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Did you know there are many types of narcissism?
你知道自恋有很多种类型吗?
Because we're so used to the glaringly obvious displays of overt narcissists who are often attention-seeking loud and in your face.
因为我们已经习惯了显性自恋者的炫目表现，他们经常在你面前吵吵闹闹、寻求注意。
It's easy to overlook other types of narcissists, particularly the kind, or the covert narcissist.
我们很容易忽视其他类型的自恋者，尤其是隐性自恋者。
To avoid being fooled by their outwardly kind nature, today's video will be focused on what kind narcissism is and what to do when you interact with someone who is a kind narcissist.
为了避免被他们表面上的温和无害所欺骗，今天的视频将聚焦于什么是自恋，以及当你与善良的自恋者互动时该怎么做。
What is a kind narcissist?
什么是善良的自恋者?
Kind narcissists describe those who have the general qualities of narcissism, such as a lack of empathy, or a desire for attention, but who come off as nice, understanding, thoughtful?
善良的自恋者描述的是那些具有自恋特质的人，比如缺乏同情心、渴望被关注，但表现得很好，善解人意，体贴周到?
They're still self-serving and will approach things by looking at what and who they can use to benefit themselves the most.
他们仍自私自利，并且会通过观察他们可以利用什么和谁来使自己受益最大化。
And because of the appearance they put up, it's often difficult to notice and realize that you're really dealing with a narcissist.
因为他们的表现，你很难注意到和你打交道的是一个自恋者。
Even if you realize it, may be too late, since their facade may crack when they can no longer contain or control their sense of entitlement and selfish behaviors.
即使你意识到这一点，也可能为时已晚，因为当他们无法再控制自己的权利意识和自私行为时，他们的伪装可能会破裂。
Appearances can be deceiving.
外表具有欺骗性。
So what should you look out for？
那么你应该注意什么呢?
Signs of a kind narcissist.
善良自恋者的迹象。
According to Tanya Lester--a psychotherapist, this type of narcissism often manifests itself in a few ways,
根据心理治疗师坦尼娅·莱斯特的说法，这种类型的自恋通常以几种方式表现出来，
including not doing their fair share of housework, insisting that their needs are more important than yours and being resistant and reluctant to spend time or resources on things you enjoy.
包括不做他们应该做的家务，坚持认为他的需求比你的更重要，抗拒和不愿意把时间或资源花在你喜欢的事情上。
Perhaps they promise that they change or will put in more effort to the relationship but slack off in the end.
也许他承诺会改变，或者会为这段关系付出更多努力，但最后却摸鱼打混了。
Kind narcissists are the ones who know exactly what to say and what to do to get on your good side and convince you that what they're doing is good and right.
善良的自恋者确切地知道该说什么、该做什么来赢得你的好感，并让你相信他所做的是好的、正确的。
So if you don't want to get sweet talked into their hands, here are five things you can do when you're with them.
所以，如果你不想被他的甜言蜜语骗到手，那么当你和他相处时，你可以做以下五件事。
Number one, set boundaries.
第一，设定界限。
Are you able to tell them no?
你能拒绝他们吗?
Narcissists often won't care about respecting your time and space.
自恋者通常不在意你的时间和空间。
It's a reason it's important to set boundaries and remain steadfast about keeping them.
这就是为什么设定界限并坚定地保持界限很重要。
It's a way to communicate your principles and values and to show them what you are and are not comfortable with.
这是一种传达你的原则、价值观、向他展示你觉得舒服与不舒服的地方的方式。
By remaining vigilant about respecting your boundaries, you also show them that their strategies and methods to undermine or manipulate you won't work.
通过对尊重界限保持警惕，你也向他表明，他破坏或操纵你的策略和方法不会起作用。
Number two, speak up.
第二，直言不讳。
Are you able to speak your mind when you're with them?
当你和他在一起的时候，你能说出你的想法吗?
Narcissists will often try to silence you as a way to gain control over you.
自恋者通常会试图让你闭嘴，作为控制你的一种方式。
By being aware of this, you can remind yourself to speak up and make yourself heard.
通过意识到这一点，你可以提醒自己直言不讳，让自己的声音被听到。
Because once they know that they can't silence you, they may give up on their efforts to influence you.
因为一旦他知道无法让你沉默，他可能会放弃影响你的努力。
Number three, healthy distancing.
第三，保持健康距离。
One of the best ways to avoid falling into the narcissist trap is to keep them at an arm's length.
避免陷入自恋陷阱的最好方法之一就是和他们保持一定距离。
The least time you spend with them, the less opportunity they have to weave you into their web of lies and deceit.
你和他在一起的时间越少，他把你编织进谎言和欺骗之网的机会就越少。
So if you find yourself around a narcissistic person, try to slowly distance yourself from them.
所以，如果你发现自己身边有一个自恋的人，试着慢慢地和他们保持距离。
Number four, get help.
第四，寻求帮助。
If you're in a relationship with a narcissist and require help, there are some resources and therapists available who deal specifically with narcissistic abuse.
如果你和自恋者谈恋爱，需要帮助，有一些资源和治疗师可以专门处理自恋虐待。
Find a mental health provider or support group near you that deals with this topic if you feel like you need it.
如果你觉得需要的话，找一个附近的心理健康专家或支持团体处理这个话题。
Have you ever interacted with a narcissist before?
你以前接触过自恋者吗?
Let us know how you dealt with that situation in the comments.
请在评论中告诉我们你是如何处理这种情况的。
If you find this video helpful, be sure to like subscribe and share this video with those who might benefit from it.
如果你觉得这个视频有帮助，请订阅并与可能从中受益的人分享这个视频。
And don't forget to hit the notification bell icon to get notified whenever Psych2Go post a new video.
不要忘记点击通知铃声图标，每当Psych2Go发布新视频时就会收到通知。
The references and studies used in this video are added in the description below.
下面的描述框中添加了本视频中使用的参考文献和研究。
Thanks for watching and see you in our next video.
感谢收看，下期视频见。
