SAT经典范文赏析

Eminem
Peter J. Another example of this universal truth is shown through the story of Eminem.Throughout his life Marshall Mathers had been discriminated against,growing up in a town where he was the only white kid on the block.Furthermore Eminem aspired to be a famous rapper.Finally after a year of being addicted to cocaine Marshall found the key to his success.Since he could't be like all other black rappers,he used a combination of his creativity and anger to create some of the most influential rap lyrics in the history of the concept.In 1995,he released his first album the Slim Shady LP which was a huge hit.When later asked about the key to his success he said that he all he did was kept his head high and believed that he could achieve his goal eventually.

点评：
为了文章的丰富性，Peter 在中间加上了一个白人说唱家，只有这样才是最合适的了。大量精美的从句和过渡出现在段落中。该段句子结构多样化，除了开头外，没有一句话是以主语开头的。如”Throughout...Furthermore...Finally...Since...In...When”，语法丰富，用词优美流畅。