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申请赴韩国交换，学习计划批改。总的来说，TPO小站认为这篇学习计划写得太过笼统，之前的相关领域的一些成就，体会，和为什么转专业做交换学习都没有完全交代清楚，不够细化具体。 学习该专业的理由，未来的计划以及所做的准备工作，建议参考这个思路来重新组织文章结构。
原文：
Introduction of my background
I'm XXX, female, a sophomore studying in XXX. During the past 2 years, I was fascinated in the knowledge I have learned. I got a competitive GPA 4.14(equivalent to 3.44/4.0 ) and won a second scholarship (top 15%). I won the first prize of debate competition and diplomatic negotiation competition in our university for many times. The more had I experienced, the stronger willing of getting challenges and broaden my horizon raised. So I seize the opportunity of this international exchange program for the coming fall semester.
Why CAU
First, CAU located in Korea, a fascinating country. Korea is a center of economic activity, culture, and arts, owing an excellent industrial system, those industrial products influence our life, for instance, everyone in my family use mobile phone produced in Korea. Recently Korean dramas, movies, and music are attracting many audiences all around the world, watching Korean drama with my friends in leisure time is one of my hobbies. Thus, I'd love to study and live in Korea for a period of time.
Second, CAU is a attracted university with long history, high reputation and high quality of education. Ranked 6th among universities in Korea, CAU is the first-choice university by Korean students, it is the best choice for me as well. I am dreaming to become a contributing member of society and believing that I can get closer to righteousness and truth with the help of CAU.
Why do I choose to study business administration
I have been interested in business for a long time, though I'm major in law. Last summer, I got an internship in AIA Group Limited (Hong Kong) through a summer program, developed my interest in business administration. After came back to my home university, I choose several course about commercial law, such as securities law and insurance law, both got high marks in the final exams. I choose to study business administration in order to enlarge my knowledge about business, combine my knowledge in law and business, get ready to become a lawyer who has specialty in dealing with business-related matters.
Detailed study plan
1. Enhance my linguistic ability
I will learn and practice Korean before and during my exchange program at CAU so that I can adapt to the environment quickly and communicate to local students easily. What's more, enhancing my reading and writing skills in English must be important. I will definitely keep practicing and make sure I can finish the program without the handicap of language.
2. Learn some theories and practical skills in business administration
I will choose courses like international business, management science, marketing and consumer behavior etc. if permitted and study those courses with all my enthusiazen.
批改后：
Introduction of my background
I'm XXX, female, a sophomore studying in XXX. During the past 2 years, I was fascinated in the knowledge I have learned.（建议将所学的专业具体介绍出来。）I got a competitive GPA 4.14(equivalent to 3.44/4.0 ) and won a second scholarship (top 15%). I won the first prize of debate competition and diplomatic negotiation competition in our university for many times. The more had I experienced, the stronger willing of getting challenges and broaden my horizon raised. So I seize the opportunity of this international exchange program for the coming fall semester. （关于GPA及奖学金相关的信息，建议在简历中列举出来。在这里最好是重点介绍在本科阶段学习到的知识与技能，以及还有那些方面有不足，因此才申请做交换。）
Why CAU
First, CAU located in Korea, a fascinating country. Korea is a center of economic activity, culture, and arts, owing an excellent industrial system, those industrial products influence our life, for instance, everyone in my family use mobile phone produced in Korea. Recently Korean dramas, movies, and music are attracting many audiences all around the world, watching Korean drama with my friends in leisure time is one of my hobbies. Thus, I'd love to study and live in Korea for a period of time.
Second, CAU is a attracted university with long history, high reputation and high quality of education. Ranked 6th among universities in Korea, CAU is the first-choice university by Korean students, it is the best choice for me as well. I am dreaming to become a contributing member of society and believing that I can get closer to righteousness and truth with the help of CAU.（建议将喜欢CAU的原因，描述得更为详尽具体；另外就是第二个理由才是重点，建议与第一个理由互换一下位置。）
Why do I choose to study business administration
I have been interested in business for a long time, though I'm major in law. Last summer, I got an internship in AIA Group Limited (Hong Kong) through a summer program, developed my interest in business administration. After came back to my home university, I choose several course about commercial law, such as securities law and insurance law, both got high marks in the final exams. I choose to study business administration in order to enlarge my knowledge about business, combine my knowledge in law and business, get ready to become a lawyer who has specialty in dealing with business-related matters.（看到这里，才知道是要转专业。建议在第一段介绍完自己的学习背景后，就直接接这一段。）
Detailed study plan
1. Enhance my linguistic ability
I will learn and practice Korean before and during my exchange program at CAU so that I can adapt to the environment quickly and communicate to local students easily. What's more, enhancing my reading and writing skills in English must be important. I will definitely keep practicing and make sure I can finish the program without the handicap of language.
2. Learn some theories and practical skills in business administration
I will choose courses like international business, management science, marketing and consumer behavior etc. if permitted and study those courses with all my enthusiazen. （最好将具体的课程名称细化出来。）
TPO小站综合点评及批改意见：
总的来说，这篇学习计划写得太过笼统，之前的相关领域的一些成就，体会，和为什么转专业做交换学习都没有完全交代清楚，不够细化具体。 学习该专业的理由--未来的计划--所做准备，建议参考这个思路来重新组织文章结构。
