咱们生活中常有这样的人：能力强，热心肠，点子多，可就是听不得别人说“不”。给这种人提意见，很难被采纳。因为他们不喜欢 - give and take.

大家一定都知道give是给的意思，take则是“拿”，give and take有给有拿，引伸为“有商有量”，妥协折衷。Those who don't appreciate give and take are not likely to listen to others. 那些不喜欢妥协折衷的人不太可能听取别人的意见。

在下面的例子中，我们要听一听，在夫妻相处之道中，是不是也需要一些妥协。

It's natural for couples to argue once in a while. But whether those two people will have a long future together often depends on how well they work out their differences. Conflicts shouldn't always be about one person being right and the other wrong. There has to be a healthy give and take. Without that ability to negotiate, couples can't survive.

这段话是说: 夫妻间有时发生争吵是很正常的。但是两人是否能长久地一起生活下去通常取决于他们能不能调和彼此间的差异。在有冲突时，并不一定要分出谁对谁错。俩人之间必须有健康的商量妥协。如果俩人都不肯低头，那日子过不长久。

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很多幸福夫妻都说，过日子的秘诀是宽容对方的缺点，而不是争辩是非对错。英文里有句话叫, my way or the highway! 意思就是“不按我说的做就拉倒!”，大有顺我者昌逆我者亡的意味。

要是按照这个原则去经营婚姻，恐怖得一路打到离婚。

Do you negotiate with others or do you feel that give and take is a sign of weakness? 你会和别人妥协么？还是觉得和别人商量就等于服软？其实，遇事和他人有商有量，达成大家都喜欢的结果，对一个团队是非常有益的。

下面这个句子就是一例，我们来听听:

Our labor union has few complaints with the managers of our factory. That's because everyone works pretty well together. Whenever there's a conflict, we sit down together and discuss the best way to deal with it. Each side is willing to let the other get some of what it wants. That give and take makes for a much better environment.

这段话意思是说：我们的工会从来不会收到对工厂管理人员的投诉。这是因为大家共事得相当愉快。每次有矛盾出现时，我们都坐下讨论最好的解决办法。每一方都愿意让另外一方达到部分目的。这种凡事有商有量的方式营造了一个更优良的环境。

这种相互尊重的态度往往能带来双赢的结果。不是说偏听则暗，兼信则明么。