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Well, my new poll numbers are in, and it's not looking good.
嗯嗯，新的民调出来，我的成绩不理想。
There's only one thing left to do... make cold calls to normal, everyday Americans and try to win back their support.
现在只有一件事情可以做，给普通的陌生美国人打电话，赢得他们的支持。
Congratulations, you're speaking to Donald Trump. I'm calling undecided voters who are way less rich and way less successful than me.
祝贺你，你在和特朗普打电话，我在给那些没打定主意的选民打电话，他们不富裕，而且也没有我成功。
What poor loser am I speaking to? Mike Bloomberg. Wait a second.
我在和哪位失败者打电话？麦克·布隆伯格，等一下。
The Michael Bloomberg of Bloomberg News and Bloomberg TV? That's right.
你是创建布隆伯格杂志和布隆伯格电视的布隆伯格？没错。
And Bloomberg Med and Chicago Bloomberg and Bloomberg 3: Tokyo Drift? Sure, Donald. Well, this is fantastic.
而且还创建了布隆伯格医学，芝加哥彭博社以及《彭博社3：东京漂移》？没错，唐纳德，真是太棒了。
I was gonna ask you for your vote, but now that I have you on the phone, how about I just ask you some questions like an interview?
我希望获得你的选票，但是我给你打了电话，我能否像访谈一样问你几个问题？
Even a stable genius like me would like to pick Mike Bloomberg's very smart, very huge brain.
就连我这种“稳定的天才”都愿意挑选布隆伯格聪明，硕大的大脑。
You know I'm running against you, right? Like I said...very dumb brain.
你知道我们俩是对手，没错吧？就像我说的，非常愚笨的大脑。
It's a teeny-tiny, very small brain. Okay, let's get started... Why exactly are you running for president?
是一个很小，很小的大脑，好吧，开始吧，你为什么要竞选总统呢？
Well, I've joined the race to return our country to sanity and honesty......so we can be proud of America again, and step one is giving you a New York goodbye.
嗯嗯，我竞选的原因是让美国重新回到理智和诚实的轨道上，这样我们可以再次以美国为傲，那么第一步就是给你一个“纽约再见”。
Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. What's a New York goodbye? Sending you back to Queens in a Yellow Cab while Times Square Elmo flips you off.
哦哦哦，哦哦哦，什么是纽约再见？让你重新回到皇后区的出租车里，时代广场的艾摩会向你竖起中指。
Wow. That's very mean, Mike. Very mean. Very nasty. Very nasty. Very nasty answer.
哦哦，你这人太坏了，麦克，太快了，太不好了，太不合适了，很糟糕的答案。
Didn't expect that from you. Very, very nasty. Next question... What makes you think you'd be a better president than me?
没想到你会这么说，很糟糕，很恶心，下一个问题，你为什么认为你比我更胜任总统？
And you can't cheat and use facts. Well, let's see...I'm a self-made businessman, a proven leader, and a New York icon,
你不能说谎和使用事实证据，嗯嗯，想一下，我是一个白手穷家的商人，一个领导人，纽约的标志人物，
whereas you just play those things on TV. Plus, I was mayor of the greatest city in America with the greatest audience in the world.
而你却只是在电视上炫耀一番，再加上，我是世界上最棒城市的市长，这里拥有世界上最多的观众。
Well, I do love New York City mayors. I even keep one as a pet. Good boy. Good boy. Good boy.
嗯嗯，我非常喜欢纽约市长，我甚至还养了一只做宠物，好孩子，好孩子，好孩子。
But, anyway, this is the big leagues, Mike, the bigly big leagues, so let me ask...
但无论如何，下面这个很重要，麦克，太重要了，我要问的是....
What would you do if you got to sit where I'm sitting? Well, first, I'd wipe the KFC grease off the seat......
你如果坐了我现在坐的位置，你会如何做，首先我会先擦掉椅子上的肯德基油脂...
maybe take some of those Kid Rock posters off the walls, and then I'd tackle key issues like climate change and gun safety and income inequality...
或许会从墙上把一些“摇滚小子”的海报拿下来，之后我会解决主要问题，比如气候变化，枪支安全和收入不平等。
which would mean raising taxes on billionaires. Wait. I'm gonna have to pay more in taxes? No, I said billionaires.
这就意味着提高亿万富翁的税费，等一下，你是让我支付更多税费，不，我说的是亿万富翁。
That was a low blow, Mike. I'm actually a very successful person just like you. I've created and run many beautiful businesses,
你这是恶意诽谤，麦克，我真的是一个和你一样成功的人，我创建并经营着许多成功的企业，
and none of them have failed...besides the casinos. And the university? Oh, yeah. And the magazine. That's right.
没有一个失败了，除了赌场，大学呢？对，还有杂志，没错。
And the steaks. Uh-huh. And the water. Forgot about that one. And the board game. I did that?
还有牛排，嗯嗯，还有水，忘记这个，还有棋类游戏，我做过吗？
And the vodka. Pour one out. And the airline. Okay! Okay! Okay! Let's change the subject! I don't like this.
还有伏特加，向你致敬，还有航空公司，好了，好了，好了，换一个话题吧，我不喜欢这个。
I don't like this game. Here's one more very perfect, very important question...
我不喜欢这个游戏，下面是一个非常重要，非常棒的问题。
Are you watching the Super Bowl this weekend? Yes, I am. Actually, I have a 60-second commercial airing during the game.
你会看本周末的超级碗吗？我会的，比赛期间会放映一分钟的广告。
Really? Me, too. What's yours about? It's about an important issue facing our country right now
真的吗？我也是，你的广告是什么？是关于美国面临的一个主要问题，
and how I can use my experience as a mayor and business leader to bring America forward. Cool.
以及如何通过我作为市长的经验和作为企业领导者的经验来带领美国向前，嗯嗯。
In my commercial, I get really angry, then I eat a Snickers bar and turn into Betty White.
在我的广告中，我会非常生气，之后我吃一个士力架，之后变成了贝蒂·怀特。
Well, it's been a fun interview, Mini Mike. That's my nickname for you, by the way, Mini Mike. Do you have any nicknames for me?
嗯嗯，这是一次有趣的采访，小麦克，这是我给你起的绰号，迷你麦克，你有给我的外号吗？
Well, usually, Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Stop that! I've heard enough. I've heard enough.
嗯嗯，通常...哦，哦，哦，停下来，我听多了，我听多了。
I guess you learn a lot of colorful words in New York City. Rudy! No! Rudy!
我猜你在纽约学了不少五颜六色的词汇，卢迪，不要，卢迪。
I got to go, Mike. Rudy just peed on the carpet. No, Rudy! Bad boy! Rudy!
我要走了，麦克，卢迪，在地毯上尿尿吧，不要，卢迪，淘气的孩子。
