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周六夜现场编剧乔斯特寄语2020毕业生的演讲(2)

来源:可可英语 编辑:sara   可可英语APP下载 |  可可官方微信:ikekenet

Don't google someone you're starting to date.

不要用谷歌搜索你要约会的人。

Don't google them. Don't stalk them on social media.

不要搜索,不要在社交媒体上跟踪他们。

It's creepy to learn about someone on the Internet before you learn about them in person.

在你当面了解某人之前,先在网上找有关他们的信息,这令人感到毛骨悚然。

There's no mystery, there's no romance.

没有了神秘感,也不浪漫。

I mean, if I had googled someone in advance, I never would have spent three wonderful years with Carole Baskin.

我的意思是,如果我事先在谷歌上搜索某人的信息,我就永远不会和卡罗尔·巴斯金一起度过美好的三年。

If someone tells you, "I'm a self-made man," that person is probably on the verge of a psychotic breakdown.

如果有人告诉你,“我是个独力奋斗的男人”,那人很可能要精神崩溃了。

Especially since he just yelled, "I'm a self-made man!" out of the window of a 1995 Buick.

特别是当他从一辆95年的别克车窗朝外喊:“我是个独力奋斗的男人!”

Notice, by the way, it's always a self-made man.

注意,顺便说一句,总是独力奋斗的男人。

You've never heard the phrase, "I'm a self-made woman."

从来没听过“我是独力奋斗的女人。”

Because women give other people credit, and men are like, "It was pretty much just me."

因为女人会把功劳归给别人,而男人则会说,“那几乎都是我的功劳。”

Everyone needs help in life.

生活中每个人都需要帮助。

No one is self-made, but many people are self-sabotaged.

没有人是独力奋斗的,但很多人是自毁的。

That actually only takes one.

实际上这只需要一个人就能做到。

Never, ever buy something with a credit card that you cannot immediately pay off.

永远不要用信用卡买你不能马上还清的东西。

Never. No excuses.

决不这么干,不要找借口。

Don't be like, "Oh, I had to get this. It was so important."

别这样说,“哦,我得买这个,它太重要了。”

No one's ever putting vegetables on their credit card.

信用卡不会自己生出钱来。

Treat a credit card like a debit card.

把信用卡当作借记卡。

It is money immediately out of your pocket.

是马上能从口袋里掏出来的钱。

However, do get a credit card as soon as possible.

不过,尽快办张信用卡。

Because our entire credit system in America is a gigantic scam.

因为美国的整个信用体系都是一个巨大的骗局。

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You need to have credit in order to get credit.

你需要有信用,才能获得信用。

So, get a credit card, put it on a shelf somewhere.

所以,办张信用卡,把它放起来。

Don't charge anything to it so that 20 years from now, a bank will let you buy a house.

不要给它充钱,这样20年后,银行会让你买房子的。

I don't really know what that means.

我并不知道这是什么意思。

I just came up with that line, and I thought it was kind of catchy.

我刚想到的那句话,觉得它朗朗上口。

So, get out there, and change the world because you know what they say,

所以,走出去,改变世界,因为你知道他们所说的,

"The best way to predict the future is to invent it."

“预测未来的最好方法就是去创造它。”

I think that should be the new slogan for Apple, or maybe toilet paper.

我认为这应该是苹果的新口号,或者是给卫生纸用。

Success will be your greatest revenge against bullies.

成功将是你对仗势欺人者最大的报复。

Second place, filling their apartment with murder hornets.

第二种方法是,在他们的公寓里放满杀人蜂。

And my final piece of advice is, advice is really hard to follow.

最后一条建议是,真的很难遵循建议。

You can't understand advice until you've already gone through the thing that someone is giving you advice about.

除非你已经经历过别人给你建议的事情,否则你无法理解建议。

We all hear good advice. We ignore that advice.

我们都听到过好的建议,然后把它忽视了。

Then we look back and say, "That was actually a good advice.

后来,回望过去时会说,“这真是个好建议。

I should have listened to that the first time." That's how advice works.

我应该第一次听到时就听从这个建议。”建议就是这么起作用的。

It's mainly so the person giving the advice can someday say, "I told you so."

大多数情况下,提建议的人有朝一日会说,“我告诉过你的。”

So, congratulations to the Class of 2020.

祝贺2020届的毕业生。

I have a really good feeling about you guys.

我真的觉得你们很棒。

And I rarely say that to a group of three million high school seniors.

我很少对300万高中生这么说。

Good luck, and be great, and remember, "The best way to predict the future is to invent it."

祝你们好运,做个有出息的人,记住:“预测未来的最好方法就是去创造它。”

God, who came up with that?

天哪,谁想出的这句话?

重点单词   查看全部解释    
mystery ['mistəri]

想一想再看

n. 神秘,秘密,奥秘,神秘的人或事物

 
stalk [stɔ:k]

想一想再看

n. 茎,梗
n. 跟踪,高视阔步

联想记忆
social ['səuʃəl]

想一想再看

adj. 社会的,社交的
n. 社交聚会

 
predict [pri'dikt]

想一想再看

v. 预知,预言,预报,预测

联想记忆
revenge [ri'vendʒ]

想一想再看

n. 报仇,报复,复仇愿望,获得满足的机会
v

联想记忆
invent [in'vent]

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vt. 发明,创造,捏造

联想记忆
credit ['kredit]

想一想再看

n. 信用,荣誉,贷款,学分,赞扬,赊欠,贷方

联想记忆
phrase [freiz]

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n. 短语,习语,个人风格,乐句
vt. 措词

联想记忆
slogan ['sləugən]

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n. 标语,口号

 
psychotic [sai'kɔtik]

想一想再看

adj. 精神病的 n. 精神病患者

联想记忆

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