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Welcome to The Tonight Show. My name is Jimmy Fallon. Hi. Let's get to the news and jokes. Well, guys, after months of speculation,
欢迎来到今夜秀节目，我是吉米·肥伦，我们来看看新闻和笑话吧。好吧，伙计们，经过几个月的猜测，
Joe Biden finally made the announcement we've all been waiting for. We're coming on the air with breaking news.
拜登终于宣布了我们期待已久的声明。我们要播出突发新闻。
Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden has made his choice. NBC News has confirmed that Biden has picked California Senator Kamala Harris to be his running mate,
民主党总统候选人拜登做出了选择。NBC新闻证实，拜登已经选择加州参议员卡马拉·哈里斯作为他的竞选搭档，
the first woman of color in history to be chosen for such a position. That's right, Joe Biden has selected Senator Kamala Harris as his running mate.
历史上第一位被选中担任这一职位的有色人种妇女。没错，拜登已经选择了参议员卡马拉·哈里斯作为他的竞选伙伴。
Kamala is the daughter of two immigrants, she went to Howard University, she's a Democratic senator from California. It's an inspiring story, unless you're Trump.
卡玛拉是两个移民的女儿，她上的是霍华德大学，她是来自加利福尼亚州的民主党参议员。这是一个鼓舞人心的故事，除非你是特朗普。
Then it's a Stephen King novel. Yeah, in a statement, Kamala said, I'm very much looking forward to serving as President..
然后是史蒂芬·金的一部小说，卡马拉在一份声明中说，我非常期待担任总统。。
Vice..Vice President! I mean, Vice President. Biden announced his selection in a tweet and called Kamala a fearless fighter for the little guy.
副总统...副总统！我是说，副总统。拜登在推特上宣布了他的选择，并称卡马拉是这个小家伙的无畏战士。
And Dr. Fauci was like, Thank you. She's only had the job for a few hours, but Kamala's already gearing up for her debate with Mike Pence.
福西医生说，谢谢。她只做了几个小时的工作，但卡玛拉已经准备好和迈克·彭斯辩论了。
That's why she spent the entire day arguing with a mannequin at Kohl's.
所以她花了一整天的时间和科尔家的一个人体模特争吵。
Yeah, Kamala Harris has been chosen by Joe Biden as his running mate and potential vice president.
是的，卡马拉·哈里斯已经被拜登选为他的竞选搭档和潜在的副总统。
Biden was quick to hold a virtual press conference to discuss his decision, and people were very excited to talk about it. Take a look.
拜登很快召开了一个虚拟的记者招待会，讨论他的决定，人们对此非常兴奋。看看吧。
Hey, folks, thanks for joining me on your Zoom boxes. I'm sure you're all buzzing like a honey pot to talk about Kamala.
嘿，伙计们，谢谢大家，参加我是...我的Zoom招待会，我相信你们都像蜜罐一样嗡嗡叫着谈论卡玛拉。
You know, I'm thrilled to announce her as my running mate and can't wait for all the excitement and experience she brings to the team.
你知道，我很高兴宣布她为我的竞选伙伴，我迫不及待地想知道她给团队带来的兴奋和经验。
But before I.. Mr. Vice President, what are Kamala's plans for the country once she gets into the White House?
但在我之前。。副总统先生，卡马拉入主白宫后对国家有什么计划？
Well, uh... Kamala and I will work together, hand in hand, in the White House to restore the soul of this nation.
嗯，嗯嗯...卡马拉和我将在白宫携手合作，重建这个国家的灵魂。
Mr. Vice President, how does it feel to be reaching this exciting moment in your campaign? Kamala Harris, wow.
副总统先生，在你们的竞选活动中，到达这个激动人心的时刻感觉如何？卡玛拉·哈里斯，哇。
Well, you know, I thought we were running a pretty exciting campaign before this, but..
嗯，你知道，我以为我们在这之前进行了一场非常激动人心的竞选活动，但是。。
That's all. Okay. Excuse me, Mr. Biden? I have a foreign-policy question. Yeah, now we're talkin'.
这就是全部。可以。打扰一下，拜登先生？我有一个外交政策问题。是啊，我们正在谈论。
Has Kamala asked about me? Asked about you? No. How is that a foreign-policy question?
卡玛拉问过我吗？问起你了？不，这怎么算是外交政策问题？
Oh, I was just hoping to take a trip with her. All right, come on. Vice President Biden, when you are the president... Thank you.
哦，我只是想和她一起去旅行。好吧，来吧。副总统拜登，当你是总统的时候。。。谢谢您。
I think Kamala Harris is amazing and inspiring. Is that a question? I think Kamala Harris is amazing and inspiring? Okay.
我觉得卡玛拉·哈里斯很了不起，很鼓舞人心。这是个问题吗？我觉得卡玛拉·哈里斯很了不起，很鼓舞人心？嗯嗯。
Is Kamala nice in person? Geez. Yes, she's very, very nice. Knew it. You can just tell. Very kind eyes.
卡玛拉本人好吗？天哪。是的，她非常非常好。晓得的，你可以看得出来，很善良的眼睛。
I have a question, mister..mister... Oh, my God. What was your name again? Joe Biden. Of course..Jim.
我有个问题，先生..先生。。。哦，天哪。你叫什么名字？乔·拜登。当然...吉姆。
My question is, is Kamala here? No, she's not. Aww! But I can send a link to her virtual speech in the chat. Yay! All right.
我的问题是，卡玛拉在吗？不，她不在。哦！但我可以在虚拟的聊天链接给她。耶！好吧。
Does anyone have a question that is not about Kamala Harris? I do. Great. Shoot. How is Barack Obama doing? Seriously? And follow-up question..
有没有人有一个不是关于卡马拉·哈里斯的问题？我有，太好了，问吧，奥巴马怎么样了？你说啥？以及后续问题。。
Do you think you would ever want to be the Vice President again? Maybe, like, next? Okay, th-th-that's enough.
你觉得你还会想当副总统吗？也许，下一个？好吧，够了。
I'm excited to have Kamala running beside me in this campaign, and we will work together, with me as the president and Kamala Harris as the vice president.
我很高兴在这次竞选中卡马拉能和我并肩作战，我们将一起努力，我是总统，卡马拉·哈里斯是副总统。
And that's how it's going to go, okay? Okay. Madam President! Madam President!
事情就是这样的，好吗？可以。总统女士！总统女士！
I..I think you're confused, Jack. No, I'm just practicing. But...It's..
我觉得你很困惑，杰克。不，我只是在练习。但是...
This is..I know people are excited about Kamala. Yay! Biden. Kamala. Yay! All right, heck, I'm almost taking this personal here.
我知道人们对卡玛拉很兴奋。耶！拜登。卡马拉。耶！好吧，见鬼，我几乎要把这件事当成私人的了。
Listen, at the end of the day, I suppose old Joe should take it as a compliment. I believe in this woman,
听着，归根结底，我想老乔应该把它当作一种恭维。我相信这个女人，
even if she handed me my rear at the debates. And together, we can accomplish anything.
即使她在辩论会上对我不屑一顾。我们可以一起完成任何事情。
Thank you all for coming. I do have to go. I am late for another engagement. Thank you all for coming.
谢谢大家的参与。我得走了。我的另一个约会迟到了。谢谢大家的参与。
How do you get off this thing? Ah, hell. Well, that was interesting. Well, guys, here's some big news.
你怎么摆脱这件事？啊，见鬼。嗯，那很有趣。好吧，伙计们，有个大新闻。
It was announced today that there's a new vaccine to treat the coronavirus. Sort of.
今天宣布有一种治疗冠状病毒的新疫苗。某种程度上。
Breaking news this morning, Vladimir Putin claiming Russia has developed and approved the world's first coronavirus vaccine,
今天早上的突发新闻，普京声称俄罗斯已经开发并批准了世界上第一种冠状病毒疫苗，
a claim that is being met with heavy skepticism, despite Putin announcing his own daughter is among the first to receive a dose.
尽管普京宣布自己的女儿是首批接受治疗的人之一，但这一说法仍遭到严重质疑。
That's right. Russia now claims to have a coronavirus vaccine, which is great. Cause if there's one thing I know about Russia, they never lie about drug tests.
没错，俄罗斯现在宣称拥有冠状病毒疫苗，这很好。因为如果我对俄罗斯有一点了解的话，他们从不在药物测试上撒谎。
Oh, no. Vladimir Putin defended the new vaccine. He was like, Don't worry. Just like upcoming U.S. election, results are totally legitimate.
哦，不，普京为新疫苗辩护。他说，别担心。就像即将到来的美国大选一样，选举结果是完全合法的。
That's right, the new COVID vaccine has been approved by four out of five Russian scientists.
没错，俄罗斯科学家中有五分之四的人已经批准了新的冠状病毒疫苗。
And in a related story, one out of five Russian scientists are now missing. What did you say?
在一个相关的报道中，五分之一的俄罗斯科学家失踪。你说什么？
