Passage 50 How to Win Friends and Influence People
On Saturday morning, April 15, 1865, Abraham Lincoln lay dying in a hall bedroom of a cheap lodging house directly across the street from Ford's Theater, where Booth had shot him. As Lincoln lay dying, people said, "There lies the most perfect ruler of men that the world has ever seen." What was the secret of Lincoln's success in dealing with men? I studied the life of Abraham Lincoln for ten years, and devoted all of three years to writing and rewriting a book entitled Lincoln the Unknown. I believe I have made as detailed and exhaustive a study of Lincoln's personality and home life as it is possible for any human being to make. I made a special study of Lincoln's method of dealing with men. Did he indulge in criticism? Oh, yes. He not only criticized but he wrote letters and poems ridiculing people and dropped these letters on the country roads where they were sure to be found. One of these letters aroused resentments that burned for a lifetime. In the autumn of 1842, he ridiculed a vain Irish politician by the name of James Shields. Shields, sensitive and proud, boiled with indignation. He challenged Lincoln to fight a duel. Lincoln didn't want to fight, but he couldn't get out of it and save his honor. On the appointed day, he and Shields prepared to fight to the death, but at the last minute, their seconds interrupted and stopped the duel. This accident taught Lincoln an invaluable lesson in the art of dealing with people. Never again did he write an insulting letter. Never again did he ridicule anyone. And from that time on, he almost never criticized anybody for anything. Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain —and most fools do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving. A great man shows his greatness by the way he treats little man.