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A lot of people who grew up in the 70s and 80s and then had children looked around at their kids' clothes and toys and said, 'I don't remember the pink Big Wheel thing.
很多在七八十年代长大、后来有了孩子的人看着他们孩子的衣服和玩具说，‘我不记得以前有粉色的大轮子。
I feel like I just had the same Big Wheel as my brother. Or we shared one.
我记得我和哥哥有一样的大轮子。或者我们共用一个轮子。
And when did this happen that we divided everything into pink and blue?'
我们什么时候开始把所有东西分成粉色和蓝色的?”
In the 19th and early 20th century, kids were often playing with the same things.
在19世纪和20世纪初，孩子们经常玩的都是一样的东西。
But as the fields of psychology and sexology expand, the idea that you can make a kid gay, a boy gay,
但随着心理学和性学领域的扩展，通过让孩子接触那些被视为女性化的东西，
by letting him access what's seen as feminine starts taking hold and there becomes an idea that parents should raise their little boys to be men,
你可以把一个小孩变成同性恋，一个男孩变成同性恋的观念开始形成，所以父母应该把他们的小男孩培养成男人，
to be straight men and teach them early how to be men. And we see that in the toys.
做个性取向正常的男人，早点教他们如何成为男人。我们可以在玩具中看到这一点。
And so in the 1920s as this idea is taking hold in our society, you start getting, like Erector sets for boys and they're marketed specifically to boys that are saying,
在20世纪20年代，随着这个想法在我们的社会中站稳脚跟，开始有了Erector这种专为男孩设计的玩具，它表明
'This will teach little Johnny how to be good at building things.'
“这能教会小约翰尼如何擅长造东西。”
And you start getting sets of toy brooms and mops for girls that'll say, 'Every girl wants to be a housewife and if you buy this toy for her, she can learn early how to do it.'
你还会给女孩买玩具扫帚和拖把，它表明，‘每个女孩都想成为家庭主妇，如果你给她买这个玩具，她可以早点学会如何做家务。’
And it's very outright and very specific about here's a toy that will teach you your gender role.
那是非常直接和具体的玩具，它会告诉你你的性别角色。
And what happens over the next hundred years is we start believing that all that is biological and that boys really want those construction sets and girls really want the toy brooms.
在接下来的一百年里，我们开始相信所有这些都有生物学原因，男孩是真的喜欢那些建筑组合，女孩是真的喜欢玩具扫帚。
But we no longer have a culture in which we treat them equitably or we mark things as gender neutral,
但我们不再有平等对待她们的文化，也不再用性别中立去标记事物，
so we don't have any way of knowing what kids would want if there was no stigma attached.
所以如果没有耻辱标签的话，我们无法知道孩子们到底想要什么。
So dividing the toys up like that and then saying, oh my kid just wanted that, when everywhere those kids have seen the messages about what they should and shouldn't want,
像这样把玩具分类，然后说，哦，我的孩子就是想要这个，当孩子们随处都能看到他们应该不应该要什么东西的信息时，
really reinforces not only the divisions of who gets to develop what skill, but also our ideas that this is somehow natural and biological.
这不仅强化了我们对谁能发展什么技能的划分，而且也强化了我们认为这就是自然和生物学规律的观点。
A great example of how masculinity is valued in both boys and girls and femininity is devalued in both boys and girls
有一个很好的例子可以说明男子气概在男孩和女孩身上都受到重视，而女性特质在男孩和女孩身上都被贬低，
is what some psychologists call the PFD to tomboy phase, which is 'pink frilly dress' to tomboy phase.
那就是一些心理学家所说的PFD到假小子阶段，也就是“粉红褶边裙子”到假小子阶段。
And they find that these girls often go through an intense princess phase from ages three to six,
他们发现，这些女孩通常会在三岁到六岁期间经历很强烈的公主期，
and then between six and eight you start hearing a lot of girls saying,
然后在6到8岁之间，你开始听到很多女孩说，
'I hate pink, I don't want to wear dresses anymore,' and a lot of parents celebrate that.
“我讨厌粉色，我再也不想穿裙子了，”很多父母都为之庆贺。
Yay, the princess phase is so gross, I'm so happy we're out of it.
耶，公主期太恶心了，我们终于过了那个阶段。
But what they've discovered, what these psychologists discovered was that that is actually a moment of girls realizing that what's marked as feminine is devalued
但他们发现，这些心理学家发现之所以出现这种情况，是因为女孩们意识到被标记为女性化的东西受到了贬低，
and so they're distancing themselves from it to prop themselves up higher on the ladder.
所以她们会与之保持距离，以便让自己拥有更高的地位。
And boys don't go through a phase like that where they turn six and they start saying, I hate pants, I hate sports, and I want to wear pink glitter dresses all the time, right?
男孩不会经历这样的阶段，在他们6岁的时候，他们不会说，我讨厌裤子，我讨厌运动，我想一直穿粉色闪光的裙子，对吧?
That's not happening. In fact, they become more rigid in their gender choices.
他们并不会这样。事实上，他们在性别选择上变得更加严格。
So they are also realizing, Oh, that stuff that's feminine is devalued and I need to separate myself from it as much as possible.
因为他们也意识到，哦，女性化的东西被贬低了，我要让自己尽可能离那些东西远一点。
That was so sad to me because when we divide things into pink and blue, not just the colors,
这让我很难过，因为当我们把东西分成粉色和蓝色时，不仅仅是颜色，
but these personality traits like girls are like this and boys are like this, and girls are sweet and sedentary and boys are rowdy and mean,
而是这些性格特征，比如女孩是这样的，男孩是这样的，女孩是甜美的、不爱动的，男孩是粗暴的、刻薄的，
and girls like dolls and boys like action figures, which by the way are the exact same thing.
女孩喜欢洋娃娃，男孩喜欢动作玩偶，顺便说一下，其实它们是完全一样的东西。
You know, when we start dividing stuff up like that, kids don't feel like they can access what's on both sides, but it's actually really important for them to do so.
当我们开始像那样把东西分类时，孩子们会觉得他们无法接触到两类东西，但这对他们来说真的很重要。
And it's especially important for boys to feel like they can access what's on that pink side of the pink-blue divide,
尤其重要的是，要让男孩觉得他们可以了解粉蓝分界线的粉色这一边的东西，
because what's over there is being kind and respectful and conscientious and other-centered and empathetic, you know, just basic human qualities that you would want any human being to have.
因为那代表着善良、尊重、认真、以他人为中心、善解人意，这是我们希望任何人都具备的基本人类品质。
And they feel like they can't access them because they're marked as for girls.
他们觉得自己无法接触到这些东西，因为它们被贴上了“女孩”的标签。
So I feel like we're obsessed with gender and we're obsessed with gender identity and we're obsessed with pronouns.
所以我觉得我们痴迷于性别，我们痴迷于性别认同，我们痴迷于那些代名词。
And some of that is really wonderful and making more space for people.
其中一些真的很棒，为人们创造了更多的空间。
But when it comes to children, what I am talking about is gendering their childhoods less,
但就孩子而言，我想说的是减少对他们童年的性别划分，
is just giving them more room and living in the ambiguous place and being comfortable there as you wait to see who your child becomes.
给他们更多的空间，让他们在不确定的模糊地带去体验，让他们感觉舒适，看他们将来会成为什么样的人。
