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第152期 我难过的是我无法再信任你了

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Hi and welcome back. In the previous episode, we talked to TJ about truth and lying. But we still havn’t get into different philosopher and their different attitude towards lie. Today we are going to continue this topic.

What about criminals or cheating?Obviously these things they are very serious and people clearly know what's right and what's wrong. But let's get back to something that's perhaps less serious and a lot of people actually do this. It's lying on your CV. Would you ever do that?Because that is consequentialism by writing something that you probably don't have on your CV, you give a better impression then you have a better chance of getting the job offer.

Right. So I always think that's a difference between the ... and lying, so to brag, to make yourself look good, I try and write things in the fanciest way possible to make myself look like I should get the job, but I still always try to stop short of actually misrepresenting the truth. I just try and make the truth look as nice as possible.

It's the difference between. . .

It sounds like a fine line.

It is, like the same with the photographs, right?Obviously when you take a picture of yourself, you want to look good, you try to smile in the right way.

But then if you go on completely change and make your eyes 10 times bigger than they are, then that seems to be like a lie rather than just a slight. . . trying to make the truth look as nice as possible.

I still think that's the fine line. So for example, like you use photoshop, you use filter to what extent would you consider it to be a lie instead of a brag or exaggeration?

I don't think you have to ask me, I think you can just ask anybody who's been on an online date.

They go and meet somebody and they've seen the pictures and then they see them for the first time. Ask them if they feel lied to when they see that person.

That's a very good way of putting it. You really make philosophy come alive.

The first perspective is Kant say you should never ever lie, and this is the second perspective saying you lie if you think you can get good consequences, good results, right?What about white lies?

White lies are interesting and I think that probably the most common type of lie I think, where we just lie because it's a little bit convenient to lie.

Exactly.

Small lie.

It's like we don't want to, for example, we're tired we are ready to enjoy a glass of wine and then have an early night and then our friends call us and say, Lulu do you wanna meet up, TJ do you wanna meet up?

And then you say, I'm not feeling well or I have a headache, that is lying, but it's not really that serious.

It depends on who you ask but I think Nietzsche he would say those kind of lies are noble lies. They're not lies that we do for someone else often when we tell these white lies, we do it for ourselves because we're weak or we don't have the right ability. So when you say to your friend I have a headache. That's just because you're afraid what they will say if you tell them I'm ready for bed.

You're afraid to reject them.

Right! You're afraid of what happened.

And it's also this. . . you know the very typical white lie is between husband and wife, a boyfriend and girlfriend, and usually it's like do I look fat in this dress?And then there's only one right answer even if they think you look fat in this dress, they will have to say no, honey, no, not at all, that is by Nietzsche, white lie or noble lie, right?Because you are protecting yourself. Not so much as in protecting your wife or girlfriend.

So he has two ideas, one is that you're just too weak too afraid to tell the truth; and the other one is that you don't have the ability to lie. Lying takes up a lot of energy to think about the details of the lie, why she looks nice in the dress and once you start lying, it creates a very big web of things that you have to do.

Sometimes we can tell the truth because we are weak as well.

That’s so confusing, let's not get into that. Let's just stick with the week, so it's more like for your own general interest. So it's more about protecting your interest, not necessarily looking out for other people’s best interest.

Yeah, so sometimes it's more about being afraid or being a coward than it is about the lie.

So it's not as noble as you think. Interesting. So these are three different attitudes, three different perspectives when it comes to lying. Theoretical things aside, TJ let me ask you, you said you have never lied, but have you ever told a noble or white lie to protect yourself to, for example, have you ever told a noble lie or white lie to a girlfriend saying things like, oh you look great in that dress when you actually thought they did not look great.

I have to admit that I have, sometimes told a lie like that, but I do like to ‘er’ on the side of truth. So to make an error on the side of truth, that I will often tell if I have a girlfriend, I will often tell them that I think that something looks good or bad because then I think it makes the compliments mean more that they know if 9 times out of 10, I say I think you look very good and 1 time out of 10 I say I don't think that looks good on you, then they know those nine times are real. If it's always good, then they don't know if it's real or not I guess.

Then it's just a meaningless compliment.


Right! Truth brings meaning I think. But too much truth brings too much meaning.

That's true, home truths can be hurtful. But I do agree with your attitude when it comes to if you try to be honest, then compliments mean more.

When it comes to me my cooking, if I ask my family members, whether they like my cooking, I really want their honest opinion, not just saying it's good. I want them to actually pinpoint the parts that I can improve next time.

Em. . And there is a great quote from Nietzsche: When you find out a lie, then it makes things very uncomfortable. He says I'm not upset that you lied to me. I'm upset that I can't trust you any more. I can't believe you in the future. I think that's a really key point for me about lying, that you destroied those relationships.

Yes, you destroied the trust.

So that is perhaps the key ethics behind lies, it’s not just about the lie itself, but it's about what it will destroy once it comes out, once the truth comes out, very philosophical and actually very relevant.

So thank you. I think we're gonna wrap up here and thank you TJ for coming to the show. I'm sure our audience have a lot to say about truth and lying. So what would you consider to be a lie, and have you ever told lies before and I'm sure you have, so share with us your comments in the comment section. Thank you TJ for coming to the show again.

No problem my pleasure.

See you next time. Bye.

Bye.


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quote [kwəut]

想一想再看

n. 引用
v. 引述,举证,报价

联想记忆
filter ['filtə]

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n. 筛选,滤波器,过滤器,滤色镜
v. 过滤

联想记忆
compliment ['kɔmplimənt]

想一想再看

n. 称赞,恭维,(复数)致意
vt. 称赞,

联想记忆
ethics ['eθiks]

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n. 道德规范

联想记忆
exaggeration [ig.zædʒə'reiʃən]

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n. 夸张,夸大

 
coward ['kauəd]

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n. 懦夫
adj. 胆小的
Cow

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stick [stik]

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n. 枝,杆,手杖
vt. 插于,刺入,竖起<

 
typical ['tipikəl]

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adj. 典型的,有代表性的,特有的,独特的

 
perspective [pə'spektiv]

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n. 远景,看法,透视
adj. 透视的

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relevant ['relivənt]

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adj. 相关的,切题的,中肯的

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