SAT经典范文赏析

社区服务Community Service
Amanda M. A final illustration of the notion that plans may go wrong is seen through my experience in my community service group. Last spring I was head of the entertainment and activities committee in the Moraga Youth Involvement Committee. We decided that it would be fun to plan a movie night featuring, The Incredibles, in the Moraga Commons Park on a weekend in late May. As a group we began planning the event early March gathering donations for the concession stand, finding a projection screen and sound system, and making sure that our event was publicized well to gather a promising crowd. Everything was in order and ready to go the day of the event when my commissioner received a phone call from an employee from Disney. The Disney employee explained that in order to show a film produced by Disney we needed to sign a $500 release form two weeks prior to the event. Unfortunately we had been unaware of the form and were forced to cancel the event. Even though we were certain that the event was a sure success, we skipped a very important detail in order to make the night become a reality.

点评：Amanda在本段中讨论的是现实世界中的经济问题，有很多令人印象深刻的细节。句子结构很丰富，过渡词用得也很巧妙。我喜欢她一开始用“我”，然后迅速扩展成了“我们”，这样就把一段个人经历的含义扩大了。