Former NBA player Lamar Odom's tangle with hard drugs nearly killed him, but it didn't rob him of his ability to talk about a dangerous dance with his demons.
前NBA球员拉玛尔奥多姆身染毒瘾，甚至险些丧命。但是这并不妨碍他去讲述与毒瘾斗争的历程。
Odom lost nearly everything in a very public way because of his addiction--his NBA career and marriage to Khloe Kardashian, chief among them .Odom detailed what led him to the hospital, where he had 12 strokes and two heart attacks.
众所周知，奥多姆的毒瘾几乎毁掉了他生活中的一切——包括他的NBA生涯以及和科勒卡戴珊的婚姻。奥多姆说到，其中最严重的事是因为吸毒被送入医院，经历了多次抢救才得以保住性命。
"At some point, the main doctor came in and told me what had happened," Odom wrote. "He said, 'Mr. Odom, you've been in a coma for the last four days. Do you understand?' I couldn't talk. So I just nodded. He said, 'It's a miracle that you're here. We didn't think you were going to make it."
“在某个时候，主治医生进来告诉我发生了什么事”，奥多姆写到。“他说：‘奥多姆先生，你知道吗？你已经昏迷了四天’，我讲不出话来，只能点点头，我们以为你撑不过来了，你能活过来简直是个奇迹。”
Odom says he was in shock and felt helpless for the first time in his life, but that it was no wonder he ended up there.
“我当时很震惊，人生中第一次感到无助，但毫无疑问我要从那儿重新开始了”，奥多姆说到。
"At that point in my life, I was doing coke every day. Pretty much every second of free time that I had, I was doing coke. I couldn't control it," Odom wrote.
“在那之前的日子，我每天都吸食可卡因，只要一有空我就会去吸食可卡因，”我无法控制我自己。
In the article, Odom used "Cocaine is a hell of a drug" saying it made him do things he'd never imagined himself doing. But mostly, he kept wondering how he got there, he wrote, and those he'd lost.
在信中，奥多姆用“可卡因是个恶魔”来描述毒瘾让他做出了一些他从不敢想的事情。但是信中的大部分内容是他回想着自己是怎样走到今天这个地步，怎样迷失了自我的。
Odom, 37, wrote that he had his whole future planned out from an early age.
37岁的奥多姆写到在自己很小的时候就制订了关于未来的整个计划。
But a life touched with tragedy led him down the path he'd planned to avoid. It started with his mom's illness and a visit to see her in the hospital right before she died.
但是生活中的不幸让他不可避免的倒下了，所有的一切都从他母亲的疾病开始，以及母亲临终前的那次去医院的探望。
"When I was 12 years old, she got sick. I knew she had colon cancer, but I didn't really know how bad it was. She kind of kept it from me to protect me," he wrote. "I just remember that she went into the hospital for a while, and when I went to visit her, it seemed like she was getting ... smaller. Like she was disappearing."
“我12岁的时候，母亲就病了，我知道她得了结肠癌，但是我不知道它有多么严重，她保护着我不受到任何伤害。”他写到“我只记得她去住院了，当我去看望她时，她是如此的消瘦以至于看起来快要枯萎了一样”。
"I don't think anything can prepare you for losing your mother at 12 years old. It leaves a mark on you. I don't care how strong you think you are," he wrote.
“我不认为一个12岁的小孩能够接受失去母亲的事实，它会给你留下阴影。无论你认为自己有多么强大”。他写到。
Odom wrote about how at 12 years old, he swore to himself he'd never touch cocaine.
奥多姆写到，12岁的时候他就发誓永远不会去碰毒品。
"I didn't try it until I was 24 years old, when I was on summer vacation in Miami. And ... I wish I could tell you there was a reason for it. There wasn't. It was just an asinine decision I made. If I knew that it was going to affect my life the way it did, I would've never even thought about it. Never. But I did it. It turned out to be a life-altering decision," he wrote.
“直到24岁的那年夏天，我在迈阿密度假。我多么希望我去吸毒是有原因的，但是并不是这样的，这就是我自己所做的一个愚蠢的决定。如果我知道这个决定将会给我的生活带来怎样的影响。我希望我从来没有过这个想法，但是它还是成为了一个改变我生活的决定。”他写到。
Shortly afterward, his grandmother died. Then other family members also died, including his 6-month-old son, Jayden, to sudden infant death syndrome. Odom fed the pain with more cocaine, and with it came more and more reckless behavior and yes, shame.
不久，他的祖母也过世了，其他的家庭成员也相继过世，包括了他6个月的儿子，死于婴儿猝死综合症。为了缓解痛苦，奥多姆愈发吸食可卡因，随之而来的便是越来越多的鲁莽羞愧的行为。
"When I was like 32, 33 ... I just wanted to get high all the time. That's it, just get high. And things got dark as hell," Odom wrote. "One of the darkest places I've ever been was when I was in a motel room, and my wife (at the time) walked in. That probably was like rock bottom."
“当我32，33岁的时候，我所想的就是整天嗑药，是的，只是嗑药。生活陷入无止境的黑暗。“奥多姆写到”。最黑暗的是时候是我待在一个汽车旅馆，我的妻子（当时的）进来了。那可能是我人生的最低谷。”
"The doctors told me that right before I woke up from the coma, my kids had come by to see me. And that broke my heart, because I had seen my own mother on her deathbed, with tubes coming out of her mouth," he wrote. "My kids are the only things that kept me going. I've been a big strong dude my whole life, so anytime my kids see me in a weak point like that is definitely hard for me -- even to talk about now."
“医生告诉我，我从昏迷中醒来前我的孩子来看过我，这让我心头一震，因为我也去看望过我临终前的妈妈，她嘴里含着很多管子”，他写到。“我的孩子是我撑下来的唯一理由。我一直都是一个强壮的男人，任何时候让我的孩子看到我如此虚弱对我而言都是难以接受的，现在也是如此。
Odom finished rehab, where he learned to "submit to everything," he wrote. He learned to deal with anxiety he didn't realize was causing him so many problems. He admits his addiction and knows it's not going anywhere. He credits his children for keeping him on the straight and narrow. He's doing the best he can, he wrote, and dealing with the fallout.
奥多姆完成了康复训练，在这个过程中他学会了“接受现状”，他写到。他学会去处理焦虑，他没有意识到正是焦虑导致了这么多问题，他承认自己的毒瘾，并承诺不会再犯，他向自己的孩子保证做一个安分守己的人，并尽力去弥补那些不好的影响，他写到。
"I shook hands with death. But you know what? Ain't no coming back from that," he wrote.
“我曾与死神插肩而过，但是你知道吗？我不会再回头了”，他写到。
"Even though my funeral would probably be a good funeral, and there'd probably be a lot of people who hadn't seen each other in a long time. But it ain't time for that yet. ... I still got my kids. I'm still here. And damn, I'm still pretty handsome."
“尽管我的葬礼将会是一个盛大的葬礼，很多人也会因此而重逢，但这还不是时候……我依旧拥有我的孩子，我仍然站在这儿。天啊，我还是如此的帅气”！
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