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Hey Psych2Goers, and welcome back.
嘿，psych2go的家族成员们，欢迎回来！
Thank you so much for your immense love and support, enabling us to make yet another exploration into everyday psychology.
非常感谢你们无尽的爱和支持，让我们能够对日常心理学再一次进行探索。
So, let's begin, shall we? Have you ever had a sneaking suspicion that someone might be trying to get the upper hand?
那么，我们开始吧？你曾经是否暗自怀疑过某人在试图压迫你？
Do you only hear from that one friend of yours only when they need something? Does your supervisor often push you to stay that extra hour?
你有没有那种只在他们需要帮助的时候才会出现的朋友？你的上司是否会经常逼迫你多加班一个小时？
Perhaps it's even your partner who insists you buy them that new makeup kit they've been eyeing?
或许，甚至是你的伴侣会坚持让你给她们买她们一直关注的新出的化妆包？
No matter the relation being used by someone is downright outrageous.
不管利用什么关系做自己的事情都是无耻至极的行为。
We here at Psych2Go understand that it's hurtful, and we want to remind you Psych2Goers of your worth.
观看Psych2Go的朋友们，我们知道这是一种伤害，我们想提醒Psych2Go的观众要知道自己的价值。
It's important to remember that you're not responsible for the actions of others, but you are in full control of how you react to them.
你不必为别人的行为负责，但你完全可以控制自己应对他们的方式。记住这点很重要。
So, here are eight signs that someone might be using you.
所以，下面是某人可能在利用你的8种迹象。
Number one, they're only there if they need something.
第一，他们只有在需要的时候才会出现。
Do you have a classmate or a colleague who only reaches out to you when they need help completing an assignment or for other favors?
你是否有过这样的同学或同事，他们只在需要你帮忙完成任务或其他帮助时才会联系你？
If so, you were successfully used by them. And no, there is no other way to put it.
如果是这样，那么他们已经成功地利用了你，没有什么其它说法，他就是在利用你。
You might also argue that humans are social animals and occasionally reaching out for help isn't always done with malicious intent.
你可能会争论说人类是群居动物，偶尔寻求帮助并不能说明他们怀有恶意。
True, but if it's happening more often than not, it might help to review your argument and their intent.
没错，但如果这种情况经常发生，那么请你再认真思考一下自己的观点和他们的意图。
The flip side to this is that when you're in the position to help others, they don't typically reciprocate the same support back.
另一方面，当你处在帮助别人的位置时，他们通常不会给予你同样的帮助。
Two, they don't follow through on promises.
第二，他们不遵守承诺。
Do they often go back on their own word? Are they the infamous more talk and less do type?
他们会经常说话不算数吗？他们是那种“只说不做”的人吗？
It can be frustrating to rely on someone only to have them not follow through with a promise.
你对他们有所期待而他们却并没有遵守承诺，这是令人沮丧的事情。
These patterns of activity are very damaging to relationships.
这种活动模式对人际关系是非常有害的。
The constant undermining of trust cements the fact that they see you as someone they can use. Ouch!
这种对信任的持续破坏巩固了这样一个事实，即他们认为你是可以利用的人。被伤到了！
Three, they make you watch what you say.
第三，他们让你注意自己的言行。
Do you find it hard to express yourself freely around someone in particular? Has it become increasingly difficult saying no to their request with time.
你有没有觉得在某人面前表达自己真实的想法很困难？有没有觉得自己越来越不会拒绝别人？
New York city's life coach Julie Melillo noted that this is due to the invisible power play position that we hold in such relationships.
来自纽约市的人生导师朱莉·梅利略指出，这是因为我们在这段关系中处于无形的被压迫的地位。
Users send messages that denying their request might spell doom for you. Melillo writes, "And this is how they manipulate you."
用户发送消息，拒绝他们的请求可能不会让你好过。梅里洛写道，“这就是他们操纵你的方式。”
Using fear as the tool to control is absolutely not healthy in any relationship.
在任何一段关系中，把恐惧当作控制的工具绝对是不健康的。
If you feel like you can't openly speak your mind around someone, they may have been using you.
如果你觉得自己无法在别人面前公开说出自己的想法，那么可能他们一直在利用你。
Number four, they always assume that you're paying.
第四，他们理所当然地认为你应该付钱。
Are you the only one to foot the bill when out with them? Do you do it by choice or has it always been expected so?
你和他们出去的时候是唯一一个会付钱的人吗？你是自愿这么做的，还是说他们期待你这么做？
Money's impact on relationships is truly a spectrum.
“金钱对人际关系的影响”确实是一个可圈可点的话题。
If they're always expecting you to cover expenses, small and large, they might be taking advantage of you financially.
如果他们总是希望你付钱，不管付多少，那么他们可能是在经济上利用你。
Number five, they're only nice when they need to be.
第五，他们只在需要的时候才会佯装友善。
Usually they look right over you, no?
通常他们会在你身边，并没有？
But wait, do they suffer from out of the blue bouts of clinginess and niceness to you? It's like you were best of buddies.
但是，等哈，他们是否有因为对你的过分依附和友好而饱受折磨？就好像你们是最好的朋友一样。
How someone reacts around you can say a lot about their personality.
如果你对某人了解甚深他们会如何反应。
Don't get us wrong, it's totally normal to notice fluctuations in behavior due to mood or circumstances.
不要误导我们，注意到由于情绪或环境而引起的行为波动是完全正常的。
But if you can think of someone in your life who only shoots you a smile when they need something yet are radio static otherwise, it might be a sign they're only out to use you.
但是，在你的生活中有没有这样一种人，他们只在需要什么的时候才会向你微笑，其他时候则对你冷漠如冰？这是一种迹象：他们只是在利用你。
Number six, your loved ones are worried.
第六，你爱的人会很担心。
"I told you so." This is the most dreaded phrase, right?
“早就跟你说过了。”这句话很可怕，有木有？
Friends and family tend to see past the blinders you have in your relationships.
朋友和家人往往会看穿你在人际关系中看不到的东西。
They notice subtleties that you don't pick up or dismiss altogether, entitling themselves to the luxury of that particular phrase.
他们往往会注意到那些你不会注意到或者会忽略的微妙的点，然后傲娇地跟你说：“我早就跟你说过了。”
If a family member or close friend has pointed out toxic or controlling behavior in your relationship with someone else, then it might be worth delving into further with your best interests at heart.
如果你的一个家庭成员或者亲密的朋友指出你和某人的关系中有不良的或者控制性行为，那么为了自己的利益着想，你有必要深入思考一下这段关系。
And their suggestions can help you see clearly.
他们的建议可以帮助你擦亮眼睛，看得更明白。
Number seven, they never say thank you.
第七，他们从来不说谢谢。
Do you constantly put them first with little or no gratitude expressed in return?
你是否总把他们放在第一位，却很少或者根本没有得到回报？
If you can count on one hand the number of times they've said thank you, stop right there.
如果他们说“谢谢”的次数用一只手就能数出来，那么你还这么傻干嘛。
It's hurtful, and a prime example of being used, period.
这很伤人，也是“被利用关系中”的一个典型的例子。
Not receiving gratitude after altruistic acts are not only damaging to relationships but may even lead to thinking that maybe your own actions weren't such a big deal after all.
在做出利他行为后没有受到感激不仅会损害人际关系，甚至可能会让你觉得自己的行为无足挂齿。
That they were expected. This can only lead you further down the dark road of manipulation.
他们期待被感激。这只会让你在操纵的黑暗道路上越走越远。
And number eight, you begin to dislike them.
第八，你开始讨厌他们。
To like or not to like? How many times have you faced this predicament? Did someone in particular come to mind?
喜欢还是不喜欢？这种问题你纠结过多少次了？有没有让你想到谁？
This is completely normal. As it helps us mold our lives into one that is healthy and ideal for us.
这很正常，因为它帮助我们把生活塑造成一种健康的、理想的生活。
But if you begin to feel resentment when you think about that certain someone, it's likely not for no reason.
但如果你一想到某个人就开始感到怨恨，那么这其中肯定是有原因的。
Dr. Kim Chronister, Psy.D. said that resentment is often accompanied in one sided relationships.
心理医生金正日·乔尼斯特说，“怨恨常常伴随着单方面的关系”。
Relationships are a two way street and similar care should be given to stop resentment from manifesting.
关系是双向的，如果给予了同样的关心，是不会产生怨恨的情绪的。
We are here to remind our community that everyone has the right to be treated with respect and love. Nobody deserves to feel used or taken advantage of.
我们在这里提醒大家，每个人都有得到尊重和爱的权利，没有谁活该被你利用。
If the signs remind you of someone's behavior towards you, fret not.
如果这些迹象能够让你想到某人对你的行为，不要担心。
Reviewing your relationship and confiding in your near dear ones might be a good place to start.
先认真理一下你们的关系，然后可以向最亲密的人诉说，这可能会是一个好的开始。
Do any of these signs describe someone you know? Let us know in the comments below.
你认识的人里有谁表现出了这种迹象吗？请在下面的评论区告诉我们。
If you found this video insightful be sure to hit the like and subscribe button and share it with unsuspecting friends to help free them from the talons of being used.
如果你觉得这个视频很有见地，一定要点赞和订阅，和真正的好朋友分享，帮助他们摆脱被人利用的魔爪。
Thanks for watching and we'll see you next time.
感谢收看，我们下期见。
