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第295期:小酒馆·大世界-意大利“撩”法:骑着我的小摩托,带你罗马假日

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Welcome to your favorite segment Global Village. 欢迎回来《小酒馆·大世界》。

That's what I've noticed, Italian women tend to be very stylish.

Yes, elegant.

Yeah, very elegant, very stylish, and you put a lot of efforts into accessorizing, you know doing all these…

See, we don't see it as effort. It's just how it is.

A matter of fact, it's a way of life.

Yeah. It's just you wake up and that's how you do it, how you get dressed, how you but on accessories, it’s just normal.

Can I also ask perhaps this question might sound a bit odd to you. You know in China, especially for women we like more the fair skinned, so we have a lot of cream to make sure that we have porcelain sort of skin就是很多这种美白产品。In Italy it seems like everyone wants to get tanned.

If you're like the skin too white, for us, it means that you're sick. Because when we are sick, we get like really white, so it's not that good to be white, so we like to be tanned.

I get that asked a lot. You're not feeling well I was like no, this is my natural color, like when we go to the seaside people like oh you look like a ghost or… ,I'm like no…

You don't get tanned easily.

Yeah, I become red more than tanned, but I love to be tanned, that's a thing like we love to sunbathe and dark skin.

Yeah, I can totally see the charm of Italian guys, I have totally went through that face.

Ok, what about actual date? What is an actual date like, for example, is it… I mean you mentioned your earlier dates that's like supervised going to the movies, but whatever when you're an adult, is it going to fancy restaurants or what is it?

Maybe the first date would be just to get to know each other so it would be like an informal coffee or glass of wine somewhere.

And I would actually think that the first day should be dinner.

A dinner.

And a guy like if we go to a date, it means that it's a date like we get to know each other. So we go… like the guy has to organize the dinner.

And pay?

For sure, and pay, pick you up, take you home.

But as well we said earlier, like people are scared of commitment, so the way of asking you for coffee or for wine is more like…

Take that pressure off?

Yeah, like let's see how it goes and then maybe I can invite you for dinner I feel like it's becoming very popular, just go for coffee and I don't know.

Nobody's ever asked me for coffee.

No, because if they want commitment they take you for dinner, if they don’t want commitment, they ask you for a cocktail after dinner.

Ok.

Like for me, I just feel like coffee is more of a friend or colleague thing like you definitely kind of in a friend zone.

Yeah.

But sometimes the coffee is after dinner.

And then lead on to a cocktail?

Maybe, it depends. So you go on a date and then after a few dates, he could invite you for like to his house and he will cook. That's a very like sexy thing I think. If a guy can cook, it’s like… a lot of points, a lot of credit.

Is it not mean… you're a big food country, is it not normal for guys to know how to cook.

It depends, it's not that…

Not that normal.

I guess mommies do the cooking.

Yeah, unless they've been living by themselves so they lived abroad and they learned to cook, they have to learn.

It is a very sexy thing if a guy says I’m gonna cook, yes definitely. For a foodie like me, a guy who knows his way around the kitchen and also knows wine, all of that, it’s super sexy.

And for sure he's gonna cook his best dishes the first time so we're gonna eat really well. And of course there's gonna be wine, so it's definitely gonna be like a relaxed and fun night.

Do you have the whole thing about going on the first date and then having like the first kiss, that sort of thing is in some cultures they do or is it going too fast or what is it like or is it depends on the person?

I guess there is not a fixed like…

There's attraction and the first day the first kiss is normal.

You know what I find to be really funny is that I'm on some social apps. It's not really I don't want to call it hook up apps. But when I was traveling in Italy and just out of curiosity, I open it and then I find something very uniquely Italian, so instead of saying I have a fancy car, I'm gonna take you for a ride, and Italian guys are saying that I have a very nice scooter or I have a motorcycle. For me that’s almost like that's a stereotype thing, that an Italian guy would have a car, a motorcycle and then a scooter like it’s in Rome at least that's what I...

Yeah, big cities you need to have the scooter, otherwise you don't move.

So it's a convenient thing I think, it's also cool.

Again, I blame Roman Holiday.

Yeah, the stereotypes always have like some truth behind you know.

Exactly

And then another thing that I would like to ask, since last time we have established that Italians are also very family oriented, so when is it, let’s say if you're up for a commitment, when do they usually take their dates to see to meet their family?

After 6months, 6 or 7months.

What if your families don't like someone who you're dating.

You ask myself?

Yeah.

I would not date them anymore.

Would you not at least ask your family why don’t you like…

For sure, yeah, I would listen their opinion, but since my family they know me really good and especially my dad, I know he cares about me, he never said that before, but if he's gonna say that to me one day, I am really going to listen to his words and think about it a lot and eventually...

Maybe because they see some red flags you just too…

Yeah, may be. But your friends would also, what your family thinks is always important.

Do you go on blind dates, set up dates by your family or friends like this whole idea of not相亲but you know what I mean like blind dates.

No, I've never heard of anyone.

Me neither. No common.

No, it's not common.

As you mentioned now, what's very common to meet people is just through apps.

Which…I believe like things changed, before you were just introduced by friends or you would just meet people out, and now the normality is just to meet people through the app, which is a bit strange.

I think it's because like years ago not really that like long time ago, I would say15 years ago we were used to live in that town like the same town, so you know like you stay with the high school friends and you pretty much know everybody, so it's good it was easier.

More like a small town mentality.

Yeah. But now people start to move to other places to other towns, even to other countries. And like if you go some other places, you don't know you don't have friends, so you need to have social activities.

Exactly big cities, even though there's so many people, but it's actually getting almost more difficult to meet people because nobody really, let's say cares about your life, so you have to really put yourself out there to get dates. And is it very common for people to just live together without getting married or…

Yes, it's even more common than getting married now.

Ok, is it protected by law?

Yes, It recognizes as the fact of couple.

Like a common law?

Yeah, I think young people actually prefer just to live together, first because you try out like you see if it works rather than commit straight to marriage and then also because marriage is expensive. So…

Marriage is expensive because of the wedding or …

Yeah, the wedding.

Because of the party.

So if you get married, you have to have a wedding.

You don't have to, but…

Most people do.

Most people do. I've heard lots of people say, we don't get married because it's too much money, we'd rather spend the money on the house or sometimes…

But to give you an idea like among all of my friends in Italy only have two friends that are married. And I am in my 30s so…

But other people they are…

They are all, nobody is single.

Nobody’s single, but they don't get married there.

No, it's not a requirement, and even parents would be fine with it. It’s not something they would say no, you have to get married before.

But see this is why I was asking you in our previous talk about are Italians more liberal minded or conservative? Because if you don't mind me asking, you do still have pretty big the religious influence there, does that affect things that people this whole living together without getting married?

They are considered to be sinners to the church, so…

But people still do it.

I guess if you're very religious, you wouldn't do it. But people are less and less religious.

I see.

Or if I think about again the south and southern regions, maybe there it's less common, so first you get married and then you move in together.

Yeah, I guess that's the routine, but less and less like people are…you know generations are changing. So first you try it out because you don't really want the marriage to go bad, so first you see how it… living together is different and dating.

Yeah, exactly.

I think it's not only because you don't want the marriage to go bad, it's also because you want to be free. It can feel like you always have your choice.

You don’t want to be tied down.

Exactly, like I can always work out.

Like the fear of commitment.

Fear of commitment, that is very popular in not just men but women as well.

Yeah, it’s true. And you live together and perhaps you even have kids without being married, that's also very common.

I mean as long as you are protected by laws and people don't really have to worry about it in that sense. Yeah, certainly an eye opener for me.

And as we're coming to the end of our talk, I would like to ask you guys to teacher our audience because they are really interested in different sorts of cultures, so any romantic phrases that Italians actually say in a dating and relationship context that you can share with our audience, maybe teach us two or three?

Okay, I think the most common one that you also hear in movies is

Sei Bellissima. Sei Bellissima which is you're beautiful.

Oh, beautiful, that's only for women.

Sei Bellissimo for guys.

Like handsome?

Yes, but you wouldn't say that.

Girls don't say that to guys. It’s the guy's compliment.

You don't say the compliment, you receive it.

But if some guy says that to me, how shall I respond to that?

Grazie, just thank you, very easy.

Okay.

Or I love you. Amore

I know like when the dating gets really like formal we called the partner Amore, Amore mio, which means my love.

We don't usually say the name we just say amore.

What's really funny is a lot of people use nicknames like pet nicknames to call partner.

What's like a common one?

Cucciolo, which means like puppy.

Or like little bear Orsacchiotto, they are just really weird, every couple I guess has his own.

In Chinese you hear like 小猪猪,like a little piggy, I wouldn't like that if someone calls me like that. A little bear is fine, little rabbit maybe, but not little piggy.

OK. Thank you girls for coming to show for this girl talk edition. I really enjoyed our talk. For those of you who are listening to the show, any of your dating experience that you would like to share, any questions you would like to ask, leave us a comment in the comment section. Thank you Carlotta, thank you, Miky for coming to show again.

Thank you.

See you next time, bye.

Ciao

Ciao

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