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First dates are always nerve-wracking -- that's a given. So many questions! Where will we go? What if I'm gassy? Should I let him pay or should I offer to split the tab? What will we talk about? Will he like me? More importantly, will I like him?
第一次约会总是很紧张的，这是肯定的。你会有很多问题：我们去哪？他觉得我没内涵咋办？我是让他请还是各付各的？跟他说点啥？他会喜欢我吗？更重要的是，我会喜欢他吗？
All valid queries, but possibly the most pressing question any of us worry about is, what in the hell am I going to wear?
在我们担心的所有问题里，最正常但可能也是最有压力的一个是，我到底应该穿啥？
I am not a fashionista. Let me get that right out of the way. My jeans are Levi's and the only Prada I own was purchased off eBay. As I write this, I'm wearing a Gap T-shirt covered in cat hair and yellow ankle socks with bumblebees embroidered on them.
我也不是啥时尚达人。咱就直接说了，我的牛仔裤是Levi's，唯一一个Prada还是eBay上买的。我写这篇文章的时候，我穿的是Gap大卖场的T恤，上面粘的都是猫毛，一双有大黄蜂团的黄色短袜。
But while I don't know where hemlines are headed or what color will be the new black next season, I do have a handle on what you shouldn't wear on a date -- especially a first date.
不过就算我不知道裙摆应该朝哪边，啥颜色会进入下一季的黑名单，我的的确确知道你约会不能穿啥，尤其是第一次约会的时候。
Under where?
内衣穿啥？
Bad underwear isn't necessarily ugly or old. It's the bra that pushes your boobies up beautifully, but pinches your underarm chub. It's the boyshorts you paid $50 for, but ride up your butt crack every time you climb a stair.
不是只有难看的或者旧的内裤才是糟糕的。就算你的内衣可以很好的衬托出你的胸型，把你腋下的肉挤得跟鲑鱼似的也不行。你可能花了50块钱买了条低腰平脚短裤，但是每次你爬个台阶你的屁屁都快裂开了，这都是糟糕的。
And yes, sexy Underoos can make a girl feel sassy, but that effect is lost when you're constantly digging elastic out of your behind.
是，性感型的能让一姑娘觉得自己挺时髦的，不过你总得去拽后边的松紧带的话，就啥效果都没了。
