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Hooray, Mariah Carey is single and seeking a man online
万岁,玛丽亚·凯莉单身,正在线寻人
Historically exciting news for straight men, gay men willing to act straight and straight women now prompted to spend whatever it takes on a man costume (me): Mariah Carey is on match.com.
对直男来说，这真是历史上激动人心的好消息,男同性恋者现在愿意表现坦率，而女异性恋者花尽一切努力在Mariah Carey is on match.com.网站上选择男人。
Mariah, as any regular reader of this column will know, is a Proper Celebrity. If you’re unsure how you like to take your celebrities, complete this simple test.
任何本专栏的忠实读者都知道,玛丽亚是一个合格的名人。如果你不确定你是否喜欢名人,那么完成这个简单的测试。
Do you want them to bang on about stuff such as how dreadful the NSA spy programme is, like CBE-in-waiting Benedict Cumberbatch? Or do you want them to have legendary rider demands such as “ a basket of puppies and kittens to pet”; a comically grotesque retinue of personal staff, including someone whose job is best summarised as Chief Positioner of the Royal Bendy Drink Straw; and a repository of anecdotes about having once been literally kept in a gilded cage or something? “I hate the bus!” Mariah once hooted, in appalled reply to a question about how in touch with reality she was. “ I’ ve already been on the bus - I don not need to get back on the bus!”
你喜欢和他们没完没了地谈论（那些）话题比如美国国家安全局间谍计划是多么可怕,或者如何崇拜准大英帝国司令本尼迪克特·康伯巴奇吗?还是你希望他们遵从传说中的骑士的要求，如“轻抚篮子里的小猫、小狗宠物”；抑或是（讨论）一个滑稽怪诞的随从员工，他的主要工作便是（制作）皇家弯曲的吸管定位器；或是与仓库有关的轶事曾经随便放过一个镀金的笼子或什么的？“我讨厌巴士!”玛丽亚在一次回复联系方式时高喊道。“我已经在公共汽车上,我也不需要回到车上!”
If you answered (b), stay with this.
如果你回答了(b),留在这。
The background to it all is that Mariah is single once more. I know, I know - and less than two years after she renewed her marriage vows to then-husband Nick Cannon in a low-key ceremony, which saw her take over the whole of Disneyland for the evening. She proceeded to the re-plighting of troths - which took place in front of Cinderella’s castle - in a glittering pumpkin-style coach, while live-tweeting the entire event with the hashtag #DonthatemebecauseImadiva.
玛丽亚的背景简单。我了解到,在她再婚两年里,发誓要当时的丈夫尼克·卡农进行低调的婚礼,在婚礼中她接管了一晚上的迪斯尼乐园。她再次在灰姑娘城堡前发誓————在一个闪闪发光南瓜马车里。而用整个事件推特直播并贴予标签# 因为我是麦迪娃，所以请这样对我。（DonthatemebecauseImadiva）
译文属可可英语原创，仅供学习和交流使用，未经允许不得转载。
