Friends老友记 Episode 1011:The One Where The Stripper Cries
Joey: Oh!
(The third word is ketchup)
Gene: You put this on a hamburger!
Joey: Ketchup!
Gene: Yes!
(The fourth word is soda)
Joey: Relish!
Gene: Stop!
Joey: Oh.
Donny: Oh, time's up! Joey! You were, uh, almost on a roll there...
Joey: Yeah...
Donny: Uh, Gene, you're gonna have a chance to go to the winner circle in the second half. But right now Henrietta you are going to the winner circle to try your luck for ten thousand dollars, right after this, don't go away.
Stage Manager : And we're out!
Joey: Oh, so we didn't win, but it's fun to play the game, right?
Gene: Hey! I got a kid starting college. I've to get surgery on my knee, you just lost me ten grand!
Joey: Oh, wow! I'm so sorry, ok? I promise, we'll do better next time!
Gene: Well, I will, because I won't be playing with you.
Joey: Hey, you know, some of those are pretty hard! Like why would there be a ghost in my fridge? (pause) . Yeah!
[Scene: College reunion party. Ross is talking to Missy.]
Ross: So, Saturday night!
Missy: I'd love to!
Ross: Great!
Missy: So how come it took you so long to ask me out?
Ross: Oh, well, uh, this is gonna sound kinda silly, but, do you remember my roommate Chandler Bing?
Missy: Sure, he was in your "band"? (she air quotes band)
Ross: It's been sixteen years but the air quotes still hurt.
Missy: Sorry.
Ross: That's ok. Uh, anyway, well he and I both really liked you a lot, uhm, but we didn't want anything to jeopardize our friendship, so we kinda made a pact, that neither of us could ask you out!
Missy: Really?
Ross: Yeah, why?
Missy: Well, Chandler and I used to make out! A lot!
Ross: You did?
Missy: Yeah. We'd go to the science lab after hours!
Ross: (angrily) AND ON MY TURF?
[Scene: Monica's apartment. The bachelorette party.]
Monica: (to Rachel) Hey, where is this guy, it's been over an hour!
Rachel: Well, he's coming from Jersey, he said he would get here as fast as he could!
(someone knocks at the door)
Monica: Who is it?
Man: It's the police!
Rachel: (pretends to be shocked) Uh! The police!
Phoebe: (Excited, running back to her seat) Oh!
Man: That's right, it's officer Goodbody.
Monica: What's the matter, officer? Has someone been bad? (looks over to Phoebe and she opens the door, and to their dismay, the stripper is an old, short, fat guy who looks exhausted)
Roy, the male stripper: (coughs) Whoo, that's a lot of stairs!
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Roy: Ooh, boy. You should warn people there's no elevator! I should not have had that Mexican food for lunch.
Monica: Are you gonna be ok, officer, uhm,...
Roy: Goodbody!
Monica: ...If-you-say-so.
Roy: So where's the young lady who I'm supposed to take (he shakes his hips) downtown! (Monica points Phoebe)
Phoebe: Oh, God!
Roy: All right, somebody show me where to plug in my box, and we'll get this party started! (he thrusts his pelvis towards Phoebe) Whaaaa... (walks back to plug in his cd player) Here? All right.
Phoebe: Rachel?
Rachel: Yeah?
Phoebe: Are you kidding?
Rachel: All right, look, we did not know that you wanted a stripper so we went to the phonebook and we got the first name we could find!
Phoebe: How old is your phonebook?
Monica: Oh my God, this man is gonna get naked in my apartment!
Phoebe: Oh God no, I don't wanna see him take his clothes off!
Roy: Are you talking about me?
Monica: Oh, no! I mean, obviously we want to see you take your clothes off! You big piece of eye candy!
Roy: Ok, ok, ladies! Can I have your attention, please? (pause) Did someone call for the long arm of the law? (He extends his arm from around his crotch and then upward and outward, towards Phoebe) I should warn you, I have a concealed weapon! (Puts his hands over his crotch) I hope you're familiar with the States penal code, ok, ok, enough teasing. Now for some pleasing!
(he uses his remote to turn on the music, "Tain
(The third word is ketchup)
Gene: You put this on a hamburger!
Joey: Ketchup!
Gene: Yes!
(The fourth word is soda)
Joey: Relish!
Gene: Stop!
Joey: Oh.
Donny: Oh, time's up! Joey! You were, uh, almost on a roll there...
Joey: Yeah...
Donny: Uh, Gene, you're gonna have a chance to go to the winner circle in the second half. But right now Henrietta you are going to the winner circle to try your luck for ten thousand dollars, right after this, don't go away.
Stage Manager : And we're out!
Joey: Oh, so we didn't win, but it's fun to play the game, right?
Gene: Hey! I got a kid starting college. I've to get surgery on my knee, you just lost me ten grand!
Joey: Oh, wow! I'm so sorry, ok? I promise, we'll do better next time!
Gene: Well, I will, because I won't be playing with you.
Joey: Hey, you know, some of those are pretty hard! Like why would there be a ghost in my fridge? (pause) . Yeah!
[Scene: College reunion party. Ross is talking to Missy.]
Ross: So, Saturday night!
Missy: I'd love to!
Ross: Great!
Missy: So how come it took you so long to ask me out?
Ross: Oh, well, uh, this is gonna sound kinda silly, but, do you remember my roommate Chandler Bing?
Missy: Sure, he was in your "band"? (she air quotes band)
Ross: It's been sixteen years but the air quotes still hurt.
Missy: Sorry.
Ross: That's ok. Uh, anyway, well he and I both really liked you a lot, uhm, but we didn't want anything to jeopardize our friendship, so we kinda made a pact, that neither of us could ask you out!
Missy: Really?
Ross: Yeah, why?
Missy: Well, Chandler and I used to make out! A lot!
Ross: You did?
Missy: Yeah. We'd go to the science lab after hours!
Ross: (angrily) AND ON MY TURF?
[Scene: Monica's apartment. The bachelorette party.]
Monica: (to Rachel) Hey, where is this guy, it's been over an hour!
Rachel: Well, he's coming from Jersey, he said he would get here as fast as he could!
(someone knocks at the door)
Monica: Who is it?
Man: It's the police!
Rachel: (pretends to be shocked) Uh! The police!
Phoebe: (Excited, running back to her seat) Oh!
Man: That's right, it's officer Goodbody.
Monica: What's the matter, officer? Has someone been bad? (looks over to Phoebe and she opens the door, and to their dismay, the stripper is an old, short, fat guy who looks exhausted)
Roy, the male stripper: (coughs) Whoo, that's a lot of stairs!
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Roy: Ooh, boy. You should warn people there's no elevator! I should not have had that Mexican food for lunch.
Monica: Are you gonna be ok, officer, uhm,...
Roy: Goodbody!
Monica: ...If-you-say-so.
Roy: So where's the young lady who I'm supposed to take (he shakes his hips) downtown! (Monica points Phoebe)
Phoebe: Oh, God!
Roy: All right, somebody show me where to plug in my box, and we'll get this party started! (he thrusts his pelvis towards Phoebe) Whaaaa... (walks back to plug in his cd player) Here? All right.
Phoebe: Rachel?
Rachel: Yeah?
Phoebe: Are you kidding?
Rachel: All right, look, we did not know that you wanted a stripper so we went to the phonebook and we got the first name we could find!
Phoebe: How old is your phonebook?
Monica: Oh my God, this man is gonna get naked in my apartment!
Phoebe: Oh God no, I don't wanna see him take his clothes off!
Roy: Are you talking about me?
Monica: Oh, no! I mean, obviously we want to see you take your clothes off! You big piece of eye candy!
Roy: Ok, ok, ladies! Can I have your attention, please? (pause) Did someone call for the long arm of the law? (He extends his arm from around his crotch and then upward and outward, towards Phoebe) I should warn you, I have a concealed weapon! (Puts his hands over his crotch) I hope you're familiar with the States penal code, ok, ok, enough teasing. Now for some pleasing!
(he uses his remote to turn on the music, "Tain
