And a piece of good advice for everyone who looks on giving constructive criticism as a kind of sacred duty: "Always praising."

"Made sure I had everything I needed," she goes on to write.

After that she has turned over the paper and added: "Warmth. Humour. Kindness. Thoughtfulness." And then she writes about the husband she has lived with and loved the most of her life: "Always there for me when I needed you."
The last words she wrote sum up all the others. I can see her for me where she adds thoughtfully: "Good friend."

接下来一句对于那些喜欢给对方一些建设性批评的人很有借鉴作用，他们以为批评是一种神圣的责任，其实不然：“总是会夸奖我。”

“总是可以让我得到我想要的。”她紧接着写到。

这句之后她翻过纸在背面补充到：“热情、幽默、善良、体贴。”而她最爱这个和她生活的丈夫的一点是：“他总是会在你需要的时候出现。”

I stand beside John now, and cannot even pretend to know how it feels to lose someone who is as close to me as Janet was to him. I need to hear what he has to say much more than he needs to talk.

"John," I ask. "How do you stick together with someone through 38 years -- not to mention the sickness? How do I know if I can bear to stand by my wife's side if she becomes sick one day?"

"You can," he says quietly. "If you love her enough, you can."

我站在约翰的身边，我不能装作我知道失去至爱的感受，就像约翰失去珍妮特一样。我想听一听他真正想说的是什么，而不是那些他不得不说的套话。

我说：“约翰，即使不说癌症的那些日子，你怎么可以和一个人生活38年毫无厌倦呢？如果有一天我的妻子也得病，我怎么知道自己能不能一直守候在她的身边呢？”

他平静地说：“你一定可以，只要你爱得够深。”