As someone who has been there and done that having long been separated from my ex, I can say that it does get easier, but it still isn't easy. In order to have a beautiful holiday without your kids or when splitting the kids up, you need to create new traditions and enlist solid coping skills. If you do this, your life after divorce will be wonderful. It won't always be pleasant, but it will be worth it.

If your kids are not with you and you will be alone, now is not the time to be stubborn and hide away. Of course, if you want some time alone to cry on the holidays, that's OK and to be expected. It's extremely hard missing your kids. That said, don't spend the whole holiday alone. Try to create a new tradition - something you can do whenever you don't have the kids at the holidays. Maybe you and a friend go see the tree in your city. Maybe you and a group of moms get together to go holiday shopping. Or perhaps you even offer to cook some dishes in exchange for a seat at the holiday table, whether it's with friends or family.

You are allowed to be sad. You are allowed to cry. Just don't isolate yourself, please. The temptation to do so will be high, trust me. I've been there before, and it can be really destructive to your soul. Don't do it.

Make Alternative Holiday Dates With the Kids

OK, so you don't have the littles for Christmas or Thanksgiving, so does that mean the holidays can't happen? Nope! You make a day they are with you Mom's Christmas, Hanukkah, or what have you, and you create a celebration of your own. Although this is hard to adjust to, it doesn't have to be the actual calendar day to matter. Your child or children of divorce will look forward to having that "holiday, part deux" with you.