评论
打印
Have you ever met someone who seemed quiet and reserved, yet you couldn't help but feel a sense of unease around them?
你有没有遇到过这样一个人，他看起来沉默寡言，但你在他们身边却忍不住感到不安？
It's possible that you were in the presence of an introvert or maybe this could be you and you don't even know it yet.
你可能是在一个内向的人面前，或者这个人可能是你自己，而你甚至还不知道这一点。
While introverts are often misunderstood and underestimated, they possess a unique set of qualities that can be quite intimidating to others.
虽然内向的人经常被误解和低估，但他们拥有一套独特的品质，可能会让其他人感到害怕。
In this video, we'll explore some of the ways introverts can unintentionally intimidate people, and shed some light on the fascinating psychology behind it.
在这段视频中，我们将探索内向的人可能会在无意中吓到别人的一些方式，并揭示其背后令人有趣的心理。
Separate from society.
与世隔绝。
Being independent is often encouraged and rewarded in adulthood.
成年后，独立往往受到鼓励和奖励。
But wouldn't introverts choose to spend time alone on a regular basis and drift apart from the crowd?
但内向的人难道不会选择定期独处，远离人群吗？
This can be interpreted as a problem by society.
这可以被社会解读为一个问题。
People, particularly extroverts, can't fathom why anyone would want to spend so much time alone.
人们，尤其是性格外向的人，无法理解为什么会有人想要花这么多时间独处。
Psychologist and relationship coach Adamaris Mendoza says
心理学家兼人际关系教练阿达马里斯·门多萨说：
that, "sometimes being independent, having a strong mindset and personality can come off as rude and intimidating, rubbing people the wrong way."
“有时候，独立、拥有强烈的心态和个性会让人觉得粗鲁和令人生畏，会让人产生反感。”
By nature, introverts are often self-sufficient.
从本质上讲，内向的人往往是自给自足的。
They enjoy their alone time and do not necessarily need to be surrounded by other people to enjoy themselves.
他们享受独处的时光，并不一定需要周围的人来享受自己。
They do not need many friends to be happy and can be remarkably selective with their Social Circles .
他们不需要很多朋友就能快乐，而且可以对自己的社交圈非常挑剔。
Author Beth Buelow often dubbed the introvert entrepreneur, admits that introverts are pretty picky about who they allow into their lives.
作家贝丝·比洛经常被称为内向的企业家，她承认内向的人在允许谁进入他们的生活时非常挑剔。
But Buelow argues that this quality causes introverts to be loyal, attentive and committed friends.
但比洛认为，这种特质使内向的人成为忠诚、细心和忠诚的朋友。
Big brained.
脑洞大开。
In her book, "Quiet Kids, Help Your Introverted Child Succeed in an Extroverted World"
在作者兼教育心理学家克里斯汀·丰塞卡的书《安静的孩子，帮助你的内向的孩子在外向的世界中成功》中，
author and educational psychologist Christine Fonseca argues that introverts prefer the neurotransmitter called acetylcholine as opposed to dopamine.
她认为，内向的人更喜欢被称为乙酰胆碱的神经递质，而不是多巴胺。
Contrary to dopamine, acetylcholine powers our abilities to self-reflect and focus.
与多巴胺相反，乙酰胆碱增强了我们自我反省和集中注意力的能力。
Similar to how an extrovert craves dopamine, an introvert will crave acetylcholine, allowing them to absorb information faster than most others.
就像外向的人渴望多巴胺一样，内向的人也会渴望乙酰胆碱，这让他们比大多数人更快地吸收信息。
Intellectual individuals like Albert Einstein and Bill Gates are excellent examples of the intelligence and inquisitive nature many introverts possess.
像阿尔伯特·爱因斯坦和比尔·盖茨这样的知识分子是许多内向的人拥有的智力和好奇心的极好例子。
However many people are often intimidated by it.
然而，许多人经常被它吓倒。
Clinical psychologist and author of Joy from Fear, Carla Mary says, "our strongest feelings of intimidation often correspond to our own insecurities."
临床心理学家和《欢乐来自恐惧》一书的作者卡拉·玛丽说：“我们最强烈的畏惧感往往与我们自己的不安全感相对应。
For instance, if at some level, we're afraid we do not match up to someone showing a high IQ or strong insight, we often find ourselves intimidated by that same person.
例如，如果在某种程度上，我们担心自己配不上一个智商高或洞察力强的人，我们经常会发现自己被同一个人吓倒了。
We may compare ourselves to them, bringing out our insecurities and inspiring feelings of jealousy.
我们可能会把自己比作他们，带出我们的不安全感和嫉妒的感觉。
The awkward silence.
尴尬的寂静。
Not all introverts dislike small talk but most enjoy quiet time.
并不是所有内向的人都不喜欢闲聊，但大多数人都喜欢安静的时光。
They enjoy being alone with their thoughts and thinking long and hard before they speak.
他们喜欢与自己的思想独处，在说话之前认真思考很长时间。
Some people however cannot endure even small periods of silence and crave conversation, and that's not entirely anyone's fault.
然而，有些人无法忍受哪怕是一小段时间的沉默和渴望交谈，这并不完全是任何人的错。
In fact the results of a study of 580 undergraduate students undertaken between 2007 and 2012 suggested
事实上，在2007年至2012年间对580名本科生进行的一项研究结果表明，
that constant accessibility and exposure to background media have created a mass of people who fear silence.
不断接触和暴露在背景媒体中，造就了一大批害怕沉默的人。
The result of this study were consistent with the research of doctors Michael Bittman of the University of New England and Mark Sipthorp of the Australian Institute of Family Studies,
这项研究的结果与新英格兰大学的迈克尔·比特曼博士和澳大利亚家庭研究所的马克·西普索普博士的研究结果一致，
that humans need for noise and struggle with silence is a learned behavior.
即人类需要噪音，与沉默作斗争是一种习得行为。
Emotions under wraps.
隐藏情绪。
Disagreements between friends and family can be heated at times.
朋友和家人之间的分歧有时会激化。
Words are said and emotions run high.
话一出口，情绪就会高涨。
However psychology blogger and author of "Introverts in Love" Sophia Dembling, insists that introverts and extroverts approach conflict differently.
然而，心理学博客作者和《恋爱中的内向者》一书的作者索菲亚·德姆布林坚持认为，内向者和外向者处理冲突的方式不同。
Psychotherapist Nathan Fields, for example, says when an extrovert argues there may be a more wordy approach to it, a more emotional component,
例如，心理治疗师内森·菲尔兹说，当一个外向的人争辩时，可能会有一个更冗长的方法，一个更情绪化的成分，
whereas the introvert tends to be more rational and reasonable about it, feeling less comfortable experiencing the emotion and ambiguity.
而内向的人往往更理性和合理，感觉不太舒服地经历情绪和模棱两可。
This lack of emotional response can sometimes be intimidating or inhuman to people unfamiliar with it.
对于不熟悉的人来说，这种缺乏情感反应有时会令人生畏或不人道。
But please keep in mind that introverts are not always comfortable with sharing their emotions, and purposefully choose to keep them in check.
但请记住，内向的人并不总是喜欢分享自己的情绪，而是故意选择让他们保持克制。
Introverts can feel just as much as anyone else, but tend to keep their emotions in check to avoid becoming overwhelmed.
内向的人可能和其他人一样有这种感觉，但为了避免不堪重负，他们往往会控制自己的情绪。
Easy to read.
很容易读懂。
Often curious by nature, introverts are also often very observant of their surroundings, making them capable of noticing things not typically noticed by others.
性格内向的人往往天生好奇，对周围环境的观察力也很强，这让他们能够注意到别人通常不会注意到的事情。
An introvert may be able to guess your favorite color based on your clothes or may guess you have a cat or dog at home based on any dander you have on your clothes.
内向的人可能会根据你的衣服猜出你最喜欢的颜色，或者根据你衣服上的毛屑猜到你家里有一只猫或狗。
Dr Jennifer Kahnweilder, the author of "The Introverted Leader--Building on Your Quiet Strength" says
《内向的领导者--建立在你安静的力量之上》一书的作者詹妮弗·卡恩韦尔德博士说，
that the typical introvert uses his or her observant nature to read the room.
典型的内向的人用他或她敏锐的天性来察言观色。
They're more likely to notice people's body language and facial expressions, which makes them better at interpersonal communication.
他们更有可能注意到人们的肢体语言和面部表情，这使他们更善于人际沟通。
However this concentration and insight into others can be intimidating for some people.
然而，这种对他人的专注和洞察可能会让一些人望而生畏。
Whenever we catch others eyes on us, our first reaction may be to assume the person watching is silently judging us.
每当我们看到别人的目光时，我们的第一反应可能是认为正在默默地看着我们的人。
It can activate our insecurities and will need to get away from the person bringing them to the surface.
它会激发我们的不安全感，让我们需要远离把不安全感表露出来的人。
Being told you're intimidating just for being yourself can be very difficult to hear.
仅仅是因为做你自己而被告知你令人生畏，这是很难接受的。
It can be downright hurtful at times, but that is why it's important to consider how introverts function.
这有时可能会造成彻头彻尾的伤害，但这就是为什么考虑内向的人是如何发挥作用的重要原因。
No two people are guaranteed to be the same.
没有人能保证两个人是一样的。
An extrovert may want to be the center of attention while an introvert wants to avoid the spotlight.
外向的人可能想成为关注的中心，而内向的人则想要避开聚光灯。
People are built differently, and our differences may appear intimidating and unapproachable, but they also make us unique.
人的性格不同，我们的不同可能看起来令人生畏和难以接近，但它们也让我们独一无二。
If you found this video helpful, please like and share it with your friends.
如果你觉得这个视频很有帮助，请点赞并与你的朋友分享。
To learn more about introverts, check out our video, five harsh things introverts want you to know.
想要了解更多关于内向的人，请看我们的视频，内向的人想让你知道的五件残酷的事情。
Until next time, remember to hit that subscribe button to be kept up to date on our latest videos and take care.
下期节目见，记得点击订阅按钮，关注我们的最新视频，并保重。
