As time moved on my grief and anger at his untimely death began to recede. I realised that his affirmation of me from his deathbed had filled a gaping hole of insecurity I had constantly carried around.
时光荏苒，父亲过早离世带给我的悲伤和气愤开始逐渐减弱。而我也意识到父亲在临终病床上给我的肯定让常年困扰着我的不安全感烟消云散。

To a child a hug says so many things. It tells you that the person hugging you loves you, cares for you. A hug also confirms that you are a lovable being. Months after Dad's death I realised with a jolt that his lack of hugs said more about him than me. My father was not a demonstrative man and I was, therefore, perhaps, a lovable being.
拥抱对一个孩子来说意味着很多。它表示拥抱你的那个人爱你、关心你。同时它也证明你是个讨人喜欢的孩子。父亲过世几个月后，我猛然意识到父亲很少拥抱别人更多是性格所致。他不是个善于表达的人，所以……可能……我是父亲喜欢的孩子。

Once I digested this insight my feelings changed from those of a needy child to ones of a very proud daughter. Looking at my father more objectively allowed me to view him clearly: he was a man of few words; he was intelligent, kind and extremely modest. Ironically I began to feel closer to him in death than I had while he was alive.
一旦我领悟了这点，我感觉自己一下从一个贪婪的小孩变成了一个骄傲的女儿。更客观地看待父亲让我更透彻地了解他：他是个少言寡语的人；他很聪明、善良而且极其谦虚。让人讽刺的是，我甚至开始觉得我和他现在的关系比他生前时更亲密。

With this new-found wisdom came the freedom to give up trying so very hard to gain the affections of others and to concentrate on finding me. I shattered the family taboo of silence about the break-up of my parents' marriage. I also felt the need to speak out about the detrimental effect I felt my step-parents had had on my life.
这个新发现的人生智慧为我重新诠释了自由的定义，我不会再费尽艰辛地去赢取他人的欢心，更不会再以自我为中心。我打破了家人对父母破碎婚姻三缄其口的家庭禁忌。我也觉得有必要大声告诉我的继父母他们曾对我的生活造成的不利影响。

In some ways the consequences have been quite dire and I no longer have contact with my mother. However, Dad's hug had a profound effect on me. It carried me along a path from childhood to adulthood. At last I am my own woman and one who loves nothing better than a good old-fashioned hug.
在某些方面，这可能会造成非常可怕的后果，以致后来母亲和我断了联系。 然而，父亲的拥抱对我有着深远的影响。它带着我走过了从孩童到成人的心路历程。最终，我找到了属于自己的真正自我， 而我同时也是一个最爱老式拥抱的女人。