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Does the word toxic create a very specific image in your mind? Do you think of a friend, a parent, or an ex?
“有毒”这个词是否在你脑海中形成了一个非常具体的形象? 你会想到朋友、父亲、母亲或前任吗?
Sometimes, it's hard to tell if someone in your life is toxic.
有时候，很难判断你生命中的某个人是否有毒。
Do multiple people often say the same negative things about this one person?
是不是很多人都经常对这个人说同样的坏话?
Do you agree with the group consensus or are you still unsure?
你同意这个团体达成的共识吗? 还是你仍然不确定?
Well, here are six ways to recognize a toxic person in your life.
这里有六种方法来识别你生活中有毒的人。
Number one, they're disrespectful of your time.
第一，他们不尊重你的时间。
Time is pretty much the most valuable thing we have.
时间几乎是我们所拥有的最宝贵的东西。
Is this person constantly late? And when they do show up they don't give you an apology? Or do they talk over you the entire time?
这个人经常迟到吗?他们迟到也不向你道歉吗?还是他们总是在插嘴?
You feel like it's nearly impossible to get a word in.
你几乎不可能插得进去话。
Toxic people often make everything about themselves.
有毒的人总是以自己为中心。
You may feel like brick wall in what was otherwise supposed to be a two-way conversation.
在原本应该是双向的对话中，你可能会觉得自己像一堵砖墙。
If you find this is happening to you, maybe try spending more time with other people.
如果你发现这种情况发生在你身上，也许试着多花点时间和其他人相处。
Number two, lack of boundaries.
第二，缺乏界限。
If the person is toxic, they might also devalue your boundaries.
如果这个人有毒，他们也可能贬低你的界限。
Remember that it's okay to say no.
记住，说“不”也没关系。
You should never be made to feel guilty for needing a day away from everything.
你永远不应该因为需要一天远离这一切而感到内疚。
In many cases, this can be integral for your mental health.
在很多情况下，这对你的心理健康而言不可或缺。
If this person calls and texts you multiple times, asking to spend time with you and completely ignores your request for a day to yourself, that's kind of toxic.
如果这个人多次给你打电话、发短信，要求与你待在一起，完全无视你给自己的安排，这个人有毒。
Your day doesn't revolve around one single person and it shouldn't.
你的一天不能围绕一个人，也不应该围绕一个人。
It's important to place boundaries, especially at the start of a new friendship or relationship.
设定界限是很重要的，尤其是在开启一段新友谊或新关系的时候。
Number three, jealousy of your success.
第三，嫉妒你的成功。
When you do well on a test or get promoted at work, these are things that should be celebrated and cheered on.
当你在考试中取得好成绩或在工作中得到晋升时，这些都是应该庆祝和欢呼的事情。
When you tell the person about your achievement, do they belittle it? Do you feel worse about yourself after having told them?
当你告诉别人你的成就时，他们会进行贬低吗? 在告诉他们之后，你自我感觉更糟了吗?
People that are jealous of your success will go out of their way to criticize you and your work.
嫉妒你成功的人会想尽办法批评你以及你的工作。
This can be especially difficult to handle when it's a good friend or a close family member.
当对方是好朋友或亲密的家庭成员时，这尤其难以处理。
Chances are the person is trying to knock you down a peg, because they weren't able to accomplish a similar goal.
很有可能这个人是想让你失望，因为他们没能完成类似的目标。
Jealous people often project their failures and insecurities onto others.
嫉妒的人经常把自己的失败和不安全感投射到别人身上。
Number four, feel like you're walking on eggshells.
第四，感觉如履薄冰。
If you ever have to walk on eggshells around someone, it means you have to be very very careful.
如果你在某人身边不得不如履薄冰，也就是说，你必须非常非常小心。
Are you in a relationship with someone who makes you feel that way？
你是否在和一个让你有这种感觉的人交往?
It can mean nothing short of exhausting.
这可能意味着筋疲力尽。
Relationships whether they're romantic or platonic, are built on the same Bedrock of principles? Trust and honesty.
无论是浪漫的还是柏拉图式的关系，都建立在相同的原则基础上吗? 那就是信任与诚实。
If you don't have either, the relationship simply isn't sustainable.
如果两者都不具备，这段关系就无法持续。
Do you have to second guess everything you say and do around them？
你在他们身边说的每句话和做的每件事都要三思而后行吗?
This isn't healthy, nor is it fair to you.
这样不健康，对你也不公平。
Number five, not taking responsibility.
第五，不承担责任。
As human beings, we all make mistakes.
作为人类，我们都会犯错误。
Admitting you're at fault for something is never fun, but it can make your mind, body and soul feel a whole lot lighter.
承认自己的错误从来都不是一件有趣的事，但它可以让你的思想、身体和灵魂感到轻松很多。
A toxic person, on the other hand, is someone who never takes responsibility. This comes in all forms.
另一方面，有毒的人是从不承担责任的人。表现在方方面面。
Maybe they put the blame on you for their actions or they make up excuses.
也许他们把自己的行为归咎于你，或者编造借口。
Either way refusing to take responsibility is one of the key traits of a toxic person.
不管怎样，拒绝承担责任是有毒的人的主要特征之一。
And number six, they're emotionally draining.
第六，他们会消耗你的情感。
If a person is an emotional drain on you, it's super imperative that you take stock of this.
如果这个人消耗你的情感，那么，有必要评估一下。
Toxic people will often latch onto others like a parasite.
有毒的人经常像寄生虫一样依附别人。
A parasite needs another host to survive.
寄生虫需要一个宿主才能生存。
On a subconscious level, you may have already clued into the fact that they're toxic.
在潜意识层面上，你可能已经知道它们是有毒的人。
There's a definite reason for this.
这是有明确原因的。
On a phone, the battery drains faster when there are multiple apps and tabs open.
当打开手机上多个应用程序和标签页时，电池消耗得更快。
A toxic person will likely feel like multiple apps all at once.
遇到“有毒”的人可能会觉得自己同时使用了多个应用程序。
Closing these will keep your phone running faster and longe.
关闭这些会让你的手机运行得更快更久。
Apply this principle to your life, give it a try.
把这个原则应用到你的生活中，试一试。
Thanks so much for watching.
感谢观看。
If you feel like you might be the one becoming toxic, we've got a video for that, too.
如果你觉得你可能是那个有毒的人，我们也有一个为你准备的视频。
