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I had no idea what had happened to me and I didn't trust anyone.
我完全不清楚自己身上究竟发生了些什么事，我不相信任何人。
If my father was fine, why wasn't he here?
如果父亲安然无恙，为什么他不在我的身旁？
I thought my parents didn't know where I was and could be searching for me in the chowks and bazaars of Mingora.
我认为父母并不知道我身在何处，他们可能还在明戈拉各处的广场或市集里到处寻找我的下落。
I didn't believe my parents were safe.
我不相信我的父母都平安无事。
Those first days my mind kept drifting in and out of a dream world.
住在那里的头几天，我的神志总在梦境与现实之间飘来荡去。
I kept having flashbacks to lying on a bed with men around me, so many that you couldn't count, and asking, 'Where is my father?'
我不停回到同一个场景：我躺在床上，数不清的男人包围着我，我问他们：“我的父亲在哪里？”
I thought I had been shot but wasn't sure – were these dreams or memories?
我想自己遭受了枪击，但没办法确定——这些画面到底是梦幻，还是回忆？
I was obsessed by how much this must be costing.
我还不由自主地焦虑这将需要花费多少钱。
The money from the awards had almost all gone on the school and buying a plot of land in our village in Shangla.
我们得奖赚来的钱都花在校务上，另外还在香拉的村子里买了块地。
Whenever I saw the doctors talking to one another I thought they were saying, 'Malala doesn't have any money. Malala can't pay for her treatment.'
每次，当我看到医生在跟别人说话，我就会觉得他们是在说：“马拉拉没有钱。马拉拉付不起她的医药费。”
One of the doctors was a Polish man who always looked sad.
有一名医生是波兰人，他的神情总是充满哀伤。
I thought he was the owner of the hospital and was unhappy because I couldn't pay.
我猜想他是医院的老板，因为我付不出钱而让他郁郁寡欢。
So I gestured at a nurse for paper and wrote, 'Why are you sad?'
所以我比了个手势，请护士帮我拿了张纸，然后写道：“你在难过什么呢？”
He replied, 'No, I am not sad.'
他回答：“没有，我没有在难过。”
'Who will pay?' I wrote. 'We don't have any money.'
“谁会付钱？”我写，“我们家没有钱。”
'Don't worry, your government will pay,' he said.
“别担心，你们政府会负担。”他说。
Afterwards he always smiled when he saw me.
在那次之后，他每次看到我都会面带微笑。
