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I hope you'll excuse the pointed title, and I sincerely hope your relationship is not falling apart, but if you have ever found yourself in dire straits in a relationship (as we all do), chances are that the trouble can be traced back to one or a few of these issues. If your relationship is all rainbows and sunshine dust, fantastic—this list will just be some good food for thought.
我由衷希望读者能够原谅这唐突的标题，也希望你们的感情并未破裂，但如果属于你的这段关系正处于困境（我们所有人都会经历），你仍然可以抓住机会追溯其中的一个或数个同类问题来解决麻烦。可如果你的感情一片光明美好，妙极了---这些建议还能给你补充思想的能量。
You're not listening
你没有用心听
I'm not talking about you being glued to the TV while your partner is pouring his/her heart out. If that's the case, it should be pretty obvious there is a problem.
我并不是说当你的伴侣在诉说衷肠时，你却一头扎进电视里。如果真是这样，那问题就再明显不过了。
Many of us believe we are listening when what we're actually doing is anxiously and impatiently waiting for our turn to speak. When we “listen” from this perspective, we are not truly listening: we are resisting the anger, despair, anxiety, fear etc. inside of us.
当我们正在焦虑又不耐烦地等发言机会时，大多数人都一口咬定自己正在倾听。若我们持续这个状态，那我们就并非真正地在倾听：只是在拒绝内心的愤怒、焦躁、恐惧等等。
True listening requires awareness of what is going on inside. Only when we are conscious of our inner-workings can we truly hear another person.
真正的倾听包括懂得内心所发生的一切。只有当我们了解了内心所想后，才能听见他人的声音。
The next time you find yourself listening to your partner, whether in an argument or otherwise, see if you can notice what you're feeling and thinking in response without having to speak immediately. See if you can allow your significant other to really be heard. Then, accept what's going on inside you, no matter what the thought or emotion. From there you can speak with rational and relative calm, which brings me to my next point.
无论是争吵还是其他事情，当下回你发现自己在倾听对方的时候，问自己是否察觉到了自己的所想所感，而不要急着去争辩。看自己是否真的能听见另一半的心声。然后，无论是出自怎样的想法和情绪，都要接受内心的自我。这样一来你就可以相对理性地回答对方，接着就是我给读者的下一个建议。
