Is it possible to talk about Isaiah Thomas without talking about his height? No, right? Everything he does seems to spiral back to it.
说到以赛亚-托马斯，咋能不说他身高呢？是吧，必须得提一嘴。他所做的一切都与身高休戚相关。
The good things (like the time he hung 52 on the Heat, including 29 in the fourth) become folktales due to his height (HE DID ALL OF THAT AND HE’S ONLY 5-foot-9!!!), and the bad things (like defense) become research papers due to it.
因为他的身高受限，许多场次的优异表现受到人们的交口称誉（在对阵热火的比赛中，托马斯全场独得52分，其中第四节狂砍29分，要知道他才5尺9哦！）；同样因为身高受限，他的防守也被人们口诛笔伐。
This article is no different, I suppose.
等一下，咱这篇文章可不是这个了路子。
As I write this, Isaiah is averaging 29.2 points per game. No player under 5-foot-10 has ever done that in the whole entire history of the NBA.
当我写这篇文的时候，托马斯场均可以得到29.2分。纵观整个NBA历史，在5尺10以下的球员中，从来没有人完成过如此壮举。
In fact, the closest anyone’s come is when Calvin Murphy, 5-foot-9 like Isaiah, averaged 25.6 points per game for a season. That was almost four decades ago, lol.
事实上，最接近的是卡尔文-墨菲，他同样也是5尺9的身高，曾有一个赛季可以场均达到25.6分，我的天，那已经是40年前的事儿……
As such, a fun game to play is called “How Many Isaiahs …?” Isaiah is incredible, is what I’m saying. I’m trying to get as many Isaiahs as possible in my life.
这样的话，我们发起一个游戏，叫“做一件事儿需要多少个托马斯？”托马斯是个难以置信的家伙，所以我们这里尽可能将他带回现实生活之中。
It’s inspired by the utterly nutty way that he has been a dominant offensive force this season. We’ll take a scenario and then ask, “How many Isaiahs would it take to do that?”
他本赛季进攻端的统治表现激发了我的灵感，我们设置一个场景，提出问题“做这样的事情需要多少个小托马斯呢?”
We know how many Isaiahs it would take to score a ton of points in an NBA season. (One Isaiah.) How many Isaiahs would it take to stop a truck traveling 60 miles per hour? How many Isaiahs would it take to eat 100 boxes of cereal? How many Isaiahs would it take to level a square mile of a South American jungle? On and on.
我们都知道一堆托马斯一个赛季能得老多分了。现在以一个托马斯为单位，要停下一辆时速每小时60英里的卡车，来，你说需要多少个托马斯？多少个托马斯可以吃完100盒麦片？多少个托马斯可以夷平一平方公里的南美丛林？哈哈哈，就是这样，喵~
How many Isaiahs would it take to … build a small airplane?
多少个托马斯可以……建个小飞机？
I read a story a while back about a man who taught himself how to build airplanes, which, quick sidebar: If we’re taking things you can teach yourself to do and ranking them based on how dangerous the results are if things go wrong, teaching yourself how to build a plane has got to be up there with teaching yourself how to perform surgery.
首先，我曾经读过一篇一个人自学造飞机的文章：简单的说如果你想自学一样东西，就需要承担失败后的风险，那如果你自己造飞机，可能得先做好给自己疗伤的准备。
But that’s what this guy did: He taught himself how to build airplanes. And he got really good at. And now he’s famous for it (or, at least as famous as you can get for building your own plane, I guess). His third airplane, which is the one that I was reading about, an impressive and beautiful project he called Savor, took him 15 months to build.
就有这么个人真这么干了，嘿！还干得挺好，现在因为这个还出名啦！（我想你自己捣鼓个飞机出来也能出名。）我当时看过一篇文章，他的第三驾飞机名字是“Savor”，完成这个大作，花了他15个月的时间。
Anyway, the point is: Making stuff is hard. Building things is harder. And building things you’ve never built before is the hardest.
总而言之，重点就是：做事儿并不容易，造点东西就难了，造点从来没做过的？难上加难哦。
Building a plane with zero experience has got to be basically impossible.
所以0经验造飞机基本上是不可能滴。
I googled a whole bunch of different variations of “Has Isaiah Thomas ever built a plane” and they all came back negative. That being the case, I think we need at least five Isaiahs working full-time for at least three years to build a small airplane safe enough to fly in.
关于“托马斯造过飞机没有？”类似相关的问题，我着实认真谷歌了一下，所有人都选择没有。好了，这样情况下，我们至少需要5个全职托马斯，要想造一架足够安全的小飞机，怎么也得小三年。
How many Isaiahs would it take to … bench-press an 18-wheeler?
同时多少个托马斯可以……卧推一个大卡车？
An 18-wheeler weighs approximately 80,000 pounds. During his NBA draft combine workout, Isaiah bench-pressed 185 pounds 13 times. Using that as a barometer, I think we can safely assume Isaiah could probably bench 200 pounds at least once. That means we need 400 Isaiah to bench-press an 18-wheeler, because 400 * 200 = 80,000.
恩，就是图片这种的，大概80000磅。根据选秀报告的内容，组合训练中托马斯185磅的卧推可以做13个，以此为准，保守估计托马斯用力推一次应该可以推起200磅。这就意味着完成任务需要400个托马斯，因为400*200 = 80,000。
This is a crazy number to me. Kawhi Leonard was able to bench press that same amount only three times during his combine workout. Kevin Durant never even got it up once during his.
Ps:185磅，这重量对我来说太爆炸了。科怀-伦纳德同样条件的卧推只能做3个，凯文-杜兰特一个也做不了……
How many Isaiahs would it take to … defeat a shark?
多少个托马斯可以……打败一条鲨鱼？
Well, if we assume (a) the word “defeat” here means “kill,” and (b) that our Isaiahs came upon the shark while swimming, and (c) the encounter happened in waist-high water, giving them both an equally fair shot, then really it just depends on the shark you’re talking about.
好的，我们假设：1.这里的“打败”是“击杀”。2.情境下我们托马斯正在游泳，在鲨鱼的上方。3.遭遇战的水深大概腰部左右，双方条件相同。好的，现在的问题就是什么种类的鲨鱼了。
There’s one shark that’s only about 11 inches long, for example (the spined pygmy shark). I don’t imagine you’d need more than one Isaiah to defeat that shark. Meanwhile, there’s a different shark that’s about 40-feet long (the whale shark). You’re probably looking at needing at least 150 Isaiahs to take down that bad boy.
有些鲨鱼只有11英寸长（像侏儒鲨）。对付这样的小可爱，一个托马斯一套连招轻松带走；还有40英尺长的（像鲸鲨），对付这样的大家伙怎么也要150个托马斯。
Some other sharks:
其他种类的鲨鱼：
Hammerhead shark (about 18 feet): Five Isaiahs. Unless our Isaiahs were able to use actual hammers during the fight, in which case 3 Isaiahs get it done.
锤头鲨(大约18英尺)：5个托马斯，要是打斗过程可以用锤子，那3个托马斯就够了。
Mako shark (about 8 feet): secretly an elite shark. Did you know mako sharks can hit up to 45 mph while swimming? That means a mako shark can swim 18 miles per hour faster than Usain Bolt can run. Despite its small size, I think we need at least four Isaiahs to take the mako down.
灰鲭鲨（大约8英尺）：私下里这可是鲨鱼中的好手，灰鲭鲨最高游速可以达到45英里/小时，什么水平呢？和尤塞恩-博尔特一起出发，灰鲭鲨一个小时能落下他18英里，尽管他个头不大，恩，对付他怎么也得4个托马斯。
Tiger shark (about 12 feet): Discovery.com has a Sharkopedia, which includes great detail about all the different kinds of sharks.
虎鲨（大约12英寸）：Discovery.com网站有个鲨鱼百科，各种鲨鱼数据应有尽有。
The tiger shark section mentions how one time someone found a chicken coop in the belly of a tiger shark when they cut it open. A chicken coop ain’t a one-bite meal, bro. It’s at least 20 bites, easy. That means a tiger shark bit into it, had a mouthful of wood and wire, and was like, “Yup. I’ma eat this.” That’s super gnarly. We need at least five Isaiahs here.
其中在虎鲨的板块里提到，有人剖开虎鲨腹部后发现了鸡笼的残骸，鸡笼子那么容易吃么，正常怎么也要嚼个20多遍吧，这条虎鲨把一堆木板铁丝咬个稀碎，好像在说：“咋的，我就要吃鸡笼子。”行，我服了，你厉害，我准备派5个托马斯对付你。
Blacktip reef shark (about 5 feet): One Isaiah.
黑鳍礁鲨（大约5英寸）：一个托马斯。
Bull shark (about 11 feet): Three Isaiahs. (Bull sharks are the second best of all the sharks named after other animals. Tiger sharks are first, obviously.)
牛鲨（11英寸）：3个托马斯。（所有以其他动物命名的鲨鱼里面，牛鲨的名字是第二好听的，第一很明显是虎鲨啊。）
Great white shark (about 23 feet): Seven Isaiahs, and we’re losing at least two of them in the fight.
大白鲨（大约23英尺）：7个托马斯，战斗过程中可能还会有2个托马斯阵亡。
How many Isaiahs would it take to … take me out on a date?
多少个托马斯……可以把我扔枣树上？
One.
一个。
How many Isaiahs would it take to … do 1,000 push-ups in two minutes?
多少个托马斯……可以2分钟做1000个俯卧撑？
This one is simply a matter of math (and also a matter of squinting your eyes just a bit). In November 2016, Isaiah referred to himself as “the 5-foot-9 Kevin Garnett.”
这是道简单的数学题（恩，还需要眯起眼睛好好查数儿）。2016年11月，托马斯说他自己是5尺9的凯文-加内特。
During the 2012 playoffs, Garnett, following a hard foul from Udonis Haslem that resulted in Garnett lying on his back under the rim, rolled himself over and began doing push-ups. He did eight of them in six seconds. If we extend that out to a full minute, that means Kevin Garnett can do 80 per minute.
2012年季后赛，加内特遭受犹多尼斯-哈斯勒姆的凶狠犯规，他在篮下的地板躺了一会儿，之后翻起身来就开始做俯卧撑，加内特6秒做了8个，按这个速率，加内特一分钟可以做80个。
Now, I’m sure there’d be some drop-off there; I wouldn’t really expect him to maintain that pace for an entire minute. Even at 75 percent of that total, though, we’re still looking at KG doing 60 push-ups per minute. If we take that number and give it to Isaiah, then that means we need nine Isaiahs doing push-ups at max speed for two minutes to break 1,000. (Nine Isaiahs x 60 push-ups per minutes = 1,080 push-ups in two minutes.)
我们不能奢望他一分钟都保持这个速率，我相信数据会有所下滑，即使只取75%，加内特每分钟也可以做60个，如果托马斯就按这个速率计算，那我们需要9个托马斯同时马力全开做2分钟，这样就可以在规定时间内突破1000啦。（9个托马斯*60个/分钟*2分钟=1080个）
How many Isaiahs would it take to … beat 1987 Michael Jordan and 1995 Scottie Pippen in a game to 15?
多少个托马斯……可以在15分制的比赛中打败这样的组合（1987年的迈克尔-乔丹和1995年的斯科蒂-皮蓬）？
Tough, tough, tough. We could get into 100 different ways this is terrifying, but just think about these two things:
蜀道难，难于上青天！是时候讨论这场对决了100种死法了。我就提2点：
(1) Michael Jordan averaged over 37 points per game for the 1987 season. That’s still good today for the fifth-highest amount of all-time (Wilt has the four spots ahead of him). Mike was getting busy that season.
（1）1987赛季乔丹场均37分，即使放到现在同样是历史第5的存在（前四都是张伯伦）。那个赛季是无所不能的迈克尔。
(2) Scottie Pippen, who was an NBA All-Defensive First Team selection from 1992 to 1999, led the league in steals in 1995. He averaged 2.94 per game, lol. He was a 6-foot-8 jewel thief that season.
（2）皮蓬从1992-1999都入选了NBA最佳防守阵容一阵，1995年还是NBA抢断王，场均2.94个，天啊撸，那年他就是6尺8的时迁啊。
So you’ve got Mike when he was at his most offensively unstoppable on one side and Scottie when he was at his most defensively overwhelming on the other side, meaning you’re looking at one of, say, the two or three most intimidating two-on-two teams of all-time. Again: tough, tough, tough.
知道情况了吧，攻端乔丹不可阻挡，守端皮蓬戒备森严。现在面对的球员，是2对2比赛历史前三中的一个，啊，不对，是两个。噫，吾复言，蜀道难，难于上青天！
If our team of Isaiahs gets the ball first, I think we can sneak by here on four Isaiahs. (They win that game 15–10). If ’87 Jordan and ’95 Pippen get the ball first, though, then we need at least six Isaiahs to get a W (15–13).
如果开始是托马斯队先攻，我们偷偷摆上4个托马斯，会15-10赢得比赛；如果传奇二人组先攻，我们只能强行加到6个，最终15-13艰难取胜。
How many Isaiahs would it take to … watch all of the episodes of Friends?
多少个托马斯可以……看完全集《老友记》？
There are 236 episodes of Friends. Each one is 23 minutes long (our Isaiahs are watching them on Netflix so we don’t have to account for commercials).
《老友记》一共236集，每集23分钟（我们托马斯在Netflix上确实有看，这里可不是给《老友记》打广告哦）。
If the rules here are that our Isaiahs have to watch all the episodes straight through, and that any time he wants to take a break to eat or sleep or go to the restroom then we have to replace him with a new Isaiah, then that means we’re staring down 5,428 minutes of Friends, or 90.4 hours of Friends, or about four days straight of Friends.
当一个托马斯想要吃点东西，睡觉，或者去上厕所时，另一个托马斯随时顶上。《老友记》全集5428分钟，或者说90.4个小时，大概需要连着4天看完。
This is going to sound ridiculous, but I think we can get away with just one Isaiah here. Given that we can just have him eat in front of the TV, the only real pitfalls he’d face would be falling asleep and having to use the restroom. Humans have, with regular frequency, proved that staying up for up to 10 days straight is possible, so I’m not worried about the sleeping part. I think he’d be able to stay awake for 90 hours pretty easily.
我们这里准备只用一个托马斯了，哈哈，这听起来太疯狂了。我们设定他在吃饭都在电视屏幕前，人啊，科学证明一般可以连着10天不睡觉，所以睡眠的问题也解决了，我想托马斯可以轻轻松松坚持90个小时。现在只有一个问题了——托马斯得去厕所。
For the restroom thing, I remember reading this story about how one time, during a close game in college, Isaiah had to go to the restroom very badly. Rather than running off to the locker room to use it during a timeout, Isaiah, afraid he wouldn’t make it back in time and would miss the end of the game, decided to just stuff a towel down his shorts and pee into that.
我之前还听过一个关于上厕所的小故事，大学时期托马斯正在打一场很激烈的比赛，忽然内急突袭，忙不择路，急不可耐，翻江倒海。想在暂停时段去更衣室的厕所小解，又恐误了比赛最后的关键时刻，这时托马斯同志怒从心头起，恶向胆边生，操起毛巾，塞进球裤，就这样方！便！了！
That’s a legit genius move, if I’m being honest, and also a pretty good indicator of the type of competitive drive Isaiah has in his bones (or in his weiner, as it were). We’re getting by with one Isaiah here.
厉害了，你真是天才！但老实说，这里还是体现出托马斯骨子里的竞争意识，所以看完《老友记》全集这样的任务，我托某人孤身前往又有何惧？
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