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José Robbe put a plate of biscuits in front of me and poured coffee.
何塞-罗贝给我端了一盘饼干，并倒了一杯咖啡。
Ruud sat beside me.
鲁德坐在我身边。
As we talked, he pulled a handkerchief from the pocket of his jeans a couple of times, pushing aside his glasses to dry his eyes.
在我们交谈时，他从牛仔裤的口袋里掏了几次手帕，把眼镜推到一边，擦干眼泪。
After his arrest, Edwin was detained for 42 days, found guilty of hacking and given a suspended prison sentence of 240 days plus community service.
埃德温被捕后，被拘留了42天，被认定犯有黑客罪，被判处240天的缓刑，外加社区服务。
He didn’t want to do community service, however, so did the time instead.
然而，他不想做社区服务，所以改为延长时间。
Afterwards, Edwin was even more withdrawn.
此后，埃德温变得更加孤僻。
He self-medicated with sedatives and experimented with a variety of drugs.
他用镇静剂进行自我治疗，并尝试使用各种药物。
His dad would come home to find the house strewn with leaves and plants that Edwin was using to cook up some psychedelic brew.
他的父亲回家时发现房子里散落着叶子和植物，埃德温正在用它们来调制一些迷幻药。
Edwin was delusional by this point, and took exception to everything.
此时的埃德温已经有了妄想症，对一切都不以为然。
To his parents, the situation seemed hopeless.
对他的父母来说，这种情况似乎没有希望治好。
Even professionals at the rehabilitation clinic where he was admitted, De Bouman in Rotterdam, sent him packing after a week, saying his behaviour made him impossible.
即使是他入院的康复诊所（鹿特丹的De Bouman）的专业人员也在一周后将他送走，说他的行为让他无法自拔。
Edwin asked Ruud if he could move back home, but his dad didn’t feel up to the task of taking in his now 22-year-old son.
埃德温问鲁德是否可以搬回家住，但他的父亲觉得不适合再供养他现在22岁的儿子。
As Edwin stood on his doorstep, Ruud turned him away with a heavy heart.
当埃德温站在他的门前时，鲁德怀着沉重的心情把他拒之门外。
“Come on,” Edwin pleaded. But Ruud was at the end of his tether.
“拜托了，”埃德温恳求道。但鲁德已经走到了尽头。
“We can’t,” he said. “I’m sorry.”
“真的不能，”他说。“我很抱歉。”
Edwin left with a backpack. His parents had no idea where he’d go.
埃德温背着背包离开了。他的父母不知道他要去哪里。
After several weeks with no news, Ruud tried to get in touch through WhatsApp and email.
几周后，没有任何消息，鲁德试图通过WhatsApp和电子邮件与他取得联系。
Edwin only responded to one email, saying: “Sure, everything’s fine.
埃德温只回复了一封邮件，说：我一切都好。
I’m in Pyongyang, North Korea.”
我在朝鲜的平壤。”
Attached to the message was a photograph.
信息的附件是一张照片。
It showed Edwin dressed all in black, with eye-catching chains on his jacket.
照片中的埃德温一身黑衣，外套上有醒目的链子。
Standing next to him was a Korean soldier.
站在他旁边的是一名韩国士兵。
He had posed in front of a picture of the North Korean leader Kim Jong-un (probably, in fact, a tourist attraction in South Korea).
他在朝鲜领导人金正恩的照片前摆了一个姿势（事实上，这可能是韩国的一个旅游景点）。
Edwin closed his email with: “They monitor things like WhatsApp and phones.
埃德温在邮件的最后说：他们监控WhatsApp和电话等东西。
But at least they have computers.”
但至少他们有电脑。
It was one of his very last messages. Ruud bowed his head.
这是他最后的信息之一。鲁德低下了头。
“Should I have let him come back home?” he wondered.
“我应该让他回家吗？”他想知道。
“Should I have given him one more chance?
“我应该再给他一次机会吗？
I’d reached my limit. I just couldn’t do it.”
我已经达到了我的极限。我就是做不到。”
I’d wanted to hear the story from Edwin himself.
我一直想听埃德温本人讲述这个故事。
The one time we Skyped, he’d been in a hotel room in South Korea.
我们有一次通过Skyped，他在韩国的一个酒店房间里。
Eight minutes into our call, he signed off with a smile and a peace sign.
我们进行了8分钟通话，他微笑着做了一个和平的手势。
译文由可可原创，仅供学习交流使用，未经许可请勿转载。
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