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Do I look fat?
我看起来胖吗？
Noo.
不胖。
Okay, I accept that. When Janice asked me and I said no, she took that to mean that I was calling her a cow.
这点我可以接受，当Janice问我时，我回答不。她却认为我说她像母牛。
Okay, walk us through it, honey, walk us through it.
重头再说一次给我们听…
Okay, well. Janice said 'Hi, do I look fat today?' And I, I looked at her....
Janice问我她今天看起来胖吗。我看看她…
Whoa, whoa, whoa. You looked at her. You never look. You just answer, it's just a reflex. Do I look fat? Nooo! Is she prettier than I am? Noo! Does size matter?
你看看她？你绝不能看，你只能回答，就像反射动作，“我看起来胖吗？”，“不”，“她比我漂亮吗？”？不，胖瘦重要吗？
Nooo!
不！
And it works both ways.
这点男女都适用。
Okay, so you both just know this stuff?
所以你们本来就知道这些？
Well you know, after about thirty or forty fights, you kinda catch on.
吵了大概三四十次后你大概就记住了。
Okay, for instance. Let's say, Janice is coming back from a trip and she gives you two options.
例如，Janice旅行回来她给你两种选择。
Option number 1 she'll take a cab home from the airport. Option 2 is you can meet her at baggage claim. Which do you do?
选择一，她从机场自己搭计程车回来；选择二，你在领行李的地方与她碰面。你会怎么做？
That's easy, baggage claim.
简单，领行李的地方。
(buzzes) Wrong! Now you're single . It's actually secret option number three, you meet her at the gate. That way she knows you love her.
错了，所以你没女朋友啦，其实是第三个秘密绝招，你在登机门与她碰面，这就表现出你对她的爱。
Okay, this is good, this is good.
好，这样真不错，好。
