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Thank you so much for tuning in and watching our show. My name is Jimmy Fallon.
谢谢观看今天的节目，我是吉米。
That is The Roots right there. This is The Roots.
他们是紫金乐队，他们是紫金乐队。
I saw your face light up when you heard Higgins say Buju Banton. Yeah. Yeah.
当你听到希金斯说班顿时，我看到你脸上露出了笑容。嗯嗯，嗯嗯。
Very excited about that. Alright, let's get to the news and jokes right now.
对此非常兴奋。好吧，现在我们来看看新闻和笑话吧。
Guys, the Democratic National Convention continued tonight, but everyone's still talking about Michelle Obama's speech.
各位，民主党全国代表大会今晚继续，但大家仍然在谈论米歇尔·奥巴马的演讲。
She really brought the heat, especially when she used President Trump's own words against him. Watch this.
她真的带来了热度，尤其是她用特朗普总统自己的话来对付他。看这个。
Donald Trump is the wrong president for our country.
唐纳德·特朗普是我们国家的错误总统。
He has had more than enough time to prove that he can do the job, but he is clearly in over his head.
他已经有足够的时间来证明他能胜任这项工作，但他显然有点力不从心。
He cannot meet this moment. He simply cannot be who we need him to be for us.
他现在无法面对这个时刻，他不可能成为我们所需要的人。
It is what it is. Ooh! At that point, Trump squeezed his Diet Coke hand so hard, it turned into a diamond. I'm serious.
这就是事实。哦！这时，特朗普死攥着拿着健怡可口可乐的手，并把它变成了钻石，真的。
Right after that, a doctor took Trump's blood pressure, and the cuff exploded.
就在那之后，一名医生给特朗普量了血压，袖口爆炸了。
I always get scared of those machines at CVS, cause I don't necessarily trust that they know what they're doing, the robots.
我总是害怕CVS药店的那些机器，因为我不一定相信他们知道自己在做什么，机器人。
Wait. You take that test? Yeah, I'm bored. I'm waiting. What am I supposed to do? I got to..
等一下，你参加那个检测了？是的，我很无聊。我在等。我该怎么办？我得。。
You know, like, they sell.. You can just get your own machine. I don't want to have more stuff.
你知道，比如说，他们卖...你可以自己弄台机器。我不想有更多的东西。
I don't need more stuff. CVS has a giant one with the arm sleeve. And it's like, I'm the guy in the mall that gets, you know, massaged in the chair.
我不需要更多的东西，CVS药店有一个特别大的，而且还有袖口的那种，很像我是那个坐在药店椅子上，然后接受按摩的人。
While they shop. That's me, yeah. Yeah, stick your arm in...Aah!
当他们购物的时候。是我，没错，没错，把你的胳臂伸进去，啊啊。
No, I just...It kept going. And it was like... And then you're like, This could be broke.
不，我只是...机器还在运转，很像是...然后你说，机器可能会坏。
And then...I mean, should my face be turning red? Like, how tight does this cuff...
然后...我的意思是，我的脸应该变红吗？比如，这个袖口有多紧....
How, like, accurate is my blood pressure? It's like, No, it's 8,624.
我的血压准确吗？好像，不，是8624。
That sounds like a good number. We don't have footage of the moment Trump heard Michelle Obama say,
听起来是个不错的数字。我们没有特朗普听到米歇尔·奥巴马说的那一刻的录像，
It is what it is, but I imagine it resembled something like this. Nooooo!
事实就是这样，但我想它很像这样。哦哦...哦哦哦...
Yeah, that's right...everyone is saying the former First Lady stole the night.
是的，没错.....大家都说前第一夫人抢了风头。
I'm actually worried the speech might have backfired for Biden, because right after, everyone with a ballot wrote in Michelle Obama.
实际上，我很担心这次演讲可能会对拜登产生适得其反的影响，因为在那之后，每个有选票的人都会写上米歇尔·奥巴马。
Well, this morning, while at an event for the 100th anniversary of the 19th Amendment,
今天早上，在第十九修正案100周年纪念活动上，
Trump was asked about Michelle Obama's speech, and here's what he had to say. Listen to this.
特朗普被问及米歇尔·奥巴马的演讲，以下是他说的话，听听。
Oh, yeah. That's a good comeback. Trump said, She was...You're in over your head.
哦，是的。这是一个很好的复出，你真的让人无法理解。
That was her insult against you. You can't use her insult. Every third grader who can't go back to school knows you can't do that.
那是她对你的侮辱。你不能用她的侮辱。每一个不能回学校的三年级学生都知道你不能这样做。
Oh, and did you hear about this? At the same event for the 19th Amendment, Trump decided to make a surprise announcement. Check it out.
哦，你听说了吗？在第十九修正案的同一个活动中，特朗普发表了惊人的言论，来看看。
Later today, I will be signing a full and complete pardon for Susan B. Anthony. Yeah. There's...Wait, what?
今天晚些时候，我将签署一份全面彻底的赦免书，赦免苏珊·布朗奈尔·安东尼，等一下，啥？
There's no bigger champion for women than the man who spent his morning rage-tweeting about Michelle Obama.
对于女性来说，最伟大的冠军莫过于那个在推特上大发雷霆的米歇尔·奥巴马。
Trump pardoned Susan B. Anthony, who died in 1906. He was like, Sadly, she died in 1906 from the Spanish flu of 1917,
特朗普赦免了1906年去世的苏珊·布朗奈尔·安东尼，他就像，不幸的是，她在1906年死于1917年的西班牙流感，
right at the end of World War II, which, of course, was in 1969. Yep, Trump pardoned Susan B. Anthony.
就在第二次世界大战结束时，那当然是在1969年。是的，特朗普赦免了苏珊·布朗奈尔·安东尼。
Then he complained that she didn't thank him.
然后他抱怨她没有感谢他。
