Exactly zero people at your wedding are looking at how flat your stomach is or the way the back of your arms jiggle when you hold your arm up in front of a mirror and try to jiggle it. You're going to look into the eyes of the love of your life and pledge your undying devotion to that person until the end of time. And then you'll drink. Guests, likewise, are too busy basking in your love and your bomb ass dress and thinking about their next drink to notice if you did 10 extra planks in the past six weeks.

Literally no one is noticing whether or not you got one and whether or not you maintained it before the wedding. Before I got married I got a facial. The woman doing the facial stuck electrodes onto my face, which allegedly de-puffed it. Even I didn't notice whether or not my face was less puffy. "Don't drink or eat salty foods or you'll puff back up," she warned me. I don't know what she thought week-before wedding prep was like, because I felt like I was on a pirate ship with nothing to do but ho ho ho with a bottle of rum (replace rum with "tequila" and "Champagne"). So again, get a facial if you're feeling fancy, or don't get a facial if you're feeling fancy. No one is going to notice! Including you.

3. DON'T CHECK THE WEATHER.

Some of my darkest moments as a human female came while I was checking the weather the five days before my wedding. I was crying and looking at Pinterest alone in my bed. I'm not proud of this, but this is the kind of anxiety the American wedding industrial complex instills in the modern bride. The night before my wedding, it rained sideways. We had already said no to our contingency rain plan, because the forecast said all clear at the time. I could think of nothing in those hours but drinking forbidden alcohol, eating forbidden Cape Cod potato chips, and drinking Champagne. The day of the wedding, the clouds parted and we had beautiful, perfect weather.