评论
打印
Hey, Psych2Goers, and welcome back to our channel. Thank you all so much for the love that you've given us.
大家好，欢迎回到我们的频道。非常感谢大家给予我们的爱。
Your ongoing support has helped us make psychology and mental health more accessible to everyone. So thank you. Now let's continue.
您的持续支持能够帮助大家更好地学习心理学和心理健康。所以谢谢大家，咱们继续。
As humans we're constantly growing and changing.
作为人类，我们在不断地成长和变化。
Have you ever found yourself becoming distant from someone you used to be close friends with?
你有没有发现自己和曾经亲密的朋友变得越来越疏远？
Whether it's due to different life goals our ever shifting personalities or a location change, it's never easy to have to let someone go.
不管是因为生活目标不同，个性不断变化，还是说不在一个地方生活，让一个人离开不会是件容易的事情。
Outgrowing a friendship is also a sign of maturity and the ability to recognize what you want in a good friend.
因长大而放弃一段友谊也是成熟的标志，也表明你有能力认清自己想要的好朋友。
While it's undoubtedly sad, drifting apart from a friend is natural and may even turn out to be a good thing in the long run.
这无疑是令人悲伤的，但和朋友渐行渐远是很自然的，从长远来看甚至可能是一件好事。
Do you think you can still salvage your friendship or is your friendship no longer compatible?
你决定自己还能挽救你们的友谊吗？或者说你们的友谊已经已经不相容了？
To answer that, here are five signs you've outgrown your friendship.
为了回答这个问题，这里有5个迹象表明你需要放弃这段友谊。
Number one, your values conflict.
第一，价值观冲突。
As you go through life and gain new experiences, your values and morals will change.
随着你不断经历生活中的种种事情，你的价值观和道德观也会发生改变。
We often tend to seek friends with similar beliefs.
我们通常倾向于寻找信仰相似的朋友。
So if you find that you no longer agree with what your friend does or says it may be a sign you've outgrown them.
所以，如果你发现自己不再赞同某个朋友的言行，这可能意味着你已经因成长而不再需要他们的友谊了。
Of course you shouldn't stop being friends with someone just because you happen to disagree with something.
当然，你不应该仅仅因为不同意别人的观点就不再和他做朋友。
But if it's a fundamental disagreement about a topic that's really important to you you may find yourself wanting to spend more time around like-minded people.
但是如果你对一个对你很重要的话题有根本上的分歧，那么你可能会发现自己想要花更多的时间和志同道合的人在一起。
Number two, you don't spend time together anymore.
第二，你们不再见面了。
Simply put, when you like someone enough you always try to make time for them.
简单地说，当你足够喜欢一个人的时候，你总会试图为他们腾出时间。
If you and your friend are routinely making excuses not to hang out, it may be a sign you no longer enjoy each other's company.
如果你和你的朋友经常找借口不出去玩，这可能是你们不再喜欢彼此陪伴的迹象。
Your interests, senses of humor or personalities may have fallen out of compatibility with each other, while it's painful to go through,
你的兴趣、幽默感或个性可能已经和彼此失去了兼容性，虽然这是令人痛苦的，
it's a sign you've outgrown your friendship and are wanting to seek out friends who compliment and balance you out more.
但这表明你已经因成长而不再需要他们的友谊，想要寻找能够赞美你、平衡你的朋友。
Number three, you don't tell each other everything like you used to.
第三，你们不再像以前那样无话不谈了。
As cliche is it sounds, friends often do tell each other everything.
听起来很老套，朋友之间确实无话不谈。
If you're holding back from telling your friends something due to fear of being criticized or them not understanding, it's probably a sign you're no longer comfortable around them.
如果你因为害怕被批评或者不被理解而不敢告诉朋友一些事情，这可能是你和他们在一起不舒服的信号。
Friendship is based upon mutual trust, communication, and respect.
友谊建立在相互信任、沟通和尊重的基础之上。
And if you find yourself becoming wary of your friend, it's likely time to try and move on.
如果你发现自己对朋友产生了戒心，那么很可能是时候试着向前看了。
After all everyone deserves to have someone they can confide in without fear of judgment or shame.
毕竟，每个人都值得拥有一个他们可以信赖的人，而不用害怕被评判或者羞愧。
Number four, things don't feel natural with them anymore.
第四，和他们在一起感觉不再自然。
How do you feel around them? Friendship is about having a healthy, emotional connection with someone.
和他们在一起的感觉如何？友谊就是和某人有着健康的情感联系。
If you two lose that connection over time, your conversations might become dull.
如果随着时间的推移，你俩失去了这种联系，那么你们的谈话可能会变得无趣。
You'll have less energy around them and the tension between you two will increase.
你在他们身边的精力会减少，你们之间的紧张感会增加。
In the end, a friendship should make you happy and be an enjoyable experience for you both.
最后，友谊是应该让你快乐的，是你俩都享受的经历。
If it isn't sustainable any longer, that's okay. And you can allow yourself to move on.
如果一段友谊持续不下去了，没关系，你可以让自己继续前进。
Number five, would you still be friends with them if you met them today?
第五，如果你今天遇见他们，你还会和他们做朋友吗？
Think back to who you were five years ago.
回想一下五年前的你是怎样的。
Chances are you're a completely different person with new hobbies, personality traits, and goals.
现在的你很可能是一个和以前完全不同的人，有着新的爱好、性格和目标。
You've evolved and changed, which means the people that you want around you have likely changed too.
你已经进化和改变了，这意味着你想要陪在自己身边的人可能也改变了。
If you met your old friend as the person you are today, would you two still be compatible?
如果你遇见自己的老朋友时还是现在的你，你们还能合得来吗？
If the answer is no, then you've probably moved past the friendship.
如果答案是否定的，那么你的友谊很可能已经过去了。
After all, sometimes the only thing connecting two people is their past together.
毕竟，有时候能把两个人联系在一起的只有他们的过去。
The process of outgrowing friends and finding new people is never ending. As all of us are constantly changing.
舍掉老朋友、寻找新朋友的过程会永远持续下去。因为我们所有人都在不断地改变。
Knowing this, you don't have to blame yourself for drifting apart from a friend.
知道了这一点，你就不必为疏远朋友而责备自己了。
While both of you can make your best effort to maintain your friendship, it's common for people to slowly go distant. It's completely natural and normal.
当双方都需要尽很大努力去维持彼此的友谊时，慢慢疏远是很正常的。非常自然，非常正常。
If anything, it means you're evolving to become a more balanced and mature version of yourself.
如果说有什么的话，那就意味着你正在进化成为一个更平衡、更成熟的自己。
