地,经常地

 
obsessed [əb'sest]

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adj. 着迷的

联想记忆
impact ['impækt,im'pækt]

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n. 冲击(力), 冲突,影响(力)
vt.

联想记忆
communicate [kə'mju:nikeit]

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v. 交流,传达,沟通

联想记忆
social ['səuʃəl]

想一想再看

adj. 社会的,社交的
n. 社交聚会

 


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