评论
打印
Hey psych2goers, and welcome back to another video.
嘿，大家好，欢迎来到下一个视频。
Your ongoing support has helped us on our mission to make psychology and mental health more accessible to everyone possible and we want to thank you for that.
大家一直以来的支持帮助我们完成了使命，让所有人都能更容易地学习心理学和心理健康，为此我们要感谢大家。
Now back to the video. Has anyone ever told you that you're too nice or that you're kind and generous to a fault?
现在回到视频。有没有人跟你说过你太好了，或者你太善良、太慷慨了？
Well, being an inherently nice person isn't a bad thing, there can be a problem when you're too nice for your own good.
做一个天生善良的人并不是一件坏事，但如果太过乐善好施就会出现问题。
You can be a little too selfless or too trusting or too self-sacrificing.
你可能有点太无私，太信任别人，或者太过自我牺牲。
If you're not careful, you can be easily fooled and manipulated, blinded by your own good nature.
如果你不小心，那你很容易被愚弄和操纵，被自己善良的本性蒙蔽。
Being too nice can hurt you in a lot of ways you may not have realized.
对别人太好也会在很多方面伤害你，你可能没有意识到。
Here are eight common struggles of people who are too nice for their own good.
下面是太过乐善好施的人具备的八种常见特征。
One, you don't know how to say no.
第一，你不知道如何拒绝别人。
Do you have a hard time turning your friends and family down no matter how tired or busy you are?
你是不是不管多累多忙都很难拒绝自己的朋友和家人？
When your friends ask for your help, you rush to their side without a second thought.
当你的朋友向你求助时，你会毫不犹豫冲到他们身边。
Or when a family member ask you to run some errands for them, you jump at the chance to lend a helping hand.
或者当家庭成员让你为他们跑腿时，你会毫不犹豫地伸出援助之手。
If you're sure you can find a way to fit all this into your already jam packed schedule somehow, you're too embarrassed to say no to anyone who asks you nicely.
如果你确信自己能在已经排满的日程表中找到办法完成这些事情，那么当别人善意地请求你时，你又会觉得不好意思拒绝。
Two, you attract the wrong kinds of people.
第二，你吸引了不合适的人。
Do you find it difficult to know for sure who you can trust? Have people manipulated you or exploited your kindness in the past?
你有没有觉得自己不知道该信任谁？过去是否有人操纵或利用过你的善良？
You may find yourself surrounded by lots of fair weathered friends who only stick around as long as they need something from you,
你可能会发现身边有许多饱经风霜的朋友，当他们需要你的时候，他们就会一直在你身边。
because the matter of the fact is, you can never really know if someone truly cares about you until you have nothing more to give to them.
因为事实是，除非你没有更多的东西可以给予，否则你无法真正知道一个人是否真的关心你。
Three, everyone keeps asking you for favors.
第三，大家都会找你帮忙。
Do your loved ones often turn to you for help, comfort or advice? Do you find yourself always trying to fix their problems or doing unwanted favors for them?
你爱的人经常向你寻求帮助、安慰或给你建议吗？你是否发现自己总是想要解决他们的问题或者做他们不想做的事情？
When you're a nice person, people feel comfortable asking for your help or telling you about their problems.
如果你是一个好人，别人在向你寻求帮助或向你倾诉自己的问题时会感到很自在。
And while it's certainly nice to be seen as supportive and dependable, it can quickly get tiring when everyone seems to want something from you, even people you barely know, or you're not even close to.
虽然别人觉得你可以信赖、依靠这一点很好，但如果每个人、甚至是你不怎么认识或者不怎么熟的人都想从你这里索取什么的话很快你就会感觉到疲惫。
Four, some people are suspicious of you.
第四，有些人对你持怀疑态度。
Have others asked you, why are you being so nice or what's in it for you?
有人会问你为什么要这么好，或者对你有什么好处？
Some people might be suspicious of you and misjudge your kind gestures as having ulterior motives behind them.
有些人可能会怀疑你，认为你的善意背后有不可告人的动机。
They think you're just too nice to be true and can find it hard to believe that someone else would be so polite, selfless and good-natured for no reason.
他们认为你太好了，不真实，很难相信其他人会如此礼貌、无私和善良。
Five, you're afraid to speak your mind.
第五，你不敢说出自己的想法。
Because you're usually so patient and easygoing with everyone, you're afraid to get upset, cry, or yell even when you have every right to.
因为你通常都很有耐心，和每个人都很随和，所以即使你有权这样做，你也不敢难过、哭或者大叫。
You don't want others' perception of you to change and you feel pressured to do what's expected of you.
你不想改变别人对你的看法，你感到有压力去做别人对你期望的事情。
You hold back on your emotions, are hesitant to assert yourself or share your opinions because you want to stay at the nice person everyone feels so fondly about.
你抑制住自己的情绪，犹豫着要不要坚持自己的主张或分享自己的观点，因为你想留在那个每个人都喜欢的人身边。
Six, you forgive people too easily.
第六，你太容易原谅别人。
When you're more softhearted, you tend to be too forgiving of others.
当你心软的时候，你往往会对别人过于宽容。
You trust people too easily, and you give second chances to those whom you shouldn't.
你太容易相信别人，你会给不该给的人第二次机会。
Even if they've hurt you or betrayed you in the past, you still can't help, but show them forgiveness because of how difficult it is for you to bear a grudge against them.
即使他们曾经伤害过你或背叛过你你也无能为力，只是会宽恕他们，因为你很难对他们心生恨意。
And while you know deep down inside that your kindness is better spent on more deserving people, you're still willing to see the good in others and give them the benefit of the doubt when they need it.
虽然你内心深处知道自己的善良最好花在更值得的人身上，但你仍会去看别人的优点，在他们需要的时候给予他们“无罪释放”。
Seven, you feel guilty putting yourself first.
第七，把自己放在第一位会让你感到内疚。
Do you struggle with feelings of guilt when you try to put yourself first?
当你试图把自己放在第一位的时候你的内心是否会挣扎、会有愧疚感？
There's so many things you want to do for yourself, but you just can't, unless you've taken care of the people you love first,
有那么多你想为自己做的事情，但你就是做不到，除非自己爱的人都先照顾好了，
even if it's something simple like turning down an invitation to go out in favor of getting much needed rest and relaxation.
即使是一些简单的事情，比如拒绝外出的邀请以获得急需的休息和放松。
It can be hard for an overly nice person to think of themselves for a change without feeling like they're doing something wrong.
对于一个过分友好的人来说，如果他不觉得自己做错了，那么他想要改变自己是很难的。
Eight, you forget to be nice to yourself.
第八，你忘了对自己好一点。
Do you find that you routinely put other's wants and needs before your own?
你有没有发现自己总是会把别人的需求放在自己的需求之前？
It's important to remember to take good care of yourself just as you care for others.
重要的是要记住，要像照顾别人一样照顾好自己。
And while it can be challenging to balance your time, energy, and attention between the ones you care about and yourself, you need to remember that you owe yourself the love you so freely give to others.
虽然在你关心的人和你自己之间平衡你的时间、精力和关注很难，但你要记住，你如此大方地给予别人的爱其实是你自己欠自己的。
If you're not careful, you may end up sacrificing all your effort, attention, and emotional wellbeing into relationships that aren't good for you or people who aren't worth it.
如果你不小心，你可能会把自己所有的努力、注意力和情感健康牺牲在对你不利的关系或不值得付出的人身上。
Set healthy boundaries for yourself. and don't be afraid to say no, every once in a while.
要为自己设定一条合理的界限。不要害怕说不，偶尔要说一次。
You deserve love and happiness too, just like everyone else.
你也应该得到爱和幸福，就像其他人一样。
Please like, and share this video if it helped you, and you think it could help someone else too.
如果这条视频对你有帮助，而且你觉得它也能帮助其他人，那么请点赞并分享该视频。
Don't forget to hit the subscribe button for more Psych2go videos. Thank you for watching, and we'll see you next time.
不要忘记点击订阅按钮观看更多Psych2go视频。感谢您的收看，我们下期见。
