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每日笑话(5.11):The "Calm" Master

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The "Calm" Master

There was another master, She was born as a Golden Snail. She was sitting with the disciples one day -- together with the silver snails, the copper snails, the metal snails and the aluminum snails; the various kinds of snails according to their inner development.

They were talking in the middle of dinner or lunch, and suddenly there was an earthquake; very, very, very strong . Everyone was running as fast as a snail could; here and there, up and down, in and out. They bumped into the glass door, and everything. It was all very chaotic. The house of the snails was shaking like this and all their horns were kind of twisted together.

The earthquake lasted about three minutes in these circumstances. After the earthquake finished, everyone went back to their seats and said, "Wow, thank God that's over!"

The Master Snail was sitting there with Her horns up. (They don't have noses, they just have horns.) She just stuck Her two very long and fat horns up in the sky, and was quiet for a while until the disciples could not bear it any longer and asked the Master, "What is it?"

Because they knew every time the Master stuck Her golden horns like that, She is about to make a very grand statement, some big lecture of how to become Buddha in one second, things like that. So, they were very, very nervous and expecting. But the Master kept on sticking the horns up and didn't say anything.


Finally, the half-golden and half-silver attendant said, "Please, be compassionate, oh Master. What is it? Tell us the great thing that You have in Your mind now? Don't hesitate longer for all sentient beings are thirsty for the Truth."

So, the Master slowly descended Her horns to an ordinary level of consciousness so that all the disciples could understand. If Her horns were too high, I don't think the ordinary sentient snails could ever have caught up. Now She lowered Her horns up to here, like this and said, "Did you see I was very calm during the earthquake?"

All the snails said, "Oh, yes, Master! Oh, yes!" The Master continued further, after a pause so that people felt more appreciative, "Did you see that I didn't run here and there like all of you fools?" The disciples said, "Of course, of course." And all their horns clapped together in unison to praise the Master.

Now the Master Snail said, "Did you see that I calmly sat here, sipping tea while you were running here and there like that?"

The disciples said, "Yes, we saw You calmly sitting here drinking, but that was the soy sauce that You drink, not the tea."

"镇定"的师父

以前曾有一位师父,她投生成为一只金蜗牛。有一天,她和徒弟们聚在一起,根据内在的发展程度,他们之中有银蜗牛、铜蜗牛、铁蜗牛、铝蜗牛等各种蜗牛。大家正在聚餐聊天。忽然像发生了非常、非常、非常强烈的地震.所有的蜗牛都尽其所能的以最快速度奔跑,跑来跑去、跑上跑下、跑进跑出,撞在玻璃门上和其它东西上面,场面非常混乱。蜗牛们的房子像这样震颤着,触角也缠绕在一起,在这种情形之下,地震持续了大约三分钟之久。

地震过去之后,每只蜗牛都回到原来的座位上,他们说:「哎唷!感谢上帝,终于过去了!」

「蜗牛师父」坐在那里,触角高高竖起(蜗牛没有鼻子,只有触角),又长又胖的触角,竖在空中,她一直沉默不语。徒弟们忍不住了,问师父说:「怎么了?」

他们知道,每次师父把她的金触角这样竖起来,她就会发表非常重大的开示、伟大的讲经,或是如何在一秒钟内成佛之类的事情。

所以他们非常、非常、非常紧张并急切地期待着,但师父只是竖起触角,什么也不说。

最后半金半银的蜗牛侍者说:「请求师父慈悲开示,告诉我们您现在想到的重大事情。为了所有渴望真理的众生,请您不要再迟疑。」

因此师父慢慢把触角升到一般情况的高度,好让所有徒弟都能听懂;因为如果她的触角太高的话,普通的蜗牛会听不懂;所以她把触角降低下来,然后说:「你们有没有看见,地震的时候我是多么的平静?」

所有蜗牛都说:「哦!有,师父!有!」

师父停顿一下,为使大家更佩服,她继续说:「你们有没有看见,我并没有像你们这些傻瓜一样跑来跑去?」

徒弟们答道:「当然,当然。」他们的触角都拍在一起来赞美师父。

然后师父说:「你们那样跑来跑去时,有没有看见我平静地坐在这里喝茶?」

徒弟们回答:「有,我们看见您平静地坐在这里喝饮料,不过…您喝的是酱油,不是茶。」

重点单词   查看全部解释    
chaotic [kei'ɔtik]

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adj. 混乱的

联想记忆
consciousness ['kɔnʃəsnis]

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n. 意识,知觉,自觉,觉悟

联想记忆
sentient ['senʃənt]

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adj. 有知觉的,知悉的

联想记忆
earthquake ['ə:θkweik]

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n. 地震

 
compassionate [kəm'pæʃənit]

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adj. 有同情心的 vt. 同情

 
minutes ['minits]

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n. 会议记录,(复数)分钟

 
attendant [ə'tendənt]

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adj. 伴随的
n. 服务员,侍从,伴随物,

联想记忆
twisted ['twistid]

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adj. 扭曲的 v. 扭动(twist的过去式)

 
understand [.ʌndə'stænd]

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vt. 理解,懂,听说,获悉,将 ... 理解为,认为<

 
aluminum [ə'lju:minəm]

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n. 铝

 


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