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She watched Bissell's paranoia grow to the point that, when he slept, he kept a hatchet under the bed and a knife under his pillow. He would stand by the apartment door for hours with a can of Mace to fend off imagined intruders.
她注意到比斯尔的妄想症加剧。在他睡觉时，床下放着一把短柄手斧，枕下放着一把刀。他还常常一连几个小时站在公寓房门旁，手里拿着一罐催泪瓦斯，准备抵御想象中的闯入者。
In 1981, only three years into his career, Bissell slashed his wrist. When the paramedics reached him, Bissell smashed a bottle to use for a weapon and fought them off. Next day, he was bandaged and back onstage.
1981年，这是比斯尔的事业刚刚开始的第三年，他割腕了。当医护人员走近他时，他打碎了一只瓶子当作武器，把他们赶走了。第二天，他扎着绷带回到了舞台上。
By this time, he and Kirkland were clearly out of control—spending weeks on cocaine binges. Increasingly they were absent from rehearsals and late for performances. Both were fired from their jobs, rehired and fired again. In the end, Gelsey Kirkland sought help.
到这时，他和柯克兰显然已无法自拔——连续几个星期都在狂吸可卡因。他们不参加排练，演出迟到，并且次数越来越多。两人都被解雇了，之后得到重新聘用，又再次被解雇。格尔西·柯克兰最终寻求了帮助。
Patrick Bissell did not.
帕特里克·比斯尔却没有这样做。
In the fall of 1987, the ballet company sent Bissell away for reatment—to the Betty Ford Center in California. He told friends that he was ready to clear up his life. He wanted a fresh start.
1987年秋天，芭蕾舞公司送比斯尔去治疗——到加利福尼亚州的贝蒂福特中心。他告诉朋友们，他准备戒毒，想重新开始生活。
He was released a week early and returned to New York. During December, Amy Rose, a ballerina he had become engaged to, was on tour in California and would return to New York after the holidays. Alone, Bissell got a Christmas tree and decorated it for their apartment.
他提前一星期就被放了出来，回到了纽约。12月，与他订婚的女芭蕾舞演员埃米·罗斯去加利福尼亚州旅行，并将在假期结束后回到纽约。于是比斯尔独自一人去买了一棵圣诞树，将公寓装饰起来。
On December 23, he had a long telephone conversation with his parents. His mother begged him to join them at home. He declined, explaining that being alone during Christmas was a chance for him to show that he was strong enough to live without cocaine.
12月23日，他和父母进行了电话长谈。母亲恳求他回家一块过节，但他拒绝了。他解释说，一个人的圣诞节使他有机会证明自己已经十分坚强，离开可卡因也可以生活下去。
