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Shame is the gremlin who says: "never good enough" -- and, if you can talk it out of that one, "who do you think you are?"
羞耻是说出“永远不够好”的小鬼怪，如果你觉得你能说服它，“你以为你是谁呢？”
The thing to understand about shame is it's not guilt.
我们要知道，羞耻并不是内疚。
Shame is a focus on self. Guilt is a focus on behavior.
羞耻是对自我的关注。内疚是对行为的关注。
Shame is, "I am bad." Guilt is, "I did something bad."
羞耻是，“我很糟糕。” 内疚是，“我做了坏事。”
Shame is highly, highly correlated with addiction, depression, violence, aggression, bullying, suicide, eating disorders.
羞耻感与上瘾、抑郁、暴力、攻击、欺凌、自杀、饮食失调密切相关。
And here's what you even need to know more.
大家还需要了解更多。
Guilt, inversely correlated with those things.
相反，内疚感与这些无关。
Shame, for women, is this web of unobtainable, conflicting, competing expectations about who we're supposed to be.
羞耻，对于女人来说，是一张编织了我们应该成为的、难以企及的、相互冲突的网。
For men, shame is not a bunch of competing, conflicting expectations.
对男人来说，羞耻不是一堆相互竞争、相互冲突的期望。
Shame is one: do not be perceived as what? Weak.
而是一点：不要被看作什么？软弱。
But the truth is vulnerability is not weakness.
但事实是脆弱并不是软弱。
I define vulnerability as emotional risk, exposure, uncertainty. It fuels our daily lives.
我把脆弱定义为情感风险、暴露、不确定性。它为我们的日常生活提供燃料。
And I've come to the belief--this is my 12th year doing this research--that vulnerability is our most accurate measurement of courage.
我相信——这是我做这项研究的第12年——脆弱是我们衡量勇气最准确的标准。
If we're going to find our way back to each other, we have to understand and know empathy, because empathy's the antidote to shame.
如果我们想找回彼此，就必须理解和了解同理心，因为同理心是耻辱的良药。
If you put shame in a Petri dish, it needs three things to grow exponentially: secrecy, silence and judgment.
如果你把羞耻感放在培养皿里，它需要三样东西来成倍增长：秘密、沉默和评判。
If you put the same amount in a Petri dish and douse it with empathy, it can't survive.
如果你把同样数量的羞耻感放入培养皿中，并注入同理心，它就无法存活。
The two most powerful words when we're in struggle: me too.
当我们努力挣扎时，最有力量的几个字是：我也一样。
If we're going to find our way back to each other, vulnerability is going to be that path.
如果我们想找回彼此，脆弱就是通往那里的路。
