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According to Arnold Schwarzenegger's autobiography, Total Recall, after he committed adultery with his housekeeper, he denied to his wife Maria Shriver that the child was his -- because he "didn't know" he was the father. Having both lied and cheated, there's little room for doubt that Arnold had wronged his wife.
斯瓦辛格在自传中回忆道“当他和和自己的女管家发生关系并另其怀孕以后，他在自己的妻子面前抵赖自己不是孩子他爸——因为他“什么都不知道”。阿诺的出轨并撒谎毫无疑问深深地伤害了妻子。
When, years later, Maria confronted him in the therapist's office with concerns that the governess's child looked an awful lot like him, his tactic was to finally reveal the truth. Then he offered an apology: "I told her how sorry I felt about it, how wrong it was, and that it was my fault. I just unloaded everything."
几年以后，妻子和阿诺在婚姻治疗师的办公室里再次面对往事，妻子提出女管家的孩子与阿诺极像时，阿诺终于承认自己做过的荒唐事，然后向妻子道歉：“我告诉她我有多后悔做下这样的事，我承认自己的错误，之后我感觉到自己终于轻松了。”
Arnold's case, while headline grabbing, is not unique. When couples struggle with the complications of infidelity, there's a lot of work to be done; part of that work involves owning up to an affair and offering an apology. And an apology isn't easy; it is a complex form of communication.
阿诺的这个丑闻绝对是新闻头条，然而这却是很多人生活里面容易犯的错。当婚姻被婚外情所困扰时，我们需要做很多来让婚姻重回正轨。承认出轨和道歉是必须要做的两件事。这个时候的道歉就不是一件简单的事了，这个道歉将成为你和爱人间复杂的沟通。
In order for an apology to be an effective means of communication, it must include five steps. These steps don't apply just to affairs or infidelity. They are necessary to mend any kind of perceived wrongdoing.
想让这个道歉管用，下面这五步一定要掌握，当让这五步不仅仅适合那些已经有婚外情的人，也适合那些在犯了错却要向修补爱情的人。
