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The origins of our reckless hopes are, in a sense, extremely touching.
从某种意义上说，我们鲁莽的希望有着非常感人的源头。
When we were little a parent really did, at key moments, seem to know what we were thinking without us needing to speak.
在我们还小的时候，父母似乎真的在关键时刻知道我们在想什么，根本不需要我们说。
As if by magic, they guessed that we might want some milk.
就像变魔术一样，他们猜到我们可能需要一些牛奶。
With a medium's genius, they determined that we needed a bath or a nap or that a blanket was a bit scratchy for our cheek.
凭借奇异的才能，他们能明白我们需要洗个澡或打个盹，或者毯子让我们的脸有点痒。
And from this, an equation formed in our minds: whenever I am properly loved, I do not need to explain.
由此，我们的脑海中形成了一个等式：只要我被爱，就不需要解释。
But however great our parents were at reading our minds, they had a huge advantage over our partners: we were - back then - really very simple.
虽然父母非常善于读懂我们的心思，他们比我们的伴侣有一个巨大的优势：我们在当时真的非常简单。
Our requirements were usefully few: we needed only to be fed, bathed, slept, taken to the potty and entertained with a picture book or bit of string.
小时候的我们要求很少：我们只需要吃饭、洗澡、睡觉、上厕所、图画书或一点点绳子来玩游戏。
But we had no advanced views on politics, we had no complicated opinions on interior design, our psyches didn't register feint tremors of sarcasm or hypocrisy, we couldn't be thrown off course by the pronunciation of a word.
那时我们对政治没有什么超前的看法，对室内设计没有复杂的见解，我们心里没有虚假的讽刺或伪善，我们不会因为一个词的发音而被激怒。
How much more complicated we have grown since then.
从那时起，我们变得十分复杂。
We are now adults who can feel very strongly that a table must be placed symmetrically in a room twenty centimetres from the door to the kitchen; or we like it very much when our partner rolls up their sleeves but we hate them wearing a short-sleeved shirt, especially the green one; we like being teased (but only sometimes and never about our age); we are very critical of our mother but can't allow anyone to mention her habit of being late; we come across as confident but think of ourselves as shy; we like art but have an aversion to museums; we love stone fruits but hate peaches; we talk a lot about politics but can't stand reading newspapers.
我们现在已经变成了成年人，对一些事情会有严格的要求：桌子必摆放在离门到厨房20厘米距离的正中间；我们非常喜欢伴侣卷起袖子，但讨厌他们穿短袖衬衫，特别是那件绿色的；我们喜欢被取笑(但只是偶尔，而且年龄不可以作为话题)；我们对母亲非常挑剔，但不允许任何人提到她迟到的习惯；我们看起来很自信，但认为自己很害羞；我们喜欢艺术，但讨厌博物馆；我们喜欢核果类水果，但讨厌桃子；我们谈论很多关于政治的话题，但不愿意读报纸。
Our partner's inability to know all this - fast and decisively - necessarily feels like an intimate insult and the complex task of explaining our thoughts and attitudes like an unreasonable imposition.
我们的伴侣无法迅速果断地知道这一切，对我们来说必然就像是一种亲密的侮辱，而解释我们的想法和态度就像是一种强加给我们的，不合理的复杂任务。
But once we accept that there is no such thing as mindreading, a central part of our relationship becomes the slow, careful process of piecing together - in one another's company - what matters to us and why, with all the surprise and moments of genuine revelation this entails.
但是，一旦我们承认读心不存在，我们关系的核心就变成了一个缓慢而谨慎的过程——在双方彼此的陪伴下——伴随着所有的惊喜和真正的启示性时刻，拼凑什么对我们来说是重要的，以及它为什么重要。
We accept that there will be an immense amount we need to teach each other about who we are pretty much every day - while trusting that this is not an attack on the idea of love.
我们需要接受，我们几乎每天都要告诉伴侣我们是谁——与此同时，明白这不是爱情观念的崩塌。
