3.埃及的吉萨
First, the dream. You are awoken at dawn in your Bedouin tent by a sonorous call to prayer. After a breakfast of strong Egyptian coffee, sticky dates and flatbread, you mount your trusty camel and follow your guide on a four-hour trek along the lush banks of the Nile into the heart of the desert. As you summit a massive sand dune, you catch the first glimpse of the Great Pyramid, flanked by two smaller pyramids and the infamous stone-faced sphinx.
首先，印象中的埃及旅游应该是这样的：住在贝都因（Bedouin）帐篷里，拂晓被响亮的祷告声唤醒。享用完一杯浓咖啡，几颗大粘枣和薄松饼做的早餐后出发，出门跨上忠诚可靠的骆驼，跟随向导沿着郁郁葱葱的尼罗河岸前进，经过4个小时的长途跋涉进入沙漠中心地带。登上大沙丘之巅，终于目睹了雄伟的吉萨大金字塔（the Great Pyramid），两座护卫在侧的小金字塔，当然还有神话中恶贯满盈的斯芬克斯石像。
Now, the reality. You are awoken in your Cairo Holiday Inn by the incessant honking of a billion taxi drivers. After a breakfast of watery instant coffee and instant scrambled eggs, you board an incessantly honking taxi for a traffic-clogged 35-minute ride across town to the Great Pyramid of Giza, flanked by two smaller pyramids, the sphinx and a combo Pizza Hut/KFC directly across the street.
然而事实是，住的是开罗城市之星酒店（Cairo Holiday Inn），早上叫醒你的不是祷告声，而是无休止的出租车鸣笛声。早饭很随意，一杯速溶咖啡，摊几个鸡蛋就完事了。出门坐上一辆不停地按喇叭的出租车，一路上堵得和停车场一样，35分钟颠簸穿过整个城镇到达吉萨大金字塔，还是熟悉的配方：两旁护卫着小金字塔以及狮身人面像。但是街对面的必胜客和肯德基是什么鬼，画风一下就变了。
Yes, the pyramids at Giza are easily the most impressive man-made structures you will ever see. Standing next to the colossal blocks of stone is a humbling and awe-inspiring experience. Unfortunately, the experience is nearly made unbearable by the constant harassment of droves of men hawking camel rides. Our advice, if you can swing it: bring your own camel.
没错，毫无疑问，吉萨的金字塔是最令人印象深刻的人造建筑。当你站在金字塔脚下，仰望着这些巨石时，你会顿生谦恭之心和敬畏之情。然而不幸的是，靠骑骆驼赚钱的人会不停地骚扰你，让原本美好的旅行变得无法忍受。所以我们的建议是，如果你够摇摆的话，去的时候把骆驼也一起带上吧。
2.意大利的威尼斯
If you visit during the right time of year -- preferably months that don't rhyme with "dune," "reply" or "dog guest" -- Venice is one of the most enchanting, romantic and remarkable cities in the world. That's when the city's 60,000 full-time residents go about their daily routine of eating delicious regional cuisine, wandering through world-class museums and hanging out in the Piazza San Marco sipping cappuccino and eating gelato.
如果你在合适的时间去威尼斯的话，尤其是在最适宜的几个月里——既没有干旱，也没有暴雨——威尼斯便是世界上最迷人，最浪漫，最引人注目的城市之一。尤其是当城市中的6万居民日复一日的品尝着美味的食物，徘徊在一流的博物馆，逗留在圣马克广场喝咖啡、吃冰淇淋。
Or at least that's what we assume the locals do. We've never seen an actual local, because like the rest of the world's tourists, we visit Venice during the summer, when it's hot, smelly and teeming with loud Americans complaining about the price of a gondola ride.
这至少是我们认为当地人做的惬意事。但我们从来没真正看见当地人是怎么做的，因为像其他旅游者一样，我们来威尼斯的时候正是夏天——一个热烘烘的，臭气熏天的，熙熙攘攘的美国人抱怨缆车价格高的季节。
Speaking of complaining about gondola rides, have you seen the price of a gondola ride? Eighty euros ($107) will buy you and five friends 40 minutes on the crowded Grand Canal. The price jumps to 100 euros after 7 p.m. And if you want the gondolier to sing a romantic tune while you dig through your fanny pack for more traveler's checks, that's going to cost you extra, of course.
提到人们对威尼斯小舟的抱怨，你可曾见过它的价格表？在威尼斯拥挤的大运河上，你和5个朋友一起坐船游行40分钟需要花费80欧元（107美元）。而下午7:00以后价格就上涨到100欧元。如果还想要船夫唱一首浪漫歌曲，你就更需要掏腰包额外交费了。
The moral of the story: If you don't want to be treated like a tourist, don't visit Venice in August, or take the water bus like a local, wherever they are.
这个故事告诉我们：如果你不想被当作一个旅客来对待，那就不要在八月份来威尼斯旅游，只需像当地人一样乘坐小舟，随意去任何地方。
1.墨西哥的坎昆市
Cancún is exactly what you think it is, a great place to lounge drunkenly on the beach all day, then head out at night to dance drunkenly on top of a table wearing a sombrero before passing out with a stranger and waking up (still pretty drunk) to your all-inclusive breakfast buffet. If you are looking for an authentic Mexican travel experience, look elsewhere. Cancún is about beaches, booze and reinforcing every ignorant stereotype you have about Mexico and its people. Body shots, anyone?
正如你想象的那样，坎昆是一个很棒的地方：适合醉醺醺的整天漫步，天黑后带着宽边帽，站在桌子上跳舞，直到和陌生人喝得烂醉，并在宿醉中醒来，品尝着丰盛的自助早餐。如果你想寻找正宗的墨西哥旅游体验，那去别处吧。坎昆就是一个关于海滩、酒和你对墨西哥及当地人根深蒂固的刻板的印象。各位，要不要来点重口味的？
OK, fine, this is mostly true of the Spring Break version of Cancún, which is when the town and its underage tourists are on their worst behavior. But that doesn't mean that Cancún is exactly a cultural mecca the other 11 months of the year. The beaches are beautiful and the snorkeling and diving in nearby Isla de Mujeres is world-class, but prepare yourself for a hundred daily conversations with aggressive timeshare salesmen, snorkeling tour hawkers and insistent young ladies who really think you'd look great with a head full of braids.
好吧，“春节版的墨西哥”这大部分是真实的。在这个月里，整个城镇的人及未成年旅客行为举止最是疯狂。但是这并不意味着坎昆在剩下的十一个月里就是一个圣地。附近女人岛（Isla de Mujeres）的潜水是一流的，但是你要准备好应付那些积极的分时销售员、潜水旅行小贩，以及引人注目的年轻女性——她们认为你很帅，但脑子并不怎么灵光。
You can try to escape the tourist bubble, but you'll have to go pretty far afield to find peace and tranquility. Don't expect it in nearby Playa del Carmen, which boasts a main drag lined with every tourist cliché short of a wax museum (too hot, probably). The much-advertised "eco parks" are like snorkeling in an aquarium -- pretty, but pretty weird. The ruins at Tulum are a better bet, and the two-hour bus ride to the Mayan temples at Chichen Itza is well worth the trip. That is, if you can go half a day without a body shot.
你可以试着逃脱旅游罩现象，但是你不得不走得很远去寻找那份静谧。不过不要期盼着在附近的卡门海滩找到那份宁静——这儿以一条主要街道为主，街道两旁排列着千篇一律但受旅游者欢迎的蜡像馆（很可能太受欢迎）。经大量广告宣传的“生态公园”就像在水族馆里潜水一样——相当怪异。图卢姆废墟（The ruins at Tulum）是一个很好的去处，两个小时到奇琴伊察玛雅寺庙（Mayan temples at Chichen Itza）的车程是值得的，也就是说你得放弃拍全身照而行半天路。
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