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Hi, Psych2Goers. Is there someone you think has a crush on you?
嗨，Psych2Go的观众。你觉得有人喜欢你吗?
Knowing that someone is attracted to you can make you feel happy and good about yourself.
知道有人被你吸引会让你感到快乐和感觉良好。
And naturally, you'll want that attraction to last as long as possible, but sometimes you might get carried away and not realize that you're making mistakes that are diminishing the attraction they have for you.
自然，你会希望这种吸引力尽可能地持续下去，但有时你可能会得意忘形，没有意识到你正在犯的错误正在削弱你对他的吸引力。
So to help you become more aware of some of your behaviors, here are five mistakes that kill attraction.
因此，为了帮助你更好地意识到自己的一些行为，这里有五个错误做法会扼杀吸引力。
Number one. Insecurity.
第一、不安全感。
Are you a confident person?
你是一个自信的人吗？
Or are you very insecure about yourself?
还是你对自己很没有安全感？
While it's normal to doubt yourself from time to time, the attraction that someone feels towards you might start to disappear when you let your insecurities take over you.
虽然时不时地怀疑自己是正常的，但当你让不安全感占据你的身心时，你对别人的吸引力可能会开始消失。
This may include constant negative comments about yourself such as, "I'm too stupid to understand this. Are you sure I look good? Or, I don't think I'm good enough."
这可能包括你对自己的负面评价，比如 “我太蠢了，不能明白。你确定我好看吗? 或者，我觉得自己不够好。”
While others may help you at first, this constant self-doubt and need for reassurance could get exhausting for them, especially when they're trying to make you believe in something you don't see in yourself.
虽然别人一开始可能会帮助你，但这种不断的自我怀疑和对安慰的需求可能会让他们精疲力竭，尤其是当他试图让你相信一些你在自己身上看不到的东西时。
Even though it's hard to control how you feel about yourself, it's still important to try to work on building a positive self-image, and to avoid relying solely on one person to validate your self-worth.
尽管很难控制你对自己的感觉，但努力建立一个积极的自我形象，避免仅仅依赖一个人来验证你的自我价值，仍然很重要。
When you do, you may start to notice others respond positively to your new energy.
当你这样做的时候，你可能会开始注意到别人对你的新能量做出了积极的反应。
Number two. Jealousy and possessive behavior.
第二、嫉妒和强占有欲。
Do you get jealous easily?
你容易吃醋吗？
Whether it's always calling your partner to see who they hang out with, going through their phone, or stopping them from going out with their friends or family so they could spend time with you?
是否总是打电话给你的伴侣，看看他和谁出去玩，查看他的手机，或者阻止他和朋友或家人出去，这样他就可以和你在一起?
These are all types of behavior that may frustrate your partner and make them feel like you don't respect them at all.
这些行为类型可能会让你的伴侣感到沮丧，让他觉得你根本不尊重他。
They may also feel suffocated by the intensity of your lack of trust and decide to take a step back.
他也可能会因为你严重缺乏信任而感到窒息，并决定后退一步。
If you find yourself dealing with this a lot, you may wanna work on finding the core of your trust issues, so you can understand and overcome that problem.
如果你发现自己经常处理这个问题，你可能想要找到你信任问题的核心，这样你就可以理解并克服这个问题。
Number three. Being overly critical.
第三、过于吹毛求疵。
Are you always criticizing them for doing the dishes wrong?
你总是批评他没有洗好盘子吗？
Or complaining that they don't dress well?
或者抱怨他穿得不好？
Oftentimes it can be useful to hear what you did wrong to know how to do better next time, as long as it's done respectfully, and with good intentions, it's quite normal if you sometimes critique your partner's behavior.
通常，听到你做错了什么，知道下次如何做得更好是很有用的，只要你是怀着善意、尊重地做的，有时批评你的伴侣的行为是很正常的。
However, if you start to become overly critical about everything they do all the time, then you may lose the attraction that they have for you.
然而，如果你开始对他所做的每一件事都过于挑剔，那么你可能会失去对他的吸引力。
Negative comments about how they're not doing things the right way, or how they constantly make mistakes, can make them feel unappreciated, and cause them to only expect the worst from you.
对他没有以正确的方式做事，或者他经常犯错进行负面评论，会让他感觉不被欣赏，导致他只期望你做最坏的事情。
So if you try to keep things positive and emphasize the good things, instead of the bad, you could keep the spark between you going long.
如果你试着让事情保持积极，强调好的方面，而不是不好的方面，可以让你们之间的火花持续很久。
Number four. Spending too much time with technology.
第四、花太多时间在电子产品上。
Is it hard to not check your phone?
不看手机是不是很难？
Perhaps you say, "That you'll just take a quick look."
也许你会说，“你只需要快速地看一眼。”
But find yourself still typing and scrolling 10 minutes later.
但10分钟后，你会发现自己仍然在打字和刷手机。
No matter how useful your phone is it can often make you neglect the ones around you.
不管你的手机有多有用，它经常会让你忽视周围的人。
Whether it's spending hours playing PlayStation or watching TV, when you spend too much time with technology while you're with someone, it tells them that you're uninterested and unavailable.
无论是花几个小时玩PlayStation还是看电视，当你和某人在一起时，你花太多时间在科技产品上，这告诉他你不感兴趣，也没时间。
They might feel ignored and bored in your company, then the attraction they felt towards you might start to fade away over time.
他可能会觉得在你的陪伴下有种被忽视和无聊的感觉，你对他的吸引力可能会随着时间的推移而开始消退。
So if you feel something like this could be happening to you, try to put your phone on silent when you spend time with your partner.
所以，如果你觉得这样的事情可能发生在你身上，当你和你的伴侣在一起时，试着把你的手机调成静音。
Show them that they've got your full attention.
让他知道你已经全神贯注了。
And number five. Negativity.
第五、消极。
What kind of aura or vibe do you put out?
你给人一种什么样的感觉?
Your mood can definitely have an effect on how the people around you feel.
你的情绪肯定会影响你周围的人的感受。
If you're constantly negative, then those around you can feel it and recognize it too.
如果你总是消极，那么你周围的人也能感觉到并识别到。
And so if you're spending time with someone who likes you, surrounding them with negativity could quickly kill their attraction towards you.
如果你花时间和喜欢你的人在一起，让他处于消极的环境中很快会扼死你对他的吸引力。
As Laurel Steinberg, PhD relationship therapist, and professor of psychology at Columbia University, said,
正如哥伦比亚大学情感治疗师博士、心理学教授劳蕾尔·斯坦伯格所说，
"Being too negative in a relationship can have many damaging effects on both parties, and on the relationship itself.
“在一段关系中过于消极会对双方以及这段关系本身产生许多破坏性的影响。
Negativity makes other people feel depressed, is a total buzzkill, and can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Negativity also reduces libido."
消极情绪会让别人感到沮丧，让人扫兴，还会成为自我实现的预言。消极也会降低欲望。”
It's clear you don't want this in your relationship, so be aware of the energy you put out.
很明显，你不想在你的关系中出现这种情况，所以要意识到你付出的精力。
Have you done any of these?
你做过这些吗？
Let us know in the comments below.
在下面的评论中告诉我们。
If you found this video helpful, be sure to like, subscribe, and share this video with those who might benefit from it.
如果你觉得这个视频有帮助，请务必点赞、订阅并与可能从中受益的人分享此视频。
And don't forget to hit the notification bell icon, to get notified whenever our Psych2Go posts a new video.
别忘了按下通知铃图标，当Psych2Go发布新视频时，就会收到通知。
The references and studies used in this video are added in the description below.
本视频中使用的参考文献和研究添加在下面的描述中。
Thanks for watching, and see you in the next one.
感谢您的收看，下期节目再见。
