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Welcome back, Psych2Goers.
欢迎回来，Psych2Go的观众们。
So, we know you're not a sheep, a follower, or a sycophant.
我们知道你不是没主见的人，不是随波逐流的人，也不是谄媚的人。
Yet the question still lingers, even if it's deep down, "Am I likable?
然而，这个问题仍然挥之不去，即使深藏内心深处，“我讨人喜欢吗？"
Regardless of the hype around being a lone wolf, truth be told, being likable is a natural concern rooted in human nature for survival.
抛开“做独处者”的炒作不谈，说实话，讨人喜欢是根植于人类生存本性的一种自然关切。
Sure, we don't need it to survive being eaten by wild animals anymore.
当然，我们不再需要靠其来生存，不再担心被野生动物吃掉。
Instead, it's necessary for survival in the modern jungle, where professional connections and romantic prospects are at stake.
相反，这是在现代丛林中生存所必需的东西，职业关系和浪漫运势在这里都岌岌可危。
Wondering where on the survivability scale you sit?
想知道你处于生存能力量表上的哪个位置吗？
Let's take a look at some likable personality characteristics, so you can figure that out.
让我们来看看一些讨人喜欢的个性特征，这样你就可以弄清楚了。
Number one, you are genuine.
第一，真诚。
Are your beliefs, ideals, and curiosities your own, or are they directed by an outside hand?
你的信念、理想和好奇心是你自己的吗? 还是受外界的影响?
When faced with a task to tackle, do you just do as you're told, or is the approach more, how can I do this to get what I need out of it?
当面对一项需要处理的任务时，你是只是按照要求去做，还是会采取更多的方法，我该如何做才能得到我需要的东西?
If you can honestly say, that, although you may listen to others, your decisions are your own, it's highly probable that you are being true to yourself and a genuine person.
如果你可以诚实地说，尽管你可能会听取别人的意见，但决定是你自己做的，很可能你是在忠于自己，做一个诚实的人。
What is it about being genuine that is so likable?
是什么让真诚变得如此讨人喜欢?
It has to do with trust.
这与信任有关。
If you're showing how you really feel, and you're comfortable in your own skin, others can feel they're getting the truth.
如果你在展示你的真实感受，并且对自己的能力和适应力显示出一种轻松的自信，其他人可以感觉到他们得到了真相。
This authenticity also means the person has self-awareness by looking inwards while staying grounded in who they truly are.
这种真实性也意味着这个人有自我意识，通过观察自己的内心，同时保持他们真实的自我。
Number two, you are a good listener.
第二，好的倾听者。
Quick, think of a scenario where you're in a conversation, what are you doing?
快，想象一个场景，你在对话中，你在做什么?
Are you actively processing and understanding what is being said, or are you muttering things like, "Mm-hmm, yeah, crazy, right?" whilst being distracted or impatiently waiting to say your piece?
你是在积极地处理和理解别人说的话，还是在分神或不耐烦地等着说自己的话的时候嘟囔着:“嗯，是啊，很疯狂，对吧?”
Listening involves empathy, as well as comprehension.
倾听既需要理解，也需要有共鸣。
When we listen carefully, we are considering the speaker's feelings and intentions without interfering with our own.
当我们仔细倾听时，我们是在考虑说话者的感受和意图，而不是干扰我们自己的感受和意图。
Consideration implies care, giving attention and respect to the speaker, as well as the words spoken is telling the other person that they are cared for, and are worthy of that care.
考虑意味着关心，给予说话者关注和尊重，所说的话是告诉别人，他们备受关心，值得这种关心。
What can we say?
我们能说什么呢？
We like being cared about.
我们喜欢被关心。
Number three, you're humble.
第三，谦虚。
No, not humblebrag or false modesty, we mean truly humble, which, ironically, is not something a humble person would usually use to describe themselves.
不，不是看似谦虚的自夸，或是假谦虚，我们指的是真正的谦虚，具有讽刺意味的是，一个谦逊的人通常不会说自己谦虚。
A humble person has humility.
谦卑的人会很谦逊。
They understand and accept their imperfections, so, won't hesitate to acknowledge and apologize for mistakes.
他们理解并接受自己的不完美，因此，他们会毫不犹豫地承认错误并为错误道歉。
They will learn from those and try to improve.
他们将从中吸取教训，并努力改进。
This is opposed to the I'm always right individual.
这与觉得“我永远是对的”的人是相反的。
As contradictory as it may sound, the pliability humility brings is stronger than rigid arrogance.
尽管听起来可能自相矛盾，但谦逊带来的柔韧比傲慢更强大。
Someone with humility is more approachable, because they appear reasonable.
谦逊的人更平易近人，因为他们看起来通情达理。
Others know they won't get brashly shut down if they have a different or new opinion.
其他人知道，如果他们有不同的观点或新的观点，他们不会被轻率地要求闭嘴。
Having humility also means increased emotional wellness and resilience.
谦逊还意味着情绪健康和韧性更强。
You know that being wrong isn't the end of the world, and you trust yourself to fix it and improve on it.
你知道犯错并不是世界末日，你相信自己能改正并改进它。
Humility, good for you, good for others.
谦逊，自己受益，他人也受益。
Number four, you are not judgemental.
第四，不指手画脚。
We all have to make judgements on some things, or else we'd never make a decision on anything.
我们都必须对一些事情做出判断，否则我们永远不会对任何事情做出决定。
When it comes to how people are viewed, there's a little more to the story.
当谈到人们是如何看待他人的时候，还有更多的故事。
Being non-judgmental with others shows a sense of balance and empathy.
对他人不指手画脚表明了一种平衡感和同理心。
You are able to embrace differences and can observe without giving a grade and sentencing on others' behavior or words.
你能够拥抱差异，会评论，但不会给他人的行为或言语打分和判决。
Certainly, you may disagree with someone's ideas or way of thinking, but you can still accept and interact with them without judgment.
当然，你可能不同意某人的想法或思维方式，但你仍然可以不加评判地接受他们并与他们互动。
You don't think they are bad, but you might simply consider, "Is this difference so impactful "that we'll just go down different roads?"
你不认为它们不坏，但你可能会简单地考虑，“这种差异是否如此有影响力”，以至于我们将走上不同的道路？”
We can't get along with everyone all the time, and that's okay.
我们不能每时每刻都和他人相处融洽，这也没关系。
Number five, you're empathetic.
第五，同情心。
This ties into all the other characteristics.
这与所有其他特征都有联系。
Empathy, as described in this context, means not only the ability to understand, see, and feel from the other person's point of view, but also care about others.
同理心，正如在本文中所描述的，不仅意味着理解、看到和感受他人观点的能力，而且还意味着关心他人的能力。
This allows for compassion towards others and the ability to challenge one's own perceptions and prejudices towards people with different viewpoints.
这允许对他人表达同情，以及挑战自己对不同观点的人的看法和偏见的能力。
And number six, you greet people by their name.
第六，直呼名字打招呼。
If asked, "Who are you?" we wouldn't be surprised if you started with, "My name is."
如果你问:“你是谁?”如果你以“我的名字是”开头，我们不会感到惊讶。
Names are an integral part of your identity, it's a proclamation of your presence.
名字是你身份不可分割的一部分，它是你存在的宣言。
So, when you address someone by their name, it means you've noticed them, that you remembered them, and that they hold some importance to you.
所以，当你称呼某人的名字时，这意味着你注意到了他们，记住了他们，并且他们对你来说很重要。
The resulting atmosphere of respect, recognition, and consideration is definitely a positive.
由此产生的尊重、认可和考虑的气氛肯定是积极的。
So, those were some characteristics to look for, notice, maybe even practice.
因此，这些是一些需要寻找、注意，甚至是练习的特点。
Likability does involve other people, though, so, we're not solely responsible for it.
不过，讨不讨喜也受其他人的影响，所以，讨不讨喜不仅是由我们决定的。
There may be those who will never like us, no matter how likable we are, and that's not because you did something wrong, we do not control other people's feelings or how much they allow their own biases to affect them.
也许有些人永远都不会喜欢我们，不管我们有多可爱，这并不是因为你做错了什么，我们不能控制别人的感觉，或者他们多大程度上允许自己的偏见影响他们。
You, too, may find people that, on paper, seem to be the most likable people, yet you feel a little meh about them, and that's not wrong, it's being human.
你也可能会发现，那些理论上看起来最讨喜的人，你会却觉得他们有点无聊，这没有错，这是人的本性。
We like you, though, and we'd really like you to like us back, commenting doesn't hurt either.
我们喜欢你，我们真的希望你也喜欢我们，评论也无伤大雅。
Thanks for watching, and catch you next time.
感谢收看，下次再见。
