I have been dating my boyfriend for three months. He is intelligent and thoughtful, sensitive and funny. We are in our 30s and have the same long-term goals - to travel, see where life takes us and not add children to a relationship.
我和男友约会3个月了。他聪明、风趣、有想法、还很会照顾人。我们都已30多岁，有着相同的长期目标--到处旅行，看看生活将会把我们带去何方，同时不要小孩儿。
I wasn't physically attracted to him, but the way he treats me convinced me to give it a go. I'm not convinced there's enough "spark" and find myself inwardly picking apart his appearance and his unwavering devotion to me, which I find soppy and cloying. Some things actively turn me off, for example chewing food loudly with his mouth open and getting food all over his face, or the way he dresses. Then I feel guilty as he would not judge me in the same way.
他的身体对我没有什么吸引力，但他对待我的方式说服了我，让我给了这段感情一次机会，但我认为我们之间并不来电。我发现自己内心挑剔着他的颜值，同时又依赖他对我坚定不移的感情，很狡猾吧？有些事情会让我对他失去兴趣，比如：嘴巴大张着大声咀嚼食物、吃了一脸的东西、或是他的穿衣方式。但我又因为他不以同样的方式对我评头品足而感到内疚。
I have dated some very attractive men in the past and valued physical attractiveness probably too highly. Most of these boyfriends were narcissistic and made me feel insecure about my own attractiveness, something I am usually confident about. I am agonising about throwing away a relationship with a man who really adores me.
我谈过一些非常有吸引力的对象，也许我太重视体格吸引力了吧。我谈过的大多数前任都很自恋，因而让我对自身的吸引力没有安全感（而实际上我对自身的魅力还是很自信的）。我正在为抛弃一位真正喜欢我的男人而感到痛苦。
Should I let him go or stick with it?
我应该和他分手还是坚持谈下去？
Mariella replies Life can, in some ways, be very short. You've written to me at a point in the year when I tend to feel reckless and impatient - "out with the old" becoming my increasingly frenzied mantra! It's perhaps not the best state of mind to be delivering advice, but happily, in your case, it might be. Normally I'm all about compromise. As I regularly reiterate, few relationships survive the course without epic levels of endurance and tolerance from both parties.
玛丽拉回复道，生活有时候非常短暂。你在我一年中往往感到鲁莽和不耐烦的时节给我写信--"旧的不去，新的不来"已越来越多地成为我的口头禅！也许这时候我给出的建议并不是最佳建议，但高兴的是，我或许能为你提出最好的建议。通常情况下，我都愿意妥协。正如我经常重申的那样，恋爱双方若没有史诗般的忍耐和宽容度，这段感情是难以维系的。
Your boyfriend's assets look impressive on paper. A man who's thoughtful, intelligent, sensitive and funny isn't to be sniffed at, but listed thus they sound like a stereotype. Sure, he sounds like a nice guy but, despite the propaganda suggesting otherwise, there are plenty of them about - it's finding one that's tuned to your wavelength that counts.
单从你的描述来看，你男朋友的条件还是很不错的。有思想、有智慧、懂得照顾人、还风趣的男士并不会被冷眼相待，但听上去这些品质会让人产生一种刻板印象。当然，我觉得他是一个好人，但不管其它的宣传建议，很多时候你还是需要着眼于找到能和你有共同语言的人。
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