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Learning that your partner has cheated on you is undeniably a traumatic experience. But while there's no erasing the pain caused by the betrayal, infidelity can lead to opportunities for growth-whether you choose to stay in the relationship or not.
于你而言，另一半出轨无疑是一个致命的伤痛。虽然背叛带来的伤痛是无法消除的，但出轨也为人们带来了机会，教会他们成长--无论你是否会原谅他/她。
An honest discussion
坦诚布公的交谈
Assuming your partner is willing to be open and honest about what happened, discussing the infidelity is an important step toward rebuilding trust. Writing in Psychology Today, marriage therapist Michele Weiner-Davis explains that while the betrayed partner's questions need to be answered "honestly and thoroughly," these conversations are challenging to navigate-which is why it can be helpful to seek guidance from a couples therapist.
假如你的另一半愿意和你坦白，那么谈论出轨一事则是重建信任的重要一步。婚姻治疗师米歇尔·韦娜·戴维斯是《今日心理学》的一名作者，她解释道，虽然你需要坦诚明了的回答被出轨一方的问题，但此番对话极具挑战性--所以，寻求夫妻治疗师的指导是很有帮助的。
A chance to dig deep
深入挖掘的机会
Therapist Larry Cappel explains that in most cases of infidelity, there were "warning signs that something was wrong with the intimacy and connection in the relationship long before the affair happened." Meeting with a couples therapist gives both you and your partner the chance to express how you've been hurt by the other, explore what happened, and look deeper "to understand what emotional and psychological dynamics were at play that led to the affair."
治疗师拉里·卡佩尔解释，对于绝大多数的出轨事件，"出轨前都会有一些警示迹象，比如你们之间不再那么亲密。"寻求夫妻治疗师的帮助吧，你和另一半都会有机会表达被其他人伤害的经历、说说发生了什么事情，深入探索，这样就能"了解导致出轨的身心原因。"
Self-care
自我关爱
Everyday obligations make it easy to forget about self-care, but when you're dealing with the trauma of your partner's infidelity, it's especially important to put your own needs first. Of course, you would rather not be in this situation at all, but one of the ways you can cope is to do things that bring you pleasure. Exercise, spend time with friends, take a bubble bath, cook your favourite dish-these things won't fix the problem, but will alleviate stress and provide a temporary distraction. Committing to a daily self-care ritual now, and sticking to it even after you've healed, is likely to improve your quality of life in the long run.
每天忙于各项琐事，人们很容易忽略自己的感受。但在'舔舐'另一半出轨带来的创伤时，请记得以自己的需求为重。当然，你肯定不愿意陷入这种境地，但届时请做一些令自己开心的事情。锻炼、约三五好友、洗个泡泡浴、做顿美餐--虽然这些做法解决不了问题，但却能缓解压力，暂时分散你的注意力。每天给自己多点关爱，即使从出轨事件中走出来了也要坚持。长远看来，此种做法或能提高你的生活质量。
Understanding what you want from your next relationship
为下一段恋情做准备，知道自己想要什么
As you deal with the aftermath of your partner's infidelity, you might gain insight into what you want from your next relationship. A 2016 study entitled "Intrasexual Mate Competition and Breakups: Who Really Wins?" found that many female participants who had been cheated on reported that they had gained wisdom that would help them with future relationships.
从另一半出轨事件中复原的同时，你可能也在为下一段恋情做准备，知道自己想要什么。2016年一项名为《性内伴侣竞争和分手：谁是最后赢家？》的研究发现：，很多被出轨的女性参与者都表示，失败的恋情让她们更加聪慧，有助于让她们为下一段恋情做好准备。
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