手机APP下载

您现在的位置: 首页 > 托福 > 托福写作 > 文书写作点评 > 正文

留学文书批改:英文推荐信

来源:TOP小站 编辑:wendy   可可英语APP下载 |  可可官方微信:ikekenet

文书批改:英文推荐信。TPO小站综合点评及批改意见:总的来说,这份推荐信语言表达较为流畅,但篇幅略长,建议稍作精简。建议将文中关于学科部分的内容介绍可以去掉,增加一两句对目前所就读的学校介绍。推荐信中,关于学习的介绍是重点内容,要具体细化出来。另外,建议将课外活动的过程及细节描述做精简,从逻辑上来说,推荐人作为系主任,不可能清楚知道非常详细的细节。

原文:

Dear Sir or Madam:

In my capacity as vice dean of the Department of Business Management, XXX University, it is with great pleasure that I write this letter of recommendation for one of my students, Ms. XXX I first became acquainted with her during her sophomore year, when she took my course Introduction to Management. This course is a compulsory course required by Management School. I found her to be a positive thinker and an active speaker in class, and I owe my thorough understanding of her to the various departmental activities she engaged in.

For as long as I have known her, Ms. XXX has shown exceptional versatility. Her academic performance has been stable and she has built solid foundations in every relevant area of expertise. She is hardworking and deeply involved in departmental activities. I was her advisor in the Qualification Program (QP) Case Analysis Competition, in which participants were required to complete an English-language report on a case study. Ms. XXX's team looked at Kunming Excellence Cars Company, and recommended what they believed to be the best strategy for the company. Ms. XXX’s group undertook a comprehensive SWOT analysis and Ansoff product-market matrix, during which she displayed her analytical abilities and strong logic; she was also able to mobilize close cooperation between her team's members. In the end, their report won praise from everybody.

Ms. XXX, together with some of her classmates, organized a quiz covering geography, history, literature, science, art, and other subjects as a way of enriching classmates'lives after school. She was also selected to be a member of the department's choir, and she represented the department in the school's annual chorus competition. Her team devoted more than a month to intensive rehearsals, and ended up winning fourth place among more than 20 teams. Ms. XXhas also taken part in voluntary activities, for instance helping organize bicycle parking in front of the teaching building, and assisting forums and meetings hosted by the Department of Business Management.

Once Ms. XXX has told me about her career plan.Thinking of her goal in market research, I suggest that she needs to learn more about establishing models, programming with statistical software, and combining theory with practice.These are the aspects where she can improve.

Meanwhile, I recognize Ms. XXX's as an individual of passion, kindness and outstanding intelligence. It is for these reasons that I strongly recommend her to your esteemed school. She is intellectually capable, has a clear plan for her future education, plus fine interpersonal and research skills. Accordingly, I urge you to give her application your full consideration.

TPO小站综合点评及批改意见:

这份推荐信总体来说语言表达较为流畅,但是篇幅略长,建议稍作精简。文中关于学科部分的内容介绍可以去掉,增加一两句对目前所就读的学校介绍。推荐信中,关于学习的介绍是重点内容,因为最好把学习表现及成绩具体细化出来,最好写出在班级或在院系的具体排名。另外,建议把活动过程做精简,因为推荐人作为系主任,工作内容非常多非常忙。从他的立场上来说,是不太可能把你的事情知道的非常详细。

重点单词   查看全部解释    
capacity [kə'pæsiti]

想一想再看

n. 能力,容量,容积; 资格,职位
adj.

联想记忆
recognize ['rekəgnaiz]

想一想再看

vt. 认出,认可,承认,意识到,表示感激

 
engaged [in'geidʒd]

想一想再看

adj. 忙碌的,使用中的,订婚了的

 
relevant ['relivənt]

想一想再看

adj. 相关的,切题的,中肯的

联想记忆
competition [kɔmpi'tiʃən]

想一想再看

n. 比赛,竞争,竞赛

 
excellence ['eksələns]

想一想再看

n. 优秀,卓越,优点

 
thorough ['θʌrə]

想一想再看

adj. 彻底的,完全的,详尽的,精心的

 
statistical [stə'tistikəl]

想一想再看

adj. 统计的,统计学的

 
voluntary ['vɔləntəri]

想一想再看

adj. 自愿的,志愿的
n. (教堂礼拜仪式

联想记忆
intellectually

想一想再看

adv. 智力上;知性上;理智地

 

发布评论我来说2句

    最新文章

    可可英语官方微信(微信号:ikekenet)

    每天向大家推送短小精悍的英语学习资料.

    添加方式1.扫描上方可可官方微信二维码。
    添加方式2.搜索微信号ikekenet添加即可。