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STRIFE.
争吵
Monday, 26th.
周一，二十六日。
However, it is not out of envy, because he got the prize and I did not, that I quarrelled with Coretti this morning. It was not out of envy. But I was in the wrong. The teacher had placed him beside me, and I was writing in my copy-book for calligraphy; he jogged my elbow and made me blot and soil the monthly story, _Blood of Romagna_, which I was to copy for the little mason, who is ill. I got angry, and said a rude word to him. He replied, with a smile, "I did not do it intentionally." I should have believed him, because I know him; but it displeased me that he should smile, and I thought:--
今天我和可莱谛相骂，并不是因为他受了奖品而嫉妒他，只是我的过失。我坐在他的近旁，正誊写这次每月例话《洛马格那的血》，——因为“小石匠”病了，我替他誊写。——他碰了一下我的臂膀，墨水把纸弄污了。我骂了他，他却微笑着说：“我不是故意如此的罗。”我是知道他的品格的，照理应该信任他，不再与他计较。可是他的微笑实在使我不快，我想：
"Oh! now that he has had a prize, he has grown saucy!" and a little while afterwards, to revenge myself, I gave him a jog which made him spoil his page. Then, all crimson with wrath, "You did that on purpose," he said to me, and raised his hand: the teacher saw it; he drew it back. But he added:--
“这家伙受了奖品，就像煞有介事了哩！”于是忍不住也在他的臂膀上撞了一下，把他的习字帖也弄污了。可莱谛涨红了脸：“你是故意的！”说着擎起手来。恰巧先生把头回过来了，他缩住了手，
"I shall wait for you outside!" I felt ill at ease; my wrath had simmered away; I repented. No; Coretti could not have done it intentionally. He is good, I thought. I recalled how I had seen him in his own home; how he had worked and helped his sick mother; and then how heartily he had been welcomed in my house; and how he had pleased my father. What would I not have given not to have said that word to him; not to have insulted him thus! And I thought of the advice that my father had given to me: "Have you done wrong?"--"Yes."--"Then beg his pardon." But this I did not dare to do; I was ashamed to humiliate myself. I looked at him out of the corner of my eye, and I saw his coat ripped on the shoulder,--perhaps because he had carried too much wood,--and I felt that I loved him; and I said to myself, "Courage!" But the words, "excuse me," stuck in my throat. He looked at me askance from time to time, and he seemed to me to be more grieved than angry. But at such times I looked malevolently at him, to show him that I was not afraid.
“我在外面等着你！”我难过了起来，怒气消了，觉得实在是自己不好。可莱谛不会故意做那样的事的，他本是好人。同时记起自己到可莱谛家里去望过他，把可莱谛在家劳动，服侍母亲的病的情形，以及他到我家里来的时候大家欢迎他，父亲看重他的事情，都一一记忆起来。自己想：我不说那样的话，不做那样对不住人的事，多么好啊！又想到父亲平日教训我的话来：“你觉得错了，就立刻谢罪！”可是谢罪总有些不情愿，觉得那样屈辱的事，无论如何是做不到的。我把眼睛向可莱谛横去，见他上衣的肩部已破了，大概是多背了柴的缘故吧。我见了这个，觉得可莱谛可爱。自己对自己说：“渐呀！谢罪吧！”但是口里总说不出“对你不起”的话来。可莱谛时时把眼斜过来看我，他那神情好像不是怒恼我，倒似在怜悯我呢。但是我因为要表示不怕他，仍用白眼回答他。
