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If "Hollywood is high school with money," in the famous assertion of actor Martin Mull, then the NBA is even-higher school: high school with height (and, of course, money).
如果像演员马丁-马尔所说的那样，“好莱坞是个有钱的高中”，那么NBA就是个更“高”的高中，嗯，学生个头很高的高中（当然也很有钱）。
Everyone's too tall to be stuffed in a locker, the couture backpacks are too tiny to hold books, and the hair buns aren't just for the lunch ladies. But the league is still unmistakably high school, with its cliques, feuds and frenemies, all of it amplified on Instagram.
诚然，中学对NBA球员来说，个大衣柜窄，包小课本多，另外他们的冼剪吹发型给食堂阿姨来欣赏也太大材小用了。然而NBA依然是个高中，各种各样的拉帮结伙，恩恩怨怨和亦敌亦友，这一切在Instagram等社交媒体上一览无余。
And so the student body returns this month to what we might call, with apologies to the Ramones, Pick-and-Roll High School. The kids can look back on a long Summer of Subtweeting, of public passive-aggression on social media, of epic breakups and intensifying BFFs.
回到这个月，不好意思了雷蒙斯，我们就叫它“挡拆高中”吧。回顾这个漫长的暑假里，熊孩子们在社交媒体上发布的那些背地暗讽、公开撕X，关于各种各样的爆炸新闻、基友情深等等。
The NBA offseason is now nearly as entertaining as the NBA onseason. Anyone in the halls asking "How was your summer?" is in for an earful.
NBA的休赛期现在几乎已经和赛季一样精彩了，在这所学校的大厅里，返校的孩子们都在那喋喋不休地问“你今年暑假做了什么啊？”
Did you hear, for instance, that just after All-Star forward Gordon Hayward left the Jazz to sign with the Celtics, one of his jilted teammates in Utah, Rudy Gobert, posted video of himself on Instagram nodding along to "Loyal" by Chris Brown (of all people)? The song laments the lack of, shall we say, fidelity in a relationship.
你有没有听说过，比如全明星前锋戈登-海沃德离开爵士前往凯尔特人的时候，被他抛弃在犹他的队友鲁迪-戈贝尔在Instagram上发了一段自己的视频，并且附上了克里斯-布朗的《忠诚》，这首歌哀叹了忠诚在人际关系中的遗落。
Gobert never mentioned Hayward by name, but he didn't have to. At 7'1", with a 7'9" wingspan, Gobert can throw shade simply by standing in the sun—though in this case he was sitting in a car, presumably while doing donuts in the student parking lot.
戈贝尔没有提到海沃德的名字，也用不着。考虑到戈贝尔7尺1的身高和7尺9的臂展，他只需要自己站在阳光下就可以表明立场了，尽管他实际上没有站在阳光下而是坐在车里，就像是在学校停车场里吃着甜甜圈一样。
Meanwhile, the homecoming King, LeBron James, was down in the weight room, posting his own workout video, getting swole and dancing to a Meek Mill track.
当然，还有“思乡成疾”勒布朗，在健身房里发布自己的训练视频，举铁练块儿，还有听着米克-梅尔的音乐尬舞。
Shortly after Stephen Curry appeared in another viral video, this one shot in the waning hours of the wedding reception for former teammate Harrison Barnes. Toasts completed, ties abandoned, dance floor teeming, Curry impersonated and gently mocked LeBron's moves。
就在这段视频发布之前，史蒂芬-库里的一段视频正在热播，那是在他前队友哈里森-巴恩斯婚礼宴席的最后阶段，酒过三巡，领带松垮地挂在脖子上，舞池里挤满了宾客，库里在众人的围观下没有恶意地嘲弄了勒布朗的动作。
While other wedding guests looked on in delight. Curry's Warriors had just defeated LeBron's Cavs in the Finals, and so the wedding was also a kind of NBA senior prom, whose theme—given the presence of Kyrie Irving, James's soon-to-be-ex-teammate in -Cleveland—might have been: Disenchantment Under the Sea.
大家都很开心，就像高年级的舞会一样。这场舞会意味着什么——考虑到同样出席了婚礼的凯里-欧文不久之后就变成了勒布朗的前队友，这就像是未来的预演。
Except that Irving is now happily ensconced in Boston, a Flat-Earther plying his trade in what Oliver Wendell Holmes called "the hub of the solar system." (The science teacher would like to see both men after class.) Intriguingly, Irving is now paired in the Hub with Gobert's ex, the wayward Gordon Hayward.
现在欧文已经开心滴在波士顿安居乐业了，法学家奥利佛-温德尔-福尔摩斯认为波士顿是“太阳系的中心”，而通过交易，某个鼓吹“地平说”的天文学家也终于成为“太阳系中心“的一部分了（这俩货让科学老师忍无可忍了！）有意思的是，欧文现在的搭档正是戈贝尔的前任，“自我的”海沃德。
We should say, in light of our school's social media and bullying policies, that almost all of this is in good fun. On important matters, players are publicly supportive of one another for the most part, as when LeBron tweeted his solidarity with Steph after Donald Trump withdrew a White House invitation that the Dubs were disinclined to accept in the first place.
鉴于咱们这所学校的社交媒体性质和欺负人的政策，这些大多数还算好玩。而在大政方针上球员们还是比较抱团的，比如唐纳德-川普撤销了邀请勇士参观白宫的计划，勒布朗马上发表推特声援库里：人家原来就没打算去！
As in other high schools, everyone has returned in the fall with new kicks. Kevin Durant comes back in the latest iteration of his signature shoe, the KD X, which feature a "red velvet" color scheme on the uppers and cream-frosting soles.
就如同其他学校一样，秋天到了，大家穿着新衣新鞋回到学校。凯文-杜兰特穿着的是他新一代签名战靴——KD10，带有红色天鹅绒特点的鞋面和奶油霜一样的鞋底。
As the Nike press kit proclaimed, "At the end of the day, winning is all that matters, and anything else is just icing on the cake." It sounds like the banal quotation on a senior's yearbook page but is in fact a reference—like the shoes themselves—to KD's long-running beef with his former Thunder teammate, Russell Westbrook, who once called Durant a cupcake.
耐克的宣传文案写道：“最终，只有胜利才是最重要的，其他的一切都只是蛋糕上的酥皮罢了。”文案看上去就像高三年刊上的鸡汤段，但实际上却是一个典故：就像球鞋宣传的那样，杜兰特已经和前队友撕X很久了，拉塞尔-威斯布鲁克，将他比作一个纸杯蛋糕。
Or seemed to. Left to their own mobile devices, players never address anyone directly by name. You'll recall that Westbrook, the 2017 MVP, Instagrammed a photo of a three-tiered tower of cupcakes on the Fourth of July in '16, when Durant left Russ for the Warriors—cupcake being Oklahoma City locker room slang for a soft player.
看上去拿着自己的手机时，球员们从不会指名道姓。想想我们的2017年的常规赛MVP大威少，他在16年7月4号这一天在Instagram上po了一张三层纸杯蛋糕的图片，这一天刚好是杜兰特抛下队友投奔勇士的日子——纸杯蛋糕，在俄城的更衣室俚语中就是软蛋的意思。
Durant won a title in his first season with Golden State, and was even named MVP of the Finals, after which he wore a custom-made cupcake hat to teammate JaVale McGee's celebrity softball game. The cherry on top of the cupcake had been replaced by a golden ring. (Oh no he didn't, you might say, but—O-M-Double-G—in fact he did.)
杜兰特在投奔金州的第一年就赢下了冠军，而且加冕了总决赛MVP，不久他就穿着一件定制的纸杯蛋糕T恤参加队友贾维尔-麦基的垒球（软球？）活动。不同的是蛋糕顶上的樱桃被换成了一枚总冠军戒指（你可以说哦不！他没有这么干！但是天呐天呐，他干了！）
And that wasn't even the end of the summer's Cupcake Wars. To a Twitter user who asked him why he left OKC, Durant replied in the third person that he didn't like coach Billy Donovan, the Thunder organization or the team's lack of depth. This tweet was sent from Durant's official Twitter account, but evidently was meant to be sent from an anonymous "burner account," one Durant presumably uses to defend himself on social media.
对于夏天的“纸杯战争”来说，这件事情远远谈不上结局。面对某个推特网友的质疑他为何离开俄城，杜兰特在三楼怒喷比利-多诺万教练、雷管和球队的阵容深度，只不过杜兰特用的是自己的认证账号，而他实际上想要用马甲小号……大概，杜兰特原来也用过马甲和人互怼吧。
To his credit, KD quickly and sincerely apologized, saying he felt terrible about the tweets. But that did not stop Joel Embiid, the Sixers' star and joyful Twitter troll, from posting in the third person, as if making a similar mistake: "Joel Embiid is better than MJ ever was.
考虑到自己的声誉，杜兰特马上真诚地道了歉，他对推特上的乌龙闹剧感到非常糟糕。当然，76人大帝、推特巨星乔尔-恩比德还是对此加以嘲弄，他故意假装自己也忘了上小号，在某个推特的三楼回复：“乔尔比迈克尔-乔丹更厉害！
Elsewhere, All-Star shooting guard Jimmy Butler was not referring to a Jason Bourne–like burner phone when he gave his cell number to fans and haters alike in a live press conference to tout his arrival with the Timberwolves from the Bulls.
值得一提的是，全明星分卫吉米-巴特勒似乎还不太熟悉《谍影重重》的套路——他在媒体见面会的直播中将一个类似一次性手机的号码无差别地发布给球迷和黑子，用来兜售他即将加盟森林狼的情报。
So hit him up, students, if anything is going on this Friday night, lest Butler suffer the FOMO that is so pervasive at Pick-and-Roll High, where cliques are forming and reforming every day. Ask LeBron, joined now in Cleveland by BFFs old (Dwyane Wade) and new (Isaiah Thomas).
所以同学们把他点赞顶上去！如果周五发生了什么事的话，恐怕巴特勒也是我们“挡拆中学”常见的一个社交控吧！森林狼大抱团是这所中学里每天都在重演的拉帮结派现象，你去问问勒布朗-詹姆斯，他刚刚和两个“一辈子的好基友”走到一起，一个是老相好（德维恩-韦德），一个是新兄弟（以赛亚-托马斯）。
Will all this drama play out face-to-face now, or fade into the ether? We'll find out as the lunchroom is cleared of the cafeteria tables, revealing—at last—the gym floor, which is once again ready for its primary purpose: basketball.
这出网络上的年度大戏会不会在开赛之后变成面对面的真人戏码？又或者会逐渐淡出我们的视线。假期结束，食堂餐桌被挪开，露出了下面的球馆地板，随着比赛的回归，这一切又回到了最初的目的：我就是打球。
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