Friends老友记 Episode 1012:The One With Phoebe's Wedding
artender is not? Are you, are you FREAKING KIDDING ME!?
Monica: (enjoying what she's seeing) How's it going?
Phoebe: (to Monica) Help me.
Monica: What?
Phoebe: I want you to be Crazy Bitch again.
Monica: (Sounds moved) Really?
Phoebe: (Nearly in tears) Please?
Monica: You really want me to come back?
Phoebe: More than I wanna get married.
Monica: Ok people, we are back in business! (Gets her headset out of her purse) Oh God, we've missed you soo much! (takes all the notes from Phoebe) Ok, go and get your hair and make-up done, and I'll take care of everything.
(Joey walks in)
Joey: Hey, what are you guys gonna do?
Phoebe: (sounds scared already) About what?
Joey: The blizzard. I just saw on the news, it's like the worst snow storm in 20 years! They already closed all the bridges and tunnels. (Opens the curtains to reveal a snow storm outside)
Monica: Ooh! But the band and the photographer are coming all the way in from New Jersey!
Joey: I don't think they are.
Ross: (to Rachel) Haha! Looks like you're not going to be in the wedding either. (Looks at Phoebe) So sorry Pheebs.
[Scene: Monica's apartment. They are all sitting around.]
Monica: (Putting down her phone) Well, the club lost it's power.
Joey: Yeah according to the news, most of the city did.
Rachel: Since when do you watch the news?
Joey: Uh, for your information, since they hired a very hot weather girl.
Ross: (To Phoebe and Mike) I can't believe you guys aren't going to be able to get married today.
Phoebe: I know.
Rachel: Wow, you know, it's so beautiful out there. You always wanted to get married outside. Why don't you guys just do it on the street?
Phoebe: What?
Rachel: Well, look, it's hardly snowing anymore. I mean you couldn't ask for a more romantic setting. This could be the simple wedding you've always wanted!
Phoebe: (Turning to Mike) What do you think?
Mike: I think I wanna get married to you today.
Phoebe: Me too! (turning to Monica) Monica, do you think we could do it?
Monica: (thinking) AFFIRMATIVE!
[Scene: Outside. They are a bunch of people arranging chairs, shoveling snow and making other preparations.]
Monica: (walking around with her headset still on) OK LET'S GET THESE CHAIRS OUT HERE! Gunther, hit the Christmas lights. (He does so and the lights above the chairs light up. Monica looks satisfied) Okay, who left the ice sculpture (picks up a piece of ice from the ground) ON THE STEAM GRATE? (nobody answers)
Mike's mom: Michael!
Mike: Hey! You made it. Great! Chappy! Hi! (kisses his dad) Hi! (kisses his mom) Mom, I know getting married in the street isn't something you approve of...
Mike's mom: No... It's lovely. The lights and the snow. I could look at them forever.
Mike's dad: (leans in towards Mike) I crushed a pill and put it in her drink... (to his wife) Come on, sweetheart.
Mike: (to Chandler and Ross) You know, Chappy's too small to handle all this snow. Someone's gonna have to walk him down the aisle.
Chandler: So technically, would this person be in the wedding?
Mike: I guess.
Chandler and Ross: I'll do it!
Ross: No, but Chandler, hello... Aren't you scared of dogs?
Chandler: I'm not scared. (moves towards Mike and Chappy) I'll just take little Chappy and... (he backs out) HE CAN SENSE MY FEAR. MY THROAT IS EXPOSED.
Ross: (takes Chappy from Mike) Well, I guess I'm in the wedding then. Ha haaa... (smells Chappy) He stinks!
Monica: Level 1 alert. I repeat, level 1. This is not a drill. Okay we've got a situation. The minister just called. He's snowed in. He can't make it.
Mike: Oh, no!
Joey: Oh hey, don't worry. I'm still ordained from your wedding.
Monica: Really?
Joey: Yeah, you'd think I'd give up being a minister and start paying to ride the subway? Uhh-uh...
Ross: Uhm, ministers don't ride the subway for free.
Joey: I had to read the Bible pretty carefully, but... yeah we do.
Monica: (enjoying what she's seeing) How's it going?
Phoebe: (to Monica) Help me.
Monica: What?
Phoebe: I want you to be Crazy Bitch again.
Monica: (Sounds moved) Really?
Phoebe: (Nearly in tears) Please?
Monica: You really want me to come back?
Phoebe: More than I wanna get married.
Monica: Ok people, we are back in business! (Gets her headset out of her purse) Oh God, we've missed you soo much! (takes all the notes from Phoebe) Ok, go and get your hair and make-up done, and I'll take care of everything.
(Joey walks in)
Joey: Hey, what are you guys gonna do?
Phoebe: (sounds scared already) About what?
Joey: The blizzard. I just saw on the news, it's like the worst snow storm in 20 years! They already closed all the bridges and tunnels. (Opens the curtains to reveal a snow storm outside)
Monica: Ooh! But the band and the photographer are coming all the way in from New Jersey!
Joey: I don't think they are.
Ross: (to Rachel) Haha! Looks like you're not going to be in the wedding either. (Looks at Phoebe) So sorry Pheebs.
[Scene: Monica's apartment. They are all sitting around.]
Monica: (Putting down her phone) Well, the club lost it's power.
Joey: Yeah according to the news, most of the city did.
Rachel: Since when do you watch the news?
Joey: Uh, for your information, since they hired a very hot weather girl.
Ross: (To Phoebe and Mike) I can't believe you guys aren't going to be able to get married today.
Phoebe: I know.
Rachel: Wow, you know, it's so beautiful out there. You always wanted to get married outside. Why don't you guys just do it on the street?
Phoebe: What?
Rachel: Well, look, it's hardly snowing anymore. I mean you couldn't ask for a more romantic setting. This could be the simple wedding you've always wanted!
Phoebe: (Turning to Mike) What do you think?
Mike: I think I wanna get married to you today.
Phoebe: Me too! (turning to Monica) Monica, do you think we could do it?
Monica: (thinking) AFFIRMATIVE!
[Scene: Outside. They are a bunch of people arranging chairs, shoveling snow and making other preparations.]
Monica: (walking around with her headset still on) OK LET'S GET THESE CHAIRS OUT HERE! Gunther, hit the Christmas lights. (He does so and the lights above the chairs light up. Monica looks satisfied) Okay, who left the ice sculpture (picks up a piece of ice from the ground) ON THE STEAM GRATE? (nobody answers)
Mike's mom: Michael!
Mike: Hey! You made it. Great! Chappy! Hi! (kisses his dad) Hi! (kisses his mom) Mom, I know getting married in the street isn't something you approve of...
Mike's mom: No... It's lovely. The lights and the snow. I could look at them forever.
Mike's dad: (leans in towards Mike) I crushed a pill and put it in her drink... (to his wife) Come on, sweetheart.
Mike: (to Chandler and Ross) You know, Chappy's too small to handle all this snow. Someone's gonna have to walk him down the aisle.
Chandler: So technically, would this person be in the wedding?
Mike: I guess.
Chandler and Ross: I'll do it!
Ross: No, but Chandler, hello... Aren't you scared of dogs?
Chandler: I'm not scared. (moves towards Mike and Chappy) I'll just take little Chappy and... (he backs out) HE CAN SENSE MY FEAR. MY THROAT IS EXPOSED.
Ross: (takes Chappy from Mike) Well, I guess I'm in the wedding then. Ha haaa... (smells Chappy) He stinks!
Monica: Level 1 alert. I repeat, level 1. This is not a drill. Okay we've got a situation. The minister just called. He's snowed in. He can't make it.
Mike: Oh, no!
Joey: Oh hey, don't worry. I'm still ordained from your wedding.
Monica: Really?
Joey: Yeah, you'd think I'd give up being a minister and start paying to ride the subway? Uhh-uh...
Ross: Uhm, ministers don't ride the subway for free.
Joey: I had to read the Bible pretty carefully, but... yeah we do.
