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和妹子约会时,给你的十大建议(2)

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7.Employment Status

7.就业状况
The notion of living on love truly proves to be frivolity if either one of you are unemployed or underemployed. While it may seem like a non-issue at first, you should verify whether or not the girl you want to date is employed. Many relationships start out with the guy paying for the movie tickets, dinner, taxi fare, and other expenses. However, as the relationship progresses, this continued financial burden can be too much for any man to keep up without running his bank account dry. When you want to know that your romance can survive in every way, particularly financially, you should find out if the girl you like has a job.
如果你们中的任何一个处于失业或者待业状态,那么只靠爱为生就太天真了。虽然刚开始这似乎没什么大不了,你也应该弄清你想约会的女孩是否有工作。许多关系的确立都是由一个人支付电影票,餐费,出租车费还有其他经费开始的。然而,随着关系的进展,这持续的财政负担对于任何人来说,大得足以榨干他的存款。当你想知道这段恋情能否经得住考验,尤其是财政问题,你都应该查明你喜欢的女孩是否有工作。

就业状况

At first glance, you may think it tacky to consider a girl undatable because she does not have a job. However, statistics show that couples fight over money more often than you would think. In fact, fights about money prove to be the breaking point in many partnerships that would otherwise thrive if both parties had enough money coming in to meet their needs and wants.

乍一看,因为一个女孩没有工作就不值得约会的观点难免有点俗。然而,统计数据显示,夫妻因钱吵架的次数比你想象的要多。事实上,因为钱而导致劳燕分飞的例子,比比皆是。但是如果双方有足够的钱来满足他们的需要和欲望,他们的关系则会很好。
If she is unemployed right now, but going to college, you can at least take hope in the fact that she is training for a future career. However, if she continues to be jobless after graduating or if she drops out of college and fails to get a job, you would do well to take that as a sign that the financial burden in your relationship will fall on you. If this burden is something you would rather not handle at this time, you may do well to avoid asking her out at all.
如果她现在没有就业,但是准备上大学,事实上,你至少可以期冀她是在为未来的事业做准备。然而,如果毕业之后她任然没有工作,或者辍学,找不到一份工作,你就要做好在这段感情中,财政负担落到你的肩上的准备。如果这时候你不愿处理这样的事情,那从最开始你就别约她好了。

6.Financial Behavior

6.理财习惯
Along with her employment status, you should get some clue about how she treats her money. The old adages about diamonds being a girl's best friend and girls preferring to shop over anything else may seem cute; however, this kind of behavior can sink your relationship before it even begins if the girl you like is irresponsible with money. Alternatively, if she seems financially prudent and saves her money well, you can take this as a sign that she would do her part to safeguard any finances that you build together as a couple. As unthinkable as it may seem now, you should pay attention to her financial behavior before or shortly asking her out on a date.
除了关注她的就业状况外,你还应当知道些她理财的情况。有句话说得老好啊:钻石恒久远,女生好闺蜜。爱逛街的女孩子最可爱,但如果你喜欢的姑娘都不对毛爷爷负责,这类行为会早早地掐掉你们的爱芽。另一种就是,如果她看起来挺会打理资产的话,你可以看作是她会为守护双方共同财产尽自己一份力的信号。虽然现在这看起来难以置信,但赴约前你就得注意下她的理财习惯,或者在约会当中稍稍试问下这件事。

理财习惯

Similarly, many guys think that they are acting macho by spending copious amounts of cash on their dates in the early stages of their relationships. The girl you are dating may be flattered; however, you can take it as a good sign if she insists that you save your money and avoiding spending too much cash on her. On the other hand, if a girl keeps insisting that you spend more and more, seeming to never be satisfied by any amount of goods that you buy, this could indicate that she is using you for your money. This could be the point that you walk away from the date and seek a new partner.

与这个情况类似的是,有些男生啊,刚开始约会时就狂撒大钞到对象身上,觉得自己特男人。那些和你约会的女孩或许会受宠若惊,但是捏,如果她坚决要你省钱,别老是在她身上使劲花的时候,这就可以视为一个好的征兆啦。另一方面,若一个女生总让你花啊花,看起来永远不能被你所购之物给满足的话。这就可以表明她只是看上了你的钱。那么是时候把她“存档”然后去找个新伴侣了,
Money should not make the world go round as much as it does, particularly when it comes to building a new romance with a girl that you like. Even so, before you ask her out, you should figure out if she is responsible with money or if she would likely see you as a cash cow to run dry.
金钱不该渗透到世界的各个角落,特别当它涉及恋爱关系的建立的时候。即便如此,在你约她出去之前,就该搞清楚她是不是对毛爷爷负责,或者说,她只是把你当作移动ATM。

5.Romance Goals

5.恋爱目标

恋爱目标

In the world of dating today, there are one-night stands and there are romances that are intended to last. Before you ask a girl out, you should know what kind of scenario she is searching for and whether or not you can accommodate her own needs in the relationship. With many ladies today being financially independent, they no longer seek long-term relationships early in their adult lives. They are more interested in having fun and gaining experience before finally settling down for marriage or parenthood.

在当今的约会界中,一夜情和长情罗曼史比比皆是。在你约个妹子出去前,要知道她钟情何种“剧本”,以及你是否能够适应她在关系中的索求。当下,随着许多女性在经济上越来越独立,青年女人已不再追寻长久关系。在最终安稳下来结婚生子之前,她们更感兴趣的是享乐和汲取恋爱经验。
If you are interested in having fun and gaining experience as well, then matching up with a girl with that same mindset would work out well for you. However, if you are in it for the long haul and want to build a partnership that is geared more toward marriage and raising a family, you should find out if the woman you are interested in has that same goals in mind. You can ask her directly or take clues from her in everyday conversations that prelude you actually asking her out on a date. At least you can go into the dating relationship with some idea of whether or not you will be together for the foreseeable future.
如果你也对找乐子和汲取恋爱经验感兴趣的话,那去找一个拥有同样观念的妹子会更管用些。但是,若你想打恋爱持久战,想建立一个适合婚姻家庭的关系的话,你应该搞清楚你倾心之人是否也在心里有着同样的目标。你可以直截了当地问她,或者从她平日里的谈吐寻找些许线索,这些是你真正该在约会前去了解的东西。至少在恋爱关系中你会清楚一点,你们在一起的话是否能够看到未来。
It used to be that women would forgo a career and seeking out their own self interests in favor of marriage and motherhood. Today, however, that scenario has changed greatly. Before you ask someone out, you should find out if the girl you like has the same romance goals as you or if you both are incompatible for dating entirely.
曾经,女人会放下事业与自身兴趣,去找寻婚姻关系和母亲身份。今天,这个局面已然大为改观。在你约别人之前,你就该清楚你的伊人是否与你有着同样的恋爱目标,还是你们两个连约会都可以免了。

4.Background and Upbringing

4.个人经历与家庭教育

个人经历与家庭教育

Your childhood proves to be a significant factor in the person you are today. Many people bring their childhood experiences, memories, and influences with them into adulthood. Given this fact, you would be well served to tell the girl you like about your background and find out about hers before asking her out on a date. These details can help you both learn if you can create a bond with each other or if your backgrounds are so different that you could never have anything in common in the future.

你的童年经历对你现在是一个怎么样的人有重大影响。许多人都将他们的童年经历、记忆以及影响带入了成年期。鉴于这一事实,在约你喜欢的女孩出去前告诉她自己的个人经历并问问她的经历,这对你大有好处。这些细节能帮助你们俩搞清楚你们是会彼此有所交集,还是会因为你们过去经历太不一样导致未来也不会有任何共同语言。
For example, if you had a conservative upbringing and were subject to strict discipline as a child, yet the woman you want to ask out had a very liberal background, it could be difficult for you to see eye-to-eye with her on even simple topics like who should pay the restaurant check or whether or not you should open the door for her. Even the smallest of differences can build to major arguments if you both have led very different lives.
例如说,如果你们谈到家庭教育方式,并且讲到自己童年时受到严格的管教,而你想要约会的女性却有着宽松自由的童年,你就可能和她在甚至是很简单的问题上无法达成一致,再比如吃饭时谁买单或者你是否应该为她开门。如果你们过着非常不同的生活,即使是一点小小的差异也会让你们大吵一场。
Further, it could influence how you raise your own children. It is important for people to have some common ground as they build a relationship with each other. By knowing her background and upbringing, you know upfront what challenges could present themselves to you if you pursue a relationship with her.
进一步说,这也会影响到你们抚养自己的孩子的方式。人们在建立关系时很重要的一点就是能有一些相同点。了解了她的个人经历和家庭教育方式,你就能提前知道如果和她在一起会遇到什么挑战。

审校:小飞侠 编辑:Freya然 校对:丸子

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independent [indi'pendənt]

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adj. 独立的,自主的,有主见的
n. 独立

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thrive [θraiv]

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vi. 兴旺,繁荣,茁壮成长

 
accommodate [ə'kɔmədeit]

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vi. 使自己适应
vt. 使一致,和解;提供

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avoid [ə'vɔid]

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frivolity [fri'vɔliti]

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handle ['hændl]

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