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Hey, Psych2Go fam. Welcome back to another Psych2Go video.
嘿，大家好，欢迎回来。
Think about your ideal partner. Are they smart and funny? Do they look a certain way? Do they act a certain way? These traits are your deal makers.
想想你的理想伴侣。他们聪明有趣吗？他们看起来有什么特别之处吗？他们有特定的行为方式吗？这些特质就是你的“交易促成点”。
The qualities that attract you to another person. But you also have deal breakers, qualities that send you running for the hills.
这些特质吸引着你找到那个人，但是也有一些“交易破坏点”，这些点会让你落荒而逃。
According to a 2014 study by Joel and others, dating deal breakers have a larger impact than deal makers.
根据乔尔和其它人2014年的一项研究，约会中“交易破坏点”比“交易促成点”的影响更大。
In other words, the bad usually outweighs the good.
换句话说，坏事通常比好事多。
So here are seven dating deal breakers, you should be aware of.
以下是你应该注意的7个约会禁忌。
One, being too needy.
第一，太粘人。
Have you dated someone who wants to know what you're doing and where you are at all times? Neediness is a popular deal breaker.
你有没有跟这样一个人约过会，他总是想知道你在做什么，你在哪里？“粘人”是一个很常出现的交易破坏点。
A 2015 study by Janssen and others, found that 57% of men, and 69% of women, are turned off by needy partners.
詹森等人在2015年进行的一项研究发现，57%的男性和69%的女性会对粘人的伴侣失去兴趣。
A needy partner, is someone who is desperate for attention and afraid of abandonment.
粘人的伴侣，指那些极度渴望关注并且害怕被抛弃的人。
They're often insecure about the relationship. They might text you 24/7, and expect you to reply as soon as possible.
他们通常对关系缺乏安全感，可能会24小时不停地给你发短信，并且希望你能尽快回复。
When dating a needy partner, many people feel smothered and suffocated.
和粘人的伴侣约会会让很多人感到窒息。
Two, being too lazy.
第二，太懒。
How do you feel when your partner doesn't put any effort into your relationship?
当你的伴侣不为你们的关系付出任何努力时，你会是什么感觉？
Laziness, is the second most common deal breaker out there. 72% of women, consider laziness their number one deal breaker.
懒惰是导致分手的第二大原因，72%的女性认为懒惰是她们分手的首要原因。
Why? Because lazy partners are often unhelpful and inconsiderate. They may lack concrete goals or ambitions.
为什么？因为懒惰的伴侣通常不会帮助别人，也不会体谅别人。他们可能缺乏具体的目标或抱负。
Really lazy people, feel like parasites, mooching off all your hard work.
真正懒惰的人就像寄生虫一样，靠别人的辛苦劳动来揩油。
Three, you have a different sex drive.
第三，有不同的性欲。
Partners should connect, not only emotionally, but physically too. In a committed relationship, it's important that you're on the same page in the bedroom.
伴侣之间应该建立联系，不仅是情感上的，还有身体上的。在一段忠诚的关系中，在卧室里达成一致是很重要的。
Janssen and others found, that sex drive is another common deal breaker.
詹森和其他人发现，性欲是另一个常见的分手原因。
Also known as Libido, your sex drive describes how often you wanna be intimate with your partner.
性冲动也被称为“Libido(性欲)”，描述的是你想和伴侣亲密的频率。
In a healthy relationship, partners have similar sex drives.
在一段健康的关系中，伴侣应该有相似的性欲。
Allowing both partners to express themselves as often, or sparingly as they want.
允许双方经常或有节制地表达自己。
What if your sex drive is low, and your partner's sex drive is high?
如果你的性欲低，而你的伴侣性欲却高呢？
33% of people put a different sex drive in their top five deal breakers.
33%的人将不同的性欲列为分手前五大原因之一。
When you can't get on the same page physically, it creates frustration in the relationship.
当无法在生理上达成一致时，就会给你们的关系带来挫折。
If you and your partner's sex drives are too different, you may not be the perfect match.
如果你和伴侣的性欲相差太大，那么你们可能不是完美的伴侣。
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Four. Watching too much TV.
第四，电视看的太多。
How much time do you spend watching TV? Or playing video games?
你会花多少时间看电视？或者玩电子游戏？
There's nothing wrong with a little bit of downtime, but too much TV can be a deal breaker.
休息一下没有问题，但是电视看的太多就会让人崩溃。
This was a deal breaker for 25% of men and 41% of women. But the problem isn't the actual games, or TV shows. It's the amount of time you invest in them.
25%的男性和41%的女性对此不屑一顾，但问题并不在于游戏或者电视节目，而是你在这些事情上投入的时间。
If you're playing video games for eight hours a day, you may be neglecting your health, your work or your relationship.
如果你每天花8小时玩游戏，那么你可能会忽视自己的健康、工作和人际关系。
Most partners don't care whether you watch TV or play video games, but moderation is key.
大多数伴侣都不会在意你是看电视还是玩电子游戏，但关键是要适度。
Five. Poor personal hygiene.
第五，不注意个人卫生。
Of all the deal breakers on this list, poor hygiene, is the most common.
在这个列表中，糟糕的卫生习惯是最常见的。
Almost 70% of people said poor hygiene was an instant deal breaker.
近70%的人表示不讲卫生是破坏关系最快的一个因素。
In both short, and long term relationships, you have to take care of yourself.
无论是在短期的还是长期的恋爱关系中，你都必须好好收拾自己。
Most partners want someone who pays attention to their health and hygiene. Someone who keeps up their appearance. Someone who doesn't let a week go by without showering.
大多数伴侣都希望对方能注意自己的健康和卫生，能注重外表，能勤洗澡。
Six. Being too athletic, or not at all.
第六，太肌肉男。或者太瘦。
How much does your appearance matter in a relationship? Are your looks as important as they say?
你的外表在恋爱中有多重要？你的外表真的像他们说的那么重要吗？
Turns out, attractiveness was not even in the top 20 deal breakers.
结果发现，魅力甚至连前20名都排不上。
The truth is, most people are happy with someone who's pretty average.
事实是，大多数人和一个比较普通的人在一起会很开心。
For example, many men think you have to be muscular and athletic to be attractive.
例如，很多男人认为肌肉发达、有运动天赋才能有吸引力。
But 10% of people said, over athleticism was a deal breaker. On the flip side, zero athleticism is also a deal breaker.
但10%的人说过度运动是一个大问题。另一方面，零运动能力也会破坏关系。
That's why the most desirable partners don't lean one way or the other. They find a healthy medium.
这就是为什么最理想的伴侣不倾向于这样或那样，他们会去找一个健康的中间值。
And seven, you lack self confidence.
第七，缺乏自信。
Do you feel confident in yourself? Lack of confidence is another big deal breaker.
你对自己有信心吗？缺乏信心是另一个重要的破坏因素。
40% of people, 33 for men and nearly 50% for women, named self confidence as a major issue.
40%的人(男性33人，女性近50%)认为自信是一个主要问题。
Self confidence in this context means that you feel comfortable being yourself.
在这种情况下，自信就是你觉得做自己很巴适。
Self confidence is liking yourself enough to come out of your shell.
自信就是足够喜欢自己，能从自己的世界里走出来。
People are attracted to partners who aren't afraid to be themselves. So, don't hold yourself back.
人们会被那些不怕做自己的伴侣所吸引。所以，不要退缩。
Do you agree with any of the deal breakers on this list? What are your biggest deal breakers in relationships? Tell us about your experiences in the Comments section below.
你同意今天讲的这些内容吗？你在感情中最大的障碍是什么？请在下方的评论区告诉我们你的经历。
Don't forget to click the Like button and Subscribe to Psych2Go for more psychology content. And as always, thanks for watching.
不要忘记点赞并订阅Psych2Go观看更多心理学内容。最后，感谢收看。
